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Twiction Contest -- The Greatest Story Ever Told (page 11, Due September 9)

Posted Jun 30, '12 at 3:58pm

Cenere

Cenere

14,002 posts

Knight

Narratives, eh?
Let's see if this qualifies.

She ran through over the snow, her hooves hardly touching frozen ground. Yet, the grey hunters still narrowed in on her life, soon to feed.

(hint: it probably doesn't.)

 

Posted Jun 30, '12 at 8:31pm

invisibleninjagirl

invisibleninjagirl

29 posts

Well...let's answer this last minute! This looks fun!

Thunder cracks and lightening flashes, scaring everything away. How could something so mysteriously beautiful be so terrifying?

I used the first character count I saw on Google and counted by hand, so if I miscouned, PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME! Anyways...yeah, this is a cool idea. I like this idea more than the poetry, although regardless I sporadically enter those. Anyways, I've never been much for poetry, but I fancy myself an alright writer. So...yeah, don't let it die, please.

 

Posted Jul 1, '12 at 12:02am

pHacon

pHacon

1,941 posts

Nature?! I think I'm going to be sick..

Blah.. If I HAVE to...

Always changing, yet forever the same. Evolving both in life and death, it will remain. Don't worry for its own sake, but for yours in it.

 

Posted Jul 2, '12 at 10:57pm

Xzeno

Xzeno

2,354 posts

...and then I said: "I'll judge it on Saturday!" HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, here's the judging.

3rd place: "Often the subject for those who try to remain original yet aren't creative, nature is overused, justifying one thing: nature is everywhere." Jeol's entry. Alright, in case no one's figured it out by now, entries are ranked with a loose nod to quality, with first being the best by some metric. Really, I just place entries I kinda wanna talk about. So let's talk about the flaws with this entry. Well, it lacks any sort of story. It definitely falls into the tweetlike commentary about theme category. I'd also accuse it of being somewhat unoriginal, as it is more or less parroting my sentiments in the opening post about themes like nature. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't hold this contest so you can tell me what I already know. Writing paraphrases of the arbiter's view is a wonderful skill in college, but I like to pretend to have more integrity than that. Of course, so do professors...

So the half-baked justification for this entry being placed above other entries is that it does a good job of embracing the thematic overtones of the contest. He's willing to write an entry that's more about how the theme and contest are stupid, and that's a plus. Not the only way to enter this contest, of course, probably not even the best, but a good strategy.

2nd place: Aknerd! "We dove into the densest forests to determine what is natural, what is normal. In the empty skies above, the stars simply laughed."

Ah aknerd, the king of second place. I don't know what I place you, but you haven't won yet and I always consider you for the top spot. You woulda had this theme locked down, but Cen brought some pretty compelling **** to the floor, so better luck next time.

So first: Hey, check it, ak's tells a story. And you know what it uses to tell that story? It uses well-defined contrasts between humanity and nature as well as the scale of space and the finite nature of human knowledge. It uses form and literary devices to juxtapose opposites and make meaning. Which is awesome. That's like good writing and stuff. That's all I feel like I have to say on the matter. Which is a shame. Because it's a big deal... moving on.

W1nnar: Cenere! "She ran through over the snow, her hooves hardly touching frozen ground. Yet, the grey hunters still narrowed in on her life, soon to feed."

Right, so I wasn't joking when I spoiled the winner in the last entry. Eeyup, Cenny won. I like how Cenere got the memo that a nature theme doesn't have to be about nature. The rest of the entries wrote general responses to nature as a whole concept. Cenere's entry, in contrast, incorporates the theme without allowing it to dominate the entire piece. While the rest of the entries were general responses to the concept of nature, Cen wrote a piece with its own personality. While by itself, his piece might raise lotsa questions it doesn't answer ("grey hunters? hooves? h'wah?"), Cenere uses context to fill in the holes. Instead of being trapped by the admittedly stupid theme, Cen used it to tell a story. So mad props.

It also included clear-cut characters. Which isn't a requirement of course, but characterization in 140 characters is no easy feat and deserves some recognition. But we're ignoring the elephant in the room: Why did Cen win? Beyond all the reasons I suggested above, a careful reader will notice that Cen's entry has a female protagonist. Which is the surest way to my heart. Which is why Cen's entry won. That was seriously the final deciding factor.

So now Cen, you win a merit. So go and ask Gantic to give you a merit. Not just any ol' mod. It doesn't work if it's not Gantic. Now, I know you're Cen, so you're gonna wanna not ask Gantic, so let me repeat: Ask Gantic for a merit. This contest has not point if it's not Gantic. :3

So that wraps up the theme "The Nature" (thank Strop for that pro title). So, now for the opposite on multiple levels: instead of focusing on the reality around us and using it as a bull**** pretentious way to seem artistic without actually being artistic, we're moving to a more imaginary genre that resolutely defends its right to exist despite its utter lack of literary merit.

While some might argue that this theme is better suited to teaching children to read rather than an artistic contest (some being me) we're moving on to Science Fiction and Fantasy. Some tips: it doesn't have to be both Sci Fi AND fantasy, but mixing the two is fun as well. On that note, those with metaentry aspirations like Jeol should notice the difference between sci fi, fantasy and sci fi & fantasy. Entries are due Saturday. The 7th. Of July.

 

Posted Jul 2, '12 at 11:04pm

Xzeno

Xzeno

2,354 posts

Lol jk guys, it's due on Tuesday the 10th. Also, I forgot:

Champion's Corner: "That which we attempt to apprehend, existed since the beginning of time; it swallowed us and scatters us like the insignificant dust we are."

Strop's entry features an EPIC comma splice in the best spot ever: right between the subject and the main verb. "The girl, kicks the ball." That's what you sound like. In the other direction, I dig the semi-colon. Speaking of a colon, I'm having fun imagining the swallowing and subsequent scattering. Tee hee.

dust is pretty trite, but it does win existentialism points. And I'm all about existentialism. Existentialism and female protagonists. That's me.

 

Posted Jul 3, '12 at 1:07am

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

His space helmet shattered, he stared at star and planet light by night. Waiting for the end for it was nigh. His luck....an alien flew by.

 

Posted Jul 3, '12 at 11:21am

invisibleninjagirl

invisibleninjagirl

29 posts

Purple skies and bright blue sunshine sprinkle across an imaginary land, breaking through darkness to take me to my fantasy world.

 

Posted Jul 3, '12 at 11:23am

Cenere

Cenere

14,002 posts

Knight

W1nnar: Cenere!

Yay!
So go and ask Gantic to give you a merit.

D:

I am entirely reading that as Science Fantasy and will go with that as my theme. Much more fun than either of those.

He began dissecting the dead being we had found earlier. A small being with more limps than should have been permitted by nature. And yetâ¦

Sadly, it's not perfect, and I have a strong urge to write more about it (the above is pretty much a sliced up version of what I originally wrote, but 350 characters seemed a little steep) but we will see how it goes.
 

Posted Jul 7, '12 at 9:11pm

killersup10

killersup10

2,766 posts

Star ships, bullets people crying, blood everywhere. Robots coughing the hopes of humanity into the dread hole. Hope is death, the end here

 

Posted Jul 8, '12 at 8:26am

aknerd

aknerd

1,431 posts

I can't decide between two entries-

Ah, the pain as dreams of a million stars die! For I, the last on board the rocket, was the first to remember that I left the kettle on.

-and-

A cruel flash tears us from our dinner. My wife slowly floats toward me. In space, we both scream the same silent scream. We float forever.

 
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