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Bullying

Posted Feb 18, '13 at 4:28pm

Kasic

Kasic

5,592 posts

Sad thing is, by the time some of the students that have been in the news got to step 4 they committed suicide.

If it was that bad, involving teachers/parents should have been skipped to. It also would have been apparent that they were depressed/needing help. Likely there were other issues at play too.

At some point we have to stop "thinking" about what the bully needs, and deal with the bully himself/herself.

Obviously.

I bully doesn't do a once a time thing, its reoccurs.

Please refer back to my previous posts, I am well aware of this.

"There are three parts to what defines an action to be bullying: Imbalance of power is the most important. There is then actions or words which are intended to cause harm emotionally or physically. Lastly, it must be chronic."

What has happened in America where we tend to care more about the bully than the bullied? lol pussification at its best

What has happened where people are too self righteous and arrogant to consider that the bully is the source of the problem and that treating the source is the most effective way to the solution? What has happened to the fact that many bullies are victims themselves?

If you can fix the bully, all of their victims will be left in peace. If you fix the victims, you're patching up holes while your ship is under fire.

Things go far deeper than you realize.

 

Posted Feb 18, '13 at 6:06pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

5,158 posts

1) Stop doing whatever it is that you're being bullied for. This is the most simple solution. If you can't stop then ignore this.

That's questionable. Usually whatever you're doing is harmless, i.e. using his favorite swing, or just standing around.

2) Confront the bully, but not in a violent or antagonistic way. They may not be aware that what they are doing is bothering you. If they don't stop after you do this, move on to the next point.

That's true. Sometimes it's just a guy who thinks he's being cool and doesn't realize he's really being a pain, but again, that depends on how violent he's already been.

3) Ignore the bully. If you stop responding to their taunts, they'll lose interest. If after a few weeks they don't stop, move on.

I agree with you on that one. If he can't get attention, it's no fun. Especially useful when other kids are around.

4) Involve teachers/parents/friends and ask them for their support. At this point you have taken every reasonable action against the bully that will not get you in trouble. Teachers/parents have much more authority than your friends and will be able to help you far better.

Definitely. Adults usually solve the problem. However, I have to offer another solution:

5.) Have someone superior to the bully reason with him. The bully is more inclined to leave you alone when he knows someone else is capable of doing the same to him. Violence can be avoided entirely, as well as potential complications that come with telling an adult, unless the adult in question wants to take the "Bigger than you" approach.

I'm not saying "have a big brother snap the bully's arm in half." Just knowing that the BIG brother is looking out for his little brother is a very effective tool.

 

Posted Feb 18, '13 at 6:19pm

Vendablebow

Vendablebow

30 posts

^ this is what I said a page ago and was blasted for it. Just intervene if you can, it doesn't have to be violent. He just has to know that someone larger than him, can do something about it if it continues.

 

Posted Feb 18, '13 at 7:06pm

Kasic

Kasic

5,592 posts

That's questionable. Usually whatever you're doing is harmless, i.e. using his favorite swing, or just standing around.

Hence the qualifier.

5.) Have someone superior to the bully reason with him. The bully is more inclined to leave you alone when he knows someone else is capable of doing the same to him. Violence can be avoided entirely, as well as potential complications that come with telling an adult, unless the adult in question wants to take the "Bigger than you" approach.

The problem with that is when that person is not around, they may still bully the victim.

Just intervene if you can, it doesn't have to be violent. He just has to know that someone larger than him, can do something about it if it continues.

I don't recall anyone saying you were wrong to suggest the victim seek help. I only said that doing that with violence wouldn't help.

 

Posted Feb 18, '13 at 9:48pm

SubZero007

SubZero007

401 posts

Just jumping in on the discussion here. Many times bullying is often mislabeled. In actuality, bullying is repeated abuse of multiple instances after being told to stop. Lots of people believe that just one instance of a rude comment or other harassment is bullying. My personal thoughts on bullying is that if it's cyber bullying or verbal abuse, just try to ignore that person until you can distance yourself from that person. However, if that person physically touches you, run away or get help. However, if none of the other options are available to you, punch them in the mouth. Bullies rarely expect resistance.

 

Posted Feb 18, '13 at 10:36pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

5,158 posts

I agree with SubZero, especially on bullies not expecting resistance.

The problem with that is when that person is not around, they may still bully the victim.

True, but just barely. A particularly bold bully may convince himself that the older brother will never come back, but usually that isn't a problem. Kids being bullied sometimes say "Just wait til my big brother finds out!" which doesn't usually work because they're bluffing. When a big brother DOES show up, it changes the game.

 

Posted Feb 19, '13 at 11:54pm

157C

157C

58 posts

Everyone I appreciate your support but some kids are completely messed up with these kinds of situations. Ex: thepunisher93 is completely messed up when it comes to this stuff. Fight fire with fire? Unbelievable. Please try to ignore these people and just talk about bullying.

 

Posted Feb 19, '13 at 11:58pm

blk2860

blk2860

4,529 posts

If someone attacks you, you actually have every right to defend yourself, just don't use excessive force.

 

Posted Mar 1, '13 at 6:39am

samiel

samiel

355 posts

Excessive force is often s last resort but remember some poeple refuse to learn for example I know a guy who got  the crap beat out of him twice and get this he can bench 110 he calls this 6'2 guy who can  bench 200 a stupid n word guess how that went over but oh it gets even better he comes to school the next and running mouth his to a guy who is roughly twice his size (I'm not exagerating) and has beat the crap out of him twice before.

 

Posted Apr 24, '13 at 2:15pm

KnightDeclan

KnightDeclan

487 posts

Stop being wimps and fight back.  Or just walk away! Only people that deserve it get it.

 
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