ForumsArt, Music, and WritingGantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia -- Round Five, Page 7

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Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

Much to your disappointment, this is not another run-of-the-mill fantasy story about a weapon of crass distraction. This is a thread of Sordid Acts of Paronomasia that'll scare and amaze ya, scare ya with the sheer terribleness of puns created, amaze ya with the absolute incredibleness of ingenious puns skillfully fabricated.

So is this a thread of Gantic's terrible terrible (sometimes multilingual) puns? No! It is Gantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia, a contest! ... of sorts. And it'll run for six or seven rounds. You the punster, be you pungent or fragrant vagrant, are challenged to come up with the best pun relating to the theme of the round.

The prize? Well, ancient wisdom says:

A good pun is it's own reword.

And I agree. But don't fret! The punster who accrues the most Gantic Points shall awarded the title. What title? Why the title, of course! This thread, at its conclusion, shall forever be known as YourNameHere's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia.

Entries can be submitted in whatever format necessary to present the pun. Got a joke? Got a story? Or a visual pun? No problem. It doesn't even have to be funny! Other forms of wordplay may also be substituted for punnery. One entry per person per round.

Entries will be judged arbitrarily according to predetermined criteria, i.e. whatever the judge likes, and rated on a scale of 0-5 Gantic Points. The judging is highly impartial. To win, good punmanship is a necessity.

Be aware that there is such a thing as a bad pun and you may lose points (i.e. a negative score) if it's really bad. There's a difference between bad and groanworthy. Just for kicks, I'm not going to delineate the difference between bad and groanworthy.

So if you can lose points, then you must also be able to gain bonus points! Just to be fair, of course. And yes there is! But that is for you to figure out.

Onward to the theme then:

Theme for Round One against the Sword Axe: Armor Games

You have until Wednesday, June 20th.
  • 69 Replies
light_chaser
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light_chaser
1,052 posts
Shepherd

Oh, dang. I specialize in terrible puns... well, here goes nuthin'.

kong would sure like to find a ***** in the armor, wouldn't they...

light_chaser
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light_chaser
1,052 posts
Shepherd

I said ch!nk... *****

Pois0nArr0w
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Pois0nArr0w
2,055 posts
Peasant

***** is a slur directed towards the Chinese, as well as a crack, cleft, or fissure

light_chaser
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light_chaser
1,052 posts
Shepherd

I meant the latter. sorry to all the chinese peeple here...

Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

Irony: entering a punning contest with an unintended pun.

light_chaser
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light_chaser
1,052 posts
Shepherd

Lol, I know right! XD I suck at doing good puns.

Cenere
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Cenere
13,734 posts
Scribe

I have a few lame puns, but none of them translate well into English, so I will spare you of those. Instead, let's just take a moment to consider something I saw in a commercial.
A Strop-Top.

jeol
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jeol
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Herald

Hmm, I wonder, do they sell strop-hoodies? I think it would be cool to strop a mane (of cloth) onto my head.

Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

Lol, I know right! XD I suck at doing good puns.

Yeah, because your unintentional ones are better. :P

I have a few lame puns, but none of them translate well into English, so I will spare you of those. Instead, let's just take a moment to consider something I saw in a commercial.
A Strop-Top


Isn't 'strop' Dansk for 'strap'? I might just learn the language for the buns. You know, I wonder if I might be Danish because I'm such a... pun bun. (+5 Gantic Points -3 Gantic Points for laughing at own pun for too long.)
light_chaser
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light_chaser
1,052 posts
Shepherd

I must be lucky, or from another planet... I'm hoping for the latter.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

For the theme, can it be any one aspect of the site, or must it include the site in its entirety?

Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

Anything related to the theme will count.

Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

Today's the last day to submit anything for the theme 'Armor Games'.

Cenere
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Cenere
13,734 posts
Scribe

Darn, then I will have to hurry up with the illustrating... I'm so tired!!

jeol
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jeol
3,842 posts
Herald

I feel like if I try to make a pun, it's going to be really bad. I don't really care if puns are bad or not; I laugh at all of them.

Oh well, better to get negative points than none at all, right? ;D Alright, here's my entry:

ArmorGames sponsors flash games... These games are sure IRONIC!

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