ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMoon's Metrophobia

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MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

THE THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM!

As some of you might already know. I'm Moon. This is my third attempt at keeping a thread alive.

It's totally gonna die,
and I might cry.
But it's worth a try :3

^ Poem of the OP. Please Help the poem prove itself wrong, and don't let it die. Donate your time and feedback to this poor thread, so it can feed it's baby poems. :>


Anyways. I'm not really sure what all this will contain, I just hope there will actually be people willing to help me become better at whatever I try to do. So... I guess that means I will be writing (duh), drawing, and other artsy-fartsy stuff I shall attempt.

So... That's all I have for the OP! I hope that all onlookers will enjoy what I do!

  • 258 Replies
nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,981 posts
Grand Duke

Ah I see you requested a name change.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

This new name came from Frank's imagination... I don't even know where he got it from... But whatevs, I'll probably change it often :>

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,981 posts
Grand Duke

Sounds all chim and stuff but it makes no sense to me. :P

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Don't tell him... But I don't get it either.

But technically it does represent my thread, since I don't understand what the title means, its like saying I don't know what Im doing.

And I don't.

So.. Yeah!

I'm thinking of making my old and new thing into a song, because just written down it doesn't sound the same as it does in my head... But we will see where it goes.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Paradise
I'm really in love with that song.
You should listen to it!
_____

This isn't poetry... It's a rant. Well, not a rant. It's just life. We all live it, so you should all read this.

We've all been through school. Well, most of us, anyways. Almost every kid has said "Ughhhh I HATE school!" at one time or another.

And sometimes I agree. But today I realized that school, however boring and repetitive it is, really does set you up for life.

You waste most of your day at school. You will probably waste most of your day at work in the future, too. Same old boring schedule for a semester. Same old boring schedule for your job. Sure there will be some exceptions, who are creating new things and such, but there are the people behind the scenes, pushing those buttons. Lots and lots of buttons.

And, like the Jetsons, you will probably not be happy with just pushing buttons. Most people I've met want to be something important, something that people will know them by. We think that just plain old office jobs aren't important, that it has no real impact on people.

Do you ever think about what would happen if no one pushed those buttons? The cogs and screws wouldn't be there, the machine would stop working.

So why is it that people aren't happy with button pushing? Why do we not care about what businesses do, we would rather hear about whatever celebrity slept with another one.

Now, I'm not saying that AG is like this. It's known that around here, the average IQ is a smidge higher than normal.

But, setting yourself up for life in the future isn't just what you should be happy for. We all know education isn't just handed out freely in other parts of the world.

Most people don't realize how it is, not even having a chance to gain knowledge. I didn't really care, until I met a new friend, LiLi.

That's her American name, because I doubt AG could handle her Chinese name. Anyways, she came here in order to learn. The school she went to was pretty much 4 teachers and a chalkboard. She now goes to my school, and is in my Chinese 4&5 class with me. She's absolutely fascinated with everything here. She wants to go to school here for the rest of her life.

It just amazed me how much a person could like school. I mean, I knew we all dealt with it, but LiLi LOVES school. When we were at the mall, she just spilled out her stories about back home, and it just got me thinking.

Now, I've probably rambled on and on for a while now... and it probably has no point whatsoever... But that's okay.

I would just really enjoy seeing someone realize how lucky we are, instead of complaining about it....

Yeah, Blah. I just really needed to type that out for people, because I hope. I hope that people will change, for the better.

I BLAME TRAINS.

Up next: Nothing!

Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,508 posts
Jester

Do you ever think about what would happen if no one pushed those buttons? The cogs and screws wouldn't be there, the machine would stop working.

So why is it that people aren't happy with button pushing? Why do we not care about what businesses do, we would rather hear about whatever celebrity slept with another one.


I blame Generations 2 and 1, who made trivial jobs seem worthless and demeaning to generation 3 (us). We all want to have kick*** jobs in the future and want to avoid these low-end jobs (which by the way will improve your work ethic like a mother) like a plague.

Up next: Nothing!


No dango tree?
http://rainbowdash.net/file/madflavors-20110630T035114-h5qr3z5.gif(Rainbowdash/Madflavors)
daleks
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daleks
3,770 posts
Chamberlain

Anyways, she came here in order to learn.

Sadly lots of people don't care about the learning part. They are too focused on the grades. You can get good grades but still not learn anything. It is the learning that is important not the grades.
I BLAME TRAINS.

What?
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

No dango tree?

Trees grow slowly, love.

Sadly lots of people don't care about the learning part. They are too focused on the grades. You can get good grades but still not learn anything. It is the learning that is important not the grades.

True dat. I believe there are a few schools not giving grades and stuff, to see how much they improve or something. I dunno. Google it :P

What?

APUSH stuff, it's kind of an inside joke. Whenever something wrong goes on in the world, our class blames it on trains because it was really the standard management and such that was hand in hand with trickery and such, thus leading to such a horrible world in some close-minded way.

SO IT IS ALL THE TRAINS FAULT.

/irrelevance] Sorry.

Not irrelevant! It's just showing how much people really care about their edjumacation, but from a homeschooled-type-thing point of view! :P

And those stupid trains... >.>

They are why we have Snooki.

I hope you mean that you don't know? D:


Pretty much, yeah. I think I have something though, I'll post it next :P
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

No matter the turn of events
No matter the situation
They stuck through it all
Even through the complications.
I've always questioned their feelings for me
I've never thought that I changed
But apparently I have
Because now I can brighten their day.
I always thought I brought them down
But I see that I make them smile
I can manipulate the air around
And make our times worthwhile.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

You should listen to it!


*owns the album*

It's a rant. Well, not a rant. It's just life. We all live it, so you should all read this


I am reminded very much of my own Reflections. Pretty deep stuff ya gots there.

This most recent poem I quite like. While the meter is a bit odd (it seems to be a song to me), I like the rhyming scheme and the message it sends. I have a little fuzzy feeling inside of me when I finish it. Good job.

I also believe there is 'Moar stuff GOSH DUDE'.
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

lolfail.
REEEEEEEEEEEEVIVAL!

As I look into the water,
All that I see
Is my angry face,
Glaring back at me.

I look determined,
But I feel my own fear.
All I have to do,
Is jump down from this pier.

I can't look to the sky
Because I don't want to worry about my salvation,
Isn't taking my own life
Condeming me to ****ation?

Oh no
Here I go
Wondering about what is next.
Is there a way to say that I am afraid?
Without having some one coming in to invade
On my poor little pity parade?
I can't remeber the last time I prayed.

But this is why I want to leave
So I don't have to wonder.
If this next life really exists.

After I stop unclenching my fists,
I jump off the rail, and start to fall.
I hit the water, with a sound as loud as thunder. Hoping it was heard by all.

As I lose my sensory feelings, One clear thought screams through my head.
I'm going under and there is nothing I can do.
Nothing I want to do.
Nothing to be done.
I guess I lost in the long run

Because all I see is black
I don't hear a voice,
Trying to call me back.
I don't feel my self being lifted or pulled
To heaven or hell.
There goes my shot at figuring it out.
Seems usless now to think, Oh well.

I feel myself
fading away
Not even darkness
Just a generic shade of grey.
So this is what it boils down to.
Nothing in itself.
Let me fade off with this last adieu.

44Flames
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44Flames
585 posts
Nomad

Thats really good I love all the emotions in the poem with how she or he just killed themselves but was willing to take it because they thought the next life was better for them. Very sad when I think that this actually happens in the real world just because someone can't be there friend or whatever curcumstance. I almost shed a tear reading this poem there is alot of extreme emotion in this poem like extreme angry and sadness. I let you take a bow MoonFairy because this is a emotional and very descriptive poem that I know many people will love.

Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,508 posts
Jester

Pretty good, it was just like a 1st person story. A grim one, but that's not for me to say.

Feel as though these lines:


I hit the water, with a sound as loud as thunder. Hoping it was heard by all.

As I lose my sensory feelings, One clear thought screams through my head.


Could have been condensed more to fit the rest of the passage. As one line, they seemed to lengthy to fit with everything else. For the non-poet in me, you seemed to jut back and forth between present and past tenses, where I feel it would connect the best if all were on one side.

Okaaay...something good something good something good.... You had epic imagery cycling through the poem! They accurately represented the effects of the water from the pier, the setting, the colors, wah! You can feel the emotions from your mirrored half, the determination on one side, the fear and the "don't do it!" look that pokes back.

I don't hear a voice,
Trying to call me back.
I don't feel my self being lifted or pulled
So this is what it boils down to.
Nothing in itself.
Let me fade off with this last adieu.


*Sadness has been increased by >9000!*
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

They'll try to change you
But don't fall for it.
They'll make you like them.
But it isn't right.
They are afraid of
Being different.
They can't
Understand it.
Why are you afraid of
What you can't see?
Why do you have
To get mad at me?
I stand my ground
I won't back down.
Do what you want.
I'm here for only
A little while longer.
I can take your crap.
I don't need to be happy.
Just a little while longer...
I have this under control.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

The wolf laughs with unrestrained glee,
as he pounces on his prey,
killing it instantly.
Biting into the flesh of the deer,
He rears his head back,
And howls with a sneer.
Now he runs through the length of the forest,
And he runs into a small field.
Where he finds a very small girl,
Oh, what a deal!
The girl walks up to him,
And he looks back with a glare.
She reaches out to touch him,
And his nostrils flare.
Another human enters the field,
He becomes very tense,
The human screams and runs away,
Now this doesn't make sense.
Why did the human leave the girl?
Why didn't she follow the man?
It seems the girl has nowhere to go.
Now the wolf starts to make a plan.
He'll keep the girl,
Since the man, she didn't follow.
He'll raise her in his new pack of two,
Now his heart won't be so hollow.
So he walks back to the forest,
And the little girl is right beside him.
He walks into a large cave,
Where the humans won't be able to find them.
The wolf raises the girl as his own,
And the girl begins to learn.
She knows every part of the forest,
Every tree, every path, every fern.
She grows older and so does he.
Now the girl goes out alone.
He is not there to notice that,
Humans now know about his home.
One day the girl leaves,
And she never comes back.
The wolf now has to live alone
Now love ,again, he lacks.

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