ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMoon's Metrophobia

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MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

THE THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM!

As some of you might already know. I'm Moon. This is my third attempt at keeping a thread alive.

It's totally gonna die,
and I might cry.
But it's worth a try :3

^ Poem of the OP. Please Help the poem prove itself wrong, and don't let it die. Donate your time and feedback to this poor thread, so it can feed it's baby poems. :>


Anyways. I'm not really sure what all this will contain, I just hope there will actually be people willing to help me become better at whatever I try to do. So... I guess that means I will be writing (duh), drawing, and other artsy-fartsy stuff I shall attempt.

So... That's all I have for the OP! I hope that all onlookers will enjoy what I do!

  • 258 Replies
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Aw thanks pang (3 days later)

The one thing that throws me off is the sporadic rhyming..though, that isn't to say it is a negative..I'm just personally used to constant rhyming


I normally do constant rhyming, but this time I was just writing whatever in one sitting and pew pew pew out came that. I didn't really notice it didn't rhyme until after I posted and I made no efforts to change it I guess u_u

Ah I don't have much inspiration for anything and I don't know where my old thread is.... D: It's probably so far back it's gone by now sigh

Uhm maybe I'll do something later tonight i dunno
daleks
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daleks
3,770 posts
Chamberlain

If I post here Moon will probably yell at me. If I don't she will still yell at me.

I really like your line "I don't have much insperation for anything." It really speaks to me.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

I AM YELLING AT YOU NOW.
jk thanks for the words that you worded here.

Yeah, I really tried to convey my emotions there. A sort of nonchalant, semi-empathetic way to say "Still love me and pay attention to my thread, while I do nothing"

Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,507 posts
Jester

A most blissful feeling,
That cannot be compared.
A personal journey,
With only one that can be shared.
But what is true bliss,
Without catastrophe?
How can we reach true joy,
Without agony?


A very nice comparison to the Yin-Yang philosophy, as a world severely biased on one side can hardly compare each other without something on the other side to counteract it.

We all want just one,
To keep to ourselves.
Our lovely little secret,
In our souls held by a spell.


Beeeeautiful! Not sure if taking out the commas would better connect the string, or keeping the commas would give it dramatic pause.
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Thanks guys~

I suppose since my other thread is so far back it is gone, I'll remake my archive. I'm not going to try and go through the entire FLP and make it right now, because that was 14 pages of poetry, double or triple stacking poems in each post, so as you can imagine it is a lot. I'll try to post one of my old poems once a day, and I don't know if the previous poems I have here are already posted from the old archive, so if you have seen it more than once in here, beg pardon. Just point it out to me and i'll have it deleted and such.


The mournful winter releases life
From its duty for a season,
Some view it as death,
But I view it as with a reason.

This was my first post in the FLP and since it is so short I'll post the second one too.

He shot me, and my dreams were shattered glass...
Who knows why he did this?
I cannot see if this pain will pass.
Ruining my perfect balance of bliss.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Come, Come away...
With me
Lets be together
Forever
We will thrive in our glee
Free to love
Free to be
The only future that I can see
Is where you are by my side
Cause you came with me.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Blood drips
from your head down to the floor.
Looking around me
It is a blood fest galore.

Can't run away
Cause the smell is so inviting
Can't stall or delay
The taste is so delighting.

EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

It's a bit sadistically humorous to read your last two poems as one.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

It's a bit sadistically humorous to read your last two poems as one.

oh god i didn't even see that wow good job on pointing that out

I'm not a serial killer I swear to god
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

I'm not a serial killer I swear to god


It's ok Moon, we won't judge.

I like especially the "RE RE RE RE REVIVE" post poem. I think you nailed it in regards to the rhetorical questions at the end. They flow quite nicely with each other.
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Mav are you trying to get back at me for your thread > >

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying.

EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

wow good job on pointing that out

I'm just picturing you outstretching your hand to someone which they then clasp in their own as you both blissfully skip to a small, cozy cabin beside a lakeshore. As a crimson sunset shines through the window while you slowly dance as one, you silently lift a dagger from a nearby table and plunge it repeatedly into your companion's chest.
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

I'm just picturing you outstretching your hand to someone which they then clasp in their own as you both blissfully skip to a small, cozy cabin beside a lakeshore. As a crimson sunset shines through the window while you slowly dance as one, you silently lift a dagger from a nearby table and plunge it repeatedly into your companion's chest.


I'm not that evil D:

But it would make for a good book story thing
EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

I'm not that evil D:

We don't know what you're capable of. I certainly wasn't expecting a bloodlust poem from you; maybe from wolf, but not from you. Your poems often seem so whimsical and light, and if there is something heavy, there's a strong buildup to it. But this time, you sent it so casually. As casually as "I ate his liver with a side of fava beans *sucking hiss*."

But it would make for a good book story thing

Tragedies do seem quite popular, especially those told from experience... *dramatic music*
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