Arax, The phrase, You are not unique. We are the all knowing dancing $h!t of the world. That is from the book and movie Fight Club. And by drugs, I meant Prozac, zoloft, and other crap like um.
Rude. Of course I'm rude. Have you looked at my page? Do you realize that I am 26. I have been exactly where you are right now. If you'd like a window into the life of Tim, me, here you go.
When I was 5 my father died of questioanable circumstance. My mother never fully recovered, and I was raised pretty much by my sister 12 years my elder till she married and moved. I became a goth because it had all the people I was looking for and, whammo, goth I became. You say thinking about suicide and epression happen. You are absolutely right. A BS mask of happy, right again. But, have you ever attempted suicide? Ever triex to end you life? I did. Once with a knife. Once with drugs. Once by jumping off an 80 ft bridge into the river. And guess what? When I turned 24 I finally went to a therapist/psycologist. Mind you this is well after I met my wife, grew up, matured, and quit caring about what others think of me, and joined the NAVY.
Now, with all that said, do honestly think that what you are fealing is unique? Maybe its unique to you, but mot the emotion. Others all around the world have felt it. Kids who have drunks for parents. Catholic alter boys(ewww). Kids that are raised in the ghetto's and projects in section 13 housing living on welfare alone. Kids in adoption homes for the majority of there teenage years.
I say again, what you are fealing is not unique. But, that also means you are not alone. If you truly, genuinely, honestly feal the way you say you feal, if you can, talk to your parents. #ell, talk to a counselor or preacher, if your religious. But, don't, for one instance think you are alone in this epic struggle with depression.
