Forums

ForumsArt, Music, and Writing

Twiction Contest -- The Greatest Story Ever Told (page 11, Due September 9)

Posted May 26, '12 at 6:17pm

Xzeno

Xzeno

2,354 posts

Looks like it fits now, Stormdragon.

Anyway, I may not get around judging until Thursday.

 

Posted Jun 4, '12 at 9:13pm

Xzeno

Xzeno

2,354 posts

Or today. So here's the judging:

Honorable mention: Cenere! Cenere's entry, page 1, was disqualified for character count. However, the writing was pretty good.

So, the entries: I'll talk about them, just based on my impressions.

3rd place:

Think about it:
The internet is a place with unlimited space. Yet we had to come up with a new system so we will not run out of addresses.


While my Xzenoy devotion to technical accuracy compels me to observe that the Internet does not have UNLIMITED space, I like the idea of this entry: He is observing the irony of the fact that the system is limited for arbitrary reasons rather than hard technical/mechanical issues. The implication of this twiction is more than &quotlanning ahead is good", to me, it says something about understanding the nature of the thing one is working with. It calls for a sort of understanding that goes deeper than mere factual knowledge. It suggests that problems arise when the design of something is at odds with its spirit. One flaw is that its extra space is trying too hard to fill the character limit.

2nd place:
Little hamsters, scurrying about, sending data back and forth to their destinations. They travel along this pathway -- this series of tubes.
First, Poison gets mad cred for not using cats. Series of tubes that cats crawl through is overdone. The strength of this entry is its clear focus. It embodies the spirit of the contest: to say something in a very string of text. Poison's entry paints a single image to describe the Internet. The tubes, to me, can be seen as one of those tubey hamster playground places that are awesome. The hamsters are of course integral to the structure: without them, it has no purpose and no life. The hamsters are the masters of the tubes. But, of course, they are merely hamsters. Small creatures in a series of tubes so vast that none is able to truly grasp all of it. To me, it characterizes and Internet that is more than the sum of its parts, and somewhat alien -- yet the image choices humble the whole affair. This juxtaposition between mighty and vast forces and less awe-inspiring forces is this entry's strength. It gets one to think about the nature of the Internet... and hamsters, of course.

Winner:
Now feast your eyes as millions view your embarrassments--while biting the thumb--to add insult to injury; you only have yourself to blame.
To me, this entry does its job quite well. That job, is, of course, distilling a human experience to 140 characters. Maybe it's just because I post stuff I invariably come to regret, but this is a part of the Internet for me. It focuses on a feeling we all know too well: the feeling that comes with the aftermath of doing something you regret online. Be it a facebook status or a post on this very forum, that lonely humiliation is known by all. I presume. The wonderful thing about this piece is that Frank doesn't spend too much time spelling out the emotion, he merely expresses a situation and allows the emotion to flow from the reader.

It's also interesting that this was written for the theme of "the Internet". It suggests that the experience is one fundamentally understood as part of Internet usage (and it is, for me). I also like the characterization of those who see what you wrote. As with the Internet, they have no mercy, no sympathy, no emotional connection to you. The last clause suggests that the addressee of the piece knows that such reactions are inevitable: such treatment is a mechanic of the Internet, a force of e-nature, as blameless as a hurricane. We just make the mistake of standing in its way.

This entry manages to distill a fundamental human experience and relate it to the nature of the Internet as a whole in a well-written way. Thus it wins.

Anyway, due to popular demand, the character limit will be changed to UP TO 140 characters. Whiners.

The next theme shall be The Cold War. What? The Cold War? But that's like a historical event! Xz, you're doing this wrong! Everyone knows that REAL art is about vague adjectives and nouns! Something like "nature" or "love"! I mean, who writes FICTION about real life when one can just write some vague phrases tied around a theme? The answer is no one on AG. Yet the theme remains the Cold War. Yes, I am speaking of the conflict between the United States and the Soviet Union. However, feel free to take the message about the vagueness of themes in the OP to heart.

Entries are due one week from today.
 

Posted Jun 5, '12 at 1:17pm

StormDragon

StormDragon

4,555 posts

"War, war never changes." The franchise Fallout said this. When I look at the Cold War or any other war, past or present, I have to agree.

I'm surprised I got placed in the top 3. I was thinking that I would get placed lower then that or not mentioned, as has happened so many times I have entered something.

 

Posted Jun 5, '12 at 1:22pm

Cenere

Cenere

14,002 posts

Knight

Is this when I manage to write a 141 character long story, just to spite you?

Also, if I knew double spaces were grammatically correct, I would ttly have cheated too. Except, probably not.

 

Posted Jun 5, '12 at 4:03pm

Cenere

Cenere

14,002 posts

Knight

At a wonderful 140 characters (as counted by Word):

Living life in fear, paranoia is a way of life. If one attacks, so does the other, and who are we to stop them? We are not politicians. Why?

And no, I don't know why the twiction I write is so depressing. It just happens.

 

Posted Jun 9, '12 at 1:38pm

Pois0nArr0w

Pois0nArr0w

2,115 posts

Words like daggers, poised at the backs of government. Bullets cast of subterfuge fire from the dark. Men of many faces hide in the shadows.

Eeyup

 

Posted Jun 10, '12 at 4:53pm

ellock

ellock

387 posts

Countries locked in war, silent and undefined. Hidden in the dark data gained and lost simultaneously, like vipers in grass ready to strike.

I had to change poised to ready to fit the text. I was at 145 the first time and cut a few things down and did it! I do miss poised though. Oh well. Hope you like it.

 

Posted Jun 10, '12 at 7:14pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,431 posts

I wonder how much fear could have been averted, how many lives could have been saved, if we had just whipped out the old ruler back in 1947.

 

Posted Jun 10, '12 at 11:19pm

TackyCrazyTNT

TackyCrazyTNT

1,955 posts

It is far too late realized that a chilly silence is more dangerous than all weaponry in the world, and that a wall of iron can be far colder than the iciest summit.

 

Posted Jun 11, '12 at 10:10am

Strop

Strop

11,085 posts

Moderator

This is when I realise I don't know much about what actually happened in the Cold War. Australia wasn't really part of it, you know.

"People said they would do things. The world fearfully stood, waiting for them to do the things they said they would do. Nobody did anything."

 
Reply to Twiction Contest -- The Greatest Story Ever Told (page 11, Due September 9)

You must be logged in to post a reply!