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A poem about HOPE

Posted Jan 26, '12 at 3:00pm

44Flames

44Flames

594 posts

I Hope...

I hope you know that life is about learning and that you are able to appreciate it.
I hope you are open-minded to every experience that comes your way.
I hope you trust yourself enough to know when to make the right choice.
I hope you love yourself.
I hope you understand the importance of friends and family and never take them for granted.
I hope you are able to give praise and be praised instead of give judgment and be judged.
I hope you challenge yourself.
I hope you are able to take the pain with the love and understand that each is only possible because of the other. I hope that the way you define wealth, fortune and prosperity is through happiness and love.
I hope that you use your right to choose: everyday in every situation.
I hope you respect yourself.
I hope you are able to laugh at yourself but never feel like the butt of someone's joke.
I hope that you understand your strength and that you can overcome all of life's obstacles.
I hope you always strive to be more; but understand that you are enough.

 

Posted Jan 27, '12 at 2:26pm

44Flames

44Flames

594 posts

I would like suggestions and tips on how to imrove my poem thanks!

 

Posted Jan 27, '12 at 2:44pm

Faunbard

Faunbard

464 posts

hmmm, maybe.... a little bit too long.... idk..
Possibly add a ryhme scheme? dont hate on me for this but it sounds like somting my mom would tell me before bursting into tears. No offencen but it kind of sounds remotely like a lecture.....
Keep up the good work. :+)

 

Posted Jan 27, '12 at 4:56pm

44Flames

44Flames

594 posts

Thanks. I wasn't going for a ryhme scheme. Just something that popped into my head and I wrote a poem about it. But thanks for the tips.

 

Posted Feb 24, '12 at 9:34am

trakds

trakds

20 posts

The youth minister at my church has said a few times "what if you woke up today with only what you thanked god for yesterday." makes you think doesn't it? I like that old hymn about counting your blessings.

 

Posted Feb 24, '12 at 7:48pm

sirmed2

sirmed2

157 posts

Inspirational. :) How long have you been writing these poems? And I certainly hope you make some more.

 

Posted Feb 24, '12 at 10:54pm

dudeguy45

dudeguy45

2,594 posts

Who is this directed to? I like how the long lines are cut in by the short lines like "I hope you love yourself". It has a nice feel.

Sometimes it gets wordy, like "I hope that the way you define wealth, fortune and prosperity is through happiness and love." Poetry is all about making the most meaning out of the least word possible. for example (may not be the best one) "i hope that when you think of wealth you think of only love and comfort". Just a suggestion.

 
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