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Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

If this is not suitable for AG forums, please lock it ASAP.

Okay, to start things off: DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THIS! This was only made as a joke. I was in school today, I had three free periods, and I started writing this.

This religion was founded by Jheybuz Crunch.

Jheybuz Crunch is one of the holy three-some, which include: Casper the holy ghost. Jheybuz Crunch and Big Daddy.

The 10 commandments:-

1. Thoust shall always pray tomorrow.

2. Thoust shalt always fast from foods and drinks yesterday.

3. Thou shalt read the holy babble every Tuesday, 29th of February unless it is a school or work day.

4. Thou shall play games on AG for 269.4888888 minutes a day (do the math.)

5. Always leaveth work until the last minute before the due date.

6. Thou shall kill Breakfasterians at sight. In any manner that pleases you (try to be creative.)

7. Thou shall not harm a fellow Crunchian.

8. Thou shall not eat lumps of human faeces.

9. Thou shall peel off the faces of actors who act in Shakespeare's plays with broken glass.

10. Chuck Norris. Enough said.


If you are a Crunchian, you should always remember to address me as 'High Crunchess Skyla'... I suppose 'Queen of the Universe will do, too.

Join Crunchianity now. Enjoy the eternal bliss eating crunchy cookies.

  • 37 Replies
Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Oh Skyla...

Devoidless is so gonna crush you. I sense religious war on the horizon.

This will be FUN to watch!

Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Also, re: commandment 8- that is totally discriminating against coprophiles, you horrible intolerant bigot :P

Commandment 9 is even worse, what kind of philistine would deface the thespian community so!?

Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

Haha! No fair! He has the moderator advantage

Oh well, I should've been prepared, I'm waging a war against a religion with many AG followers... and a moderator Father.

But hey, I have Norris on my side

Girl_Power
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Girl_Power
379 posts
Peasant

Ha ha wish you luck Skyla!

Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Ah, and while I'm at it, you do not have Chuck Norris on your side. He is a devoutly conservative Christian :P

What you've done is channeled Chuck's spirit with an invocation.

Gasp, witchcraft! :O

Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

Haha, Strop is a communist.

I have an English exam tomorrow. I have to understand one of Shakespeare's plays (Hamlet) and so far I haven't read even finished the first act... so yeah, I'm pretty pissed off with Mr. William.

Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Me, communist? Are you being discriminatory against Communists too?

HORRORS D:

But I am totally jealous that you got to study Hamlet. I had to settle for Anthony and Cleopatra.

Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

A mule!?

Couldn't you at least have turned me into a pony? Or some magnificently hunky stallion or something? Or a unicorn?

WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!?!?

Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

Yeah, I saw Chuck's reply to the evolution fact... didn't sleep for three nights. I feared him even more!

A witch, I am. I am a witch. Abracadabra - you are a mule!

Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

you got to study Hamlet.


Heh, study? Did I mention my teacher is somewhat a communist, too? She sits in class and lets students teach each other. Yay, everyone gets a chance to be a teacher... except, the only line I know from Hamlet at this point is 'to be, or not to be.' Yeah, it's 1:02 am and I am about... 0.004% done studying.
Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

What about "Alas, Yorick, I knew him so well!" :P

Condolences on having a communist teacher. Self-directed learning gets you nowhere...spoon-feeding does! And that's why an entire class in my year ended up getting marks of 4/20 and 6/20 for their essays on King Lear...

Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

What? Turn you into a pony? You believe in magic? Psshh, pathetic!

Strop is a superstitious communist.

Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Whaaaaaat!? And who was the one babbling spells and waving that wand at me just now!?

You...you vile capitalist Crunchian!

Skyla
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Skyla
291 posts
Peasant

I didn't wave no wand. You really are superstitious!

You must be hearing things.

Oh, by the way, it's 'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well'

Ha, Strop makes a mistake. A milestone!

Strop
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Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

OH NOES, I TYPO'D!

Which technically is a mistake in itself, so same diff.

Of course I hear things. You are a thing. I also see things! And touch things! And smell things!

You smell c.c

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