PEACE AND WAR Or: The Tribulations of Two Nations as they Engage Over the Role of Women, Sammiches, and Various Other Things
Written by Maverick4 and Alexistigerspice ____________________________________________________________
[b]I: A Reasonable Introduction[/url]
The Duchy of Maveria was a very humble country. It existed quite independently of other, lesser nations, and turned up its nose when forced to deal with others. It's people spoke quite openly about their own greatness, regardless of whether there was anybody around to speak to our not. And there was some measure of truth to this: For The Duchy of Maveria would be a formiddable opponent to face in combat, provided people actually waged wars anymore (the brutal thing had been done away with some time ago, but The Duchy never got that specific memo).
The leader of The Duchy was a man by the name of Mav. However, he was not called Mav. In fact, only three types of people ever called him 'Mav': Those who wanted to die, those awaiting death, and those already dead. Upon rising to power, Mav... er... The Prince had decreed that all would call him 'The Prince'.
"But," you're probably saying, "How can a Duchy be led by a Prince? A Duke is supposed to lead a Duchy!" And you are right to say that. For in the normal usage of the term, a Duchy was ruled by a Duke or Duchess. The Prince was quite aware of this fact, but simply did not care. He was The Prince of The Duchy of Maveria, after all.
And so we shall open our tale on The Prince himself. He's currently in his War Room, discussing the invasion plans of one of his neighbors. If we hurry, perhaps we can listen in on him...
This looks like it will be amusing. Seems like one of those random stories. So it's basically like a story, but written in the form of two nations' relations or something like that?
Alexis of Tigerspicia was a noble Duchess. She guided her people with a quick mind and kind heart. All women were equal in her land, and none allowed themselves to be trampled under the might of men. Secluded by the craggy rocks of the Spice of Tigerclaw mountains, her small dukedom thrived. Her people were content in their lifestyle, and considered themselves a peaceful society. There had been no wars since the Great Divide, in which many women broke off from their ungrateful male counterparts and sought refug in different areas of the world.
There were, of course, men in Tigerspicia. They came of their own volition after the Divide, seeking a life of calm. They were allowed to stay, on the condition that they never utter the Deadly Phrase. If a man says it, he has sentenced himself to death by lashing.
The population of Tigerspicia has grown in recent years, and the time has come for its boundaries to expand. The Duchess is currently departing to visit a nearby country, the Duchy of Maveria, to trade for a small plot of land to grow crops on. The Price and Alexis are on friendly terms, and she has high hopes for this mission.
The trip down the side of the mountain will be rigorous, and Alexis dreads it. The lack of resources has left our kind Duchess' stomach empty, and it begins to growl in hunger...
To say that The Prince and Alexis are on friendly terms is a gross mistake made by only the most inexperienced of narrators.
To say that anyone could have high hopes upon entering into The Duchy of Maveria is to say that a mouse would feel comfortable entering into the domain of a very hungry cat.
That being said, this here narrator feels the need to explain what is no doubt a very confusing situation. The management in charge of producing this story, Maverick4 and Alexistigerspice, decided in a more previous time that it would be better told with the aid of a well trained narrator like myself. However, given the vast distances between the going ons of our two characters, it was soon found that a second narrator would have to be hired. Thus explains the existence of my compatriot. And while I cannot control who I work alongside with, I will ask that you find it within yourself to kindly forgive his ineptitudes.
Now if you will follow me, we will enter into the War Room of our beloved leader, The Prince. Just, Uh... Ignore the 'DO NOT ENTER' sign. I don't really know why its there, hehe...
Note: At this, the narrator seems to shift his weight nervously, as if he's... Well... Nervous.
Alexis was trekking down the mountain, still steadfast in her assumption that all was well between the Prince and herself. She, always the one to believe the best of people, did not realize the he was plotting her destruction behind closed doors.
She was breathing heavily and her hunger tormented her constantly. More than anything, she wanted a sammich. By eveningtime, our lovely Duchess was camped at the halfway point of the mountain, her escort comprising of five of her best swordswomen. With three people on guard at all times, they enjoyed a small snack of dried beets that did nothing to sate Alexis' hunger, and she went to bed with her stomach roaring like a lion.
That night, she dreamed of pastrami on lightly toasted Italian bread, with warm gooey cheese.
Of course her friend, Mav, would have no problem making her a sammich when she arrived.
Little did she know, to ask for a sammich is to provide an excuse for war.
The air in the War Room was thick with tension. A circle of adjutants hung about a central table, which held a map of the area. Generals crowded along three sides of the table, while a lone figure at the head of the table watched. A single figure directed carved peices representing various units around the map.
'...And the advance of the 3rd Armored Brigade will provide the diversion needed for the 17th Infantry Battalion to advance upon their capital. I estimate that, with this strategem, enemy capitulation will be in... Three days.'
The generals murmured in astonishment, but were interrupted by one of the adjutants.
'Sir. Scouts have reported a group crossing our border at approximately 1900 hours. Its a party of six: 5 guards, and what appears to be the Duchess herself.'
A collective gasp went up in the room, though the lone figure remained silent. He began to tap a section of the map, where the party had crossed over.
The Prince spoke: 'Then perhaps we should give our... Guests a warm welcome.'
VI: Arriving at Maveria The Duchess woke with the sun as it peeked over the horizon. She had slept poorly and stretched as she looked down the mountain. They were close to the kingdom, and Alexis thought she could see people already milling about the gates. She couldn't be sure, though. She roused the two guards sleeping near her. Even in slumber they were prepared for a battle, hands resting on the hilts of their swords. The rest of the trip went well enough, and they were on grassy land quicker than they expected. The only disomfort experienced was the constant, nagging hunger inflicting them all. The sun was at its highest when they reached the gates, and were greeted rather disturbingly.
The Prince himself was waiting for her, smirking and surrounded by armed men.
To adequately describe the look on The Prince's fast, one must first understand what a snake looks like when it has cornered a mouse. Its face says to the mouse 'We all know what the outcome will be'. The Prince was fully confident in the capabilities of his military forces, as well as his own ability as a statemen and diplomat. It was well known throughout the Duchy that The Prince had a special way with words:
'It would seem,' said The Prince, 'That my enemy has delivered herself quite readily to my gates.'
The men around him chuckled, obviously in on the joke. As if by some silent gesture, the laughter stopped. This was because a man with Cue-cards was standing on the Ramparts out of sight of the road.
The Prince spoke again: 'Prey tell me, why are you here?'
