ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMoon's Metrophobia

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MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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THE THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM!

As some of you might already know. I'm Moon. This is my third attempt at keeping a thread alive.

It's totally gonna die,
and I might cry.
But it's worth a try :3

^ Poem of the OP. Please Help the poem prove itself wrong, and don't let it die. Donate your time and feedback to this poor thread, so it can feed it's baby poems. :>


Anyways. I'm not really sure what all this will contain, I just hope there will actually be people willing to help me become better at whatever I try to do. So... I guess that means I will be writing (duh), drawing, and other artsy-fartsy stuff I shall attempt.

So... That's all I have for the OP! I hope that all onlookers will enjoy what I do!

  • 258 Replies
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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I'm a bit stuck. I have been really busy since I'm now employed once again, and I haven't had much time to write. I'm really tied but I want to leave this little tidbit here so when I get time I can come back and work on it. Feel free to use it and finish this.

Safe in the steep cliffs
I've waited
This wasn't something
I've anticipated.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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If anyone is seeing this right now, I have a poll of sorts for a class. I would like the answers here instead of a separate thread because it won't take very long. But there are just a few questions I'd like for you guys and gals to answer.

Do you have a favorite poet or author? If so, who and why?
Do you have a favorite poem or book? If so, what and why?
What is your preferred form of poetry?
What is your favorite genre of reading material?

Nurvana
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Nurvana
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1% !!!!

Richard Adams, because he's a modern author that preserves the Romantic and bucolic style of medieval British literature.

Catch-22. Ever read it? Then you know why.

Er, prose? I have a deep-seated distain for poetry that stems from my inability to write it.

As for favorite genre, I guess my answer would be not poetry. Fiction or non-fiction, autobiographical, it doesn't really matter.

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
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Poet: Rudyard Kipling.
Author: P.G. Wodehouse.
Poem: No.
Book: Zany Afternoons.
Poetry Preferred: Esoteric and/or obscure; nothing overladen with alliteration or assonance.
Reading Material: Humour.

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
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Forgot to explain:

Wodehouse, because his humour is superb.
Kipling, because...well, I'm not sure, but he came up with some interesting works.
Zany Afternoons is an illustrated book of sheer nonsense, including the ironing board building, tank polo, and popular workbench.

Salvidian
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Salvidian
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Favorite author would be Voltaire. Dude was a comedic and political genius.
Favorite book is The Stranger by Camus. It's the only book that made me cry.
Preferred poem is epic. I love longer stuff.
Favorite genre is romance. I love love!

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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Thanks for your responses, guys. It came in handy for my research~

Anyways, I'm trying to write a bit more, and this is what I have so far for the poetry contest. I want to expand it a bit, but for now I'll leave it heere. Feel free to tell me what you like or dislike, or just tell me anything at all.

A slumbering mountain,
Ancient and exhausted.
Shifting and moving,
An avalanche of tingles.
The sound of snapping trees
mixed with the shrill cries of birds.
Piercing through dusty lids,
The brilliant sun grows brighter,
ripping you from lethargy.

Gantic
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Gantic
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I'd like to say something, but for some reason it doesn't seem like a good idea.

You'll hear about in a week, even if you don't submit.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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I'd like to say something, but for some reason it doesn't seem like a good idea.

You'll hear about in a week, even if you don't submit.

ooo I am waiting~

Pity I didn't go back and polish it so I could submit it, but it's alright seeing as how the poetry contest has even been unstickied.

I'm still around, kiddos. School starts today and I'll be working 3 jobs so I may not be around very often, but I'll make an attempt to be more active than I am now.
Gantic
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Gantic
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I unsticky a lot of things. If it were up to me, I'd unsticky everything and leave the only one sticky in each forum with a bunch of animated GIFs and links to threads. I'm going to properly redo a few and it will be perfection.

A slumbering mountain,
Ancient and exhausted.
Shifting and moving,
An avalanche of tingles.
The sound of snapping trees
mixed with the shrill cries of birds.
Piercing through dusty lids,
The brilliant sun grows brighter,
ripping you from lethargy.


I think this is too metaphor heavy. The idea is there, but the comparison to the image of an old slumbering mountain is too clichéd. The sharpness of sensory input, shrill, piercing, ripping action puts force behind being woken unwillingly, and I like that, but I think there could be a stronger contrast and a better transition from slumbering to ripping, reinforced perhaps by regular rhythm coupled with pleasant alliteration, assonance, or consonance like using slow/slowly, slothful, sluggish, etc. when you also use slumbering. Slowly, slothful, sluggish would easily fit a trochee or an iamb. However, this might take some power/reverence away from the image of an ancient mountain stirring.
Salvidian
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Salvidian
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Why are you scared of trains anyway? Or big cities?

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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Why are you scared of trains anyway? Or big cities?

what
Salvidian
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Salvidian
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"Metrophobia"

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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"Metrophobia"

why don't you google, metrophobia, hun.
It means fear of poetry. And this is a poetry thread. get it
Gantic
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Gantic
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Metro for the public transportation comes from metropolitan subway. Metropolitan comes from metropolis. Metropolis comes from Greek meaning "mother city". Therefore, metrophobia could actually mean "mother fear".

Metro in the sense of metrophobia as referenced above comes from the Greek word for measure. Poem already comes from Greek. Why the heck do you appropriate the word 'meter' into metrophobia in some weird synedochic confusatorium. poetophobia would make more sense even if it's wrong.

English sucks.

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