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Gantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia -- Round Five, Page 7

Posted Jun 12, '12 at 11:01pm

Gantic

Gantic

7,041 posts

Moderator

Much to your disappointment, this is not another run-of-the-mill fantasy story about a weapon of crass distraction. This is a thread of Sordid Acts of Paronomasia that'll scare and amaze ya, scare ya with the sheer terribleness of puns created, amaze ya with the absolute incredibleness of ingenious puns skillfully fabricated.

So is this a thread of Gantic's terrible terrible (sometimes multilingual) puns? No! It is Gantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia, a contest! ... of sorts. And it'll run for six or seven rounds. You the punster, be you pungent or fragrant vagrant, are challenged to come up with the best pun relating to the theme of the round.

The prize? Well, ancient wisdom says:

A good pun is it's own reword.

And I agree. But don't fret! The punster who accrues the most Gantic Points shall awarded the title. What title? Why the title, of course! This thread, at its conclusion, shall forever be known as YourNameHere's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia.

Entries can be submitted in whatever format necessary to present the pun. Got a joke? Got a story? Or a visual pun? No problem. It doesn't even have to be funny! Other forms of wordplay may also be substituted for punnery. One entry per person per round.

Entries will be judged arbitrarily according to predetermined criteria, i.e. whatever the judge likes, and rated on a scale of 0-5 Gantic Points. The judging is highly impartial. To win, good punmanship is a necessity.

Be aware that there is such a thing as a bad pun and you may lose points (i.e. a negative score) if it's really bad. There's a difference between bad and groanworthy. Just for kicks, I'm not going to delineate the difference between bad and groanworthy.

So if you can lose points, then you must also be able to gain bonus points! Just to be fair, of course. And yes there is! But that is for you to figure out.

Onward to the theme then:

Theme for Round One against the Sword Axe: Armor Games

You have until Wednesday, June 20th.

 

Posted Jun 13, '12 at 11:41am

light_chaser

light_chaser

659 posts

Oh, dang.  I specialize in terrible puns... well, here goes nuthin'.

kong would sure like to find a ***** in the armor, wouldn't they...

 

Posted Jun 13, '12 at 11:42am

light_chaser

light_chaser

659 posts

I said ch!nk... *****

 

Posted Jun 15, '12 at 1:38pm

Pois0nArr0w

Pois0nArr0w

1,565 posts

***** is a slur directed towards the Chinese, as well as a crack, cleft, or fissure

 

Posted Jun 15, '12 at 4:03pm

light_chaser

light_chaser

659 posts

I meant the latter.  sorry to all the chinese peeple here...

 

Posted Jun 16, '12 at 11:41am

Gantic

Gantic

7,041 posts

Moderator

Irony: entering a punning contest with an unintended pun.

 

Posted Jun 16, '12 at 1:16pm

light_chaser

light_chaser

659 posts

Lol, I know right! XD  I suck at doing good puns.

 

Posted Jun 16, '12 at 1:32pm

Cenere

Cenere

12,941 posts

Knight

I have a few lame puns, but none of them translate well into English, so I will spare you of those. Instead, let's just take a moment to consider something I saw in a commercial.
A Strop-Top.

 

Posted Jun 16, '12 at 2:05pm

jeol

jeol

3,565 posts

Hmm, I wonder, do they sell strop-hoodies? I think it would be cool to strop a mane (of cloth) onto my head. :D

 

Posted Jun 16, '12 at 9:58pm

Gantic

Gantic

7,041 posts

Moderator

Lol, I know right! XD  I suck at doing good puns.

Yeah, because your unintentional ones are better. :P

I have a few lame puns, but none of them translate well into English, so I will spare you of those. Instead, let's just take a moment to consider something I saw in a commercial.
A Strop-Top

Isn't 'strop' Dansk for 'strap'? I might just learn the language for the buns. You know, I wonder if I might be Danish because I'm such a... pun bun. (+5 Gantic Points -3 Gantic Points for laughing at own pun for too long.)

 
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