ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMoon's Metrophobia

258 40483
MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

THE THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM!

As some of you might already know. I'm Moon. This is my third attempt at keeping a thread alive.

It's totally gonna die,
and I might cry.
But it's worth a try :3

^ Poem of the OP. Please Help the poem prove itself wrong, and don't let it die. Donate your time and feedback to this poor thread, so it can feed it's baby poems. :>


Anyways. I'm not really sure what all this will contain, I just hope there will actually be people willing to help me become better at whatever I try to do. So... I guess that means I will be writing (duh), drawing, and other artsy-fartsy stuff I shall attempt.

So... That's all I have for the OP! I hope that all onlookers will enjoy what I do!

  • 258 Replies
MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

I believe this is the last of my FLP poetry.

Jun 21st, 2013
Two sides of the same coin
Always together
Will never see each other
Is it really for the better?
_____

I will now have to scrounge through my old thread to find the rest of my poetry from the contests and stuff.

MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Now that I have completed the FLP portion of my archive, I will start on the poetry contest entries. I believe that my old thread also contains all of them, but I am not sure if I have already posted them here or not. I don't have the dates for these, either, but anywho.

Calming rhythm,
Steady waves.
Continuous drumming,
For all days.

Crashing softly,
Against the land.
So I lay down,
On the damp sand.

Feel the water,
Brushing against my feet.
Returning again,
Repeating the beat.

The wave is something,
You cannot amass.
It belongs to the Earth,
It's something you cannot grasp.

Can't hold it in your hand,
Or keep it in a jar.
But you can see it,
Up close or afar.
_____

Again I shall repeat that I am open for criticism! I know my wording in most of my poems seems a bit off. I sacrificed that for the rhyme scheme, but I'm not sure how I will fix it and I don't have the will to sit down and edit this before I post it here. Besides, it's an archive, it doesn't necessarily have to be 'good'

Nurvana
offline
Nurvana
2,535 posts
Blacksmith

I am open for criticism!


Can I criticize the lack of new material?
MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Can I criticize the lack of new material?

You can, but it won't get you very far. I have attempted at writing in the FLP, but it is quite a disaster.
_____

The emotional sea,
slowly kills,
by swallowing me.

Pulling me under,
as I reach the top,
As the sky continues to thunder.

Fury, depression, love, hate,
choke my heart,
till it's too late.

No one tried to save me,
they just watched me drown,
even though they could all see.

They saw how,
I needed help,
But it doesn't matter now.

Their sweet lies,
Muffled my screams,
No one could hear my terrified cries.

So here I will die,
Because I can't win the fight,
I wasn't strong enough to defy.
_____

I'm so sorry I have to keep posting these pieces from when I was a little punk I am so very sorry please forgive me
_____

These are the two things that I have recently done in the FLP. I may try to come back and expand on them after I'm done with the archive mess, but we shall see

I almost forgot to tell you, but
I left my heart in your hands.
I didn't mean for it to happen.
This was never in my plans.
__

Dum didalee doo
The pit-pat of my shoe
Dum didalee dee
The tip-tap on my knee
__

It physically pains me that I can't seem to write anything with meaning anymore. But I shan't give up! I will keep attempting. Prepare yourselves.
IcyIndia
offline
IcyIndia
1,345 posts
Peasant

write anything with meaning anymore.


Meaning doesn't need to be unhappiness. Try something meaningful that's more external?

So this is just me, but I don't rhyme in my poetry because I feel constrained by the words I have to choose to fit a rhyme. I don't want to tell you what to do, but maybe you should try something without rhyming.
MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Where there is life
There is death.
Where there is doom
There is hope.
Where there is hate
There is love.

It holds us together,
As much as it tears us apart
It cuts us away from each other,
While taping us all back in place.

Such contradictions
We will never understand
And to live through them
Is something that can't be planned

What do you choose?
Love, Hope, and Life?
Or Death, Doom, and Strife?
It isn't up to the world,
It is up to you.
What will you do?
_____

So this is just me, but I don't rhyme in my poetry because I feel constrained by the words I have to choose to fit a rhyme. I don't want to tell you what to do, but maybe you should try something without rhyming.

I really wish I could. It's sort of difficult for me to NOT rhyme, most of the time. I mean I can try to, but I actually prefer rhyme (if you couldn't tell by the 50+ poems that rhyme) I may attempt it in the future, though. We shall see!
MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Well I have been waiting a lil bit, but I actually have written something new. I'm a little rusty, so please forgive me. But I decided to expand on the FLP one I did.

I almost forgot to tell you, but
I left my heart in your hands.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
Trust me, this wasn't planned.

We've all been there before.
The world of suspicion.
Is there a single soul you can trust
With such a fearful disposition?

But you've somehow scaled the walls
Managed to crawl into the cracks.
Now that you've found a place in my heart,
I don't know if I can ever go back.

It's hard to trust again
After harboring heart break.
But somehow you've discovered a cure
to soothe the agonizing ache.
_____

I am totally open to comments and suggestions on this one, guys. I thought of writing a bit more, but I feel like four stanzas is a good stopping point for now.

MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

I hope I'll be done with this archive mess soon, because it's poems like this that make me hesitant to finish.

As I look into the water,
All that I see
Is my angry face,
Glaring back at me.

I look determined,
But I feel my own fear.
All I have to do,
Is jump down from this pier.

I can't look to the sky
Because I don't want to worry about my salvation,
Isn't taking my own life
Condeming me to ****ation?

Oh no
Here I go
Wondering about what is next.
Is there a way to say that I am afraid?
Without having some one coming in to invade
On my poor little pity parade?
I can't remeber the last time I prayed.

But this is why I want to leave
So I don't have to wonder.
If this next life really exists.

After I stop unclenching my fists,
I jump off the rail, and start to fall.
I hit the water, with a sound as loud as thunder. Hoping it was heard by all.

As I lose my sensory feelings, One clear thought screams through my head.
I'm going under and there is nothing I can do.
Nothing I want to do.
Nothing to be done.
I guess I lost in the long run

Because all I see is black
I don't hear a voice,
Trying to call me back.
I don't feel my self being lifted or pulled
To heaven or hell.
There goes my shot at figuring it out.
Seems usless now to think, Oh well.

I feel myself
fading away
Not even darkness
Just a generic shade of grey.
So this is what it boils down to.
Nothing in itself.
Let me fade off with this last adieu.

MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Goooooodness gracious I really do wonder what was going on in my head during those years of middle school and high school. Such a pity I can't remember, but it's probably for the better that I can't remember what made me so darn sad and angsty.

Sitting still,
Time means nothing,
Everything around,
Moving slowly.

Don't understand.
What just happened,
Or how it came to be.
All there was,
Was a little kid
Running through street.

Hearing sirens,
Rush around me,
Can't feel my feet on the ground.
Suddenly,
Everything is back to normal,
and I make the mistake of looking around.

Lifted next to another gurney,
With a little boy strapped up tight.
His head was bleeding freely,
He was looking into a light.

He then looked over at me,
And I gave him a painful smile.
He wasn't even 7 years old,
What a poor little child.

He gazed up to the light again,
A smile broke across his face.
He then drifted to the sky,
To a better place.

I couldn't seem to grasp,
That it is I that caused his death.
I didn't realize that I was responsible,
For making him breath his last breath.

MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Where the sky reaches the land
Higher and higher
Touch God's hand
An overwhelming desire
To reach the peak
At peace with the life
No more answers to seek
No more strife
For me
Just live
And be free.

Salvidian
offline
Salvidian
4,229 posts
Blacksmith

For me
Just live
And be free.


These lines seemed kind of short and I think it messed with the meter a bit. But if they were song lyrics, they would probably work pretty well.
MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

These lines seemed kind of short and I think it messed with the meter a bit. But if they were song lyrics, they would probably work pretty well.

Yeah, you're right. I meant to have punctuation there. You gotta kind pause for effect. Or affect. It's effect, right? yeah.

Anyways this is something new. Not very good but I figure if I keep messin around and just force myself to write something, then maybe I'll get a smidgen of inspiration.

I can't stop doing it.
It must be in my veins.
Silencing the protesters,
Throwing them in chains.

I can't let anyone know.
Don't you understand?
No one can ever see
What I have planned.

It's quite simple, really.
But this I can't disclose.
You'll have to wait and see
Until the final chapter is composed.
Freakenstein
offline
Freakenstein
9,554 posts
Bard

This recent piece must have unraveled the inner minds of the Koch Brothers.

MoonFairy
offline
MoonFairy
3,391 posts
Farmer

Alright well I am still in semi-archive mode, and this was one for the poetry contest I think.

Trenches, trenches
which ones to choose?
The ones during the war
in which Germany was doomed to lose?

What are the other types of trenches are there?
I look at my mom and ask her my question,
And it is quite apparent that she doesn't care.. ("> &gt
And now it has become my obsession
to find out about other types of trenches besides warfare

My research isn't fruitful
and now I am lost
I don't know what else to rhyme about
because my computer battery is about to exhaust.
_____

obviously not a serious poem. Anyways. Prepare yourselves for tomorrow's angst-filled poem! Until next time, darlings.

Riptizoid101
offline
Riptizoid101
6,303 posts
Blacksmith

Emily is experimenting with new material?

Showing 211-225 of 258