Bonthebobhi's Profile

Bonthebobhi

Member since: 1/29/2011
Gender: Male
XBOX Live: Bobthebobhi

About

Two muffins in an oven.
"Oh my gosh, we're gonna die!" said the first muffin.
"Oh my gosh, a talking muffin!" said the second.

I found out what a forum post is (:D).

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6 Secret Truths in Life:
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

Pass it on if you're an idiot who fell for it!(I did)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From a little book called "Disorder in the Court." They're things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q:What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteen.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A:Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget.Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q:How old is your son, the one living with you?
A:Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q:How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years
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Q:What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A:He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:And why did that upset you?
A:My name is Susan.
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Q:And where was the location of the accident?
A:Approximately milepost 499.
Q:And where is milepost 499?
A:Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
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Q:Sir, what is your IQ?
A:Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
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Q:Did you blow your horn or anything?
A:After the accident?
Q:Before the accident.
A:Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
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Q:Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q:Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A:Yes, sir.
Q:What did she say?
A:What disco am I at?
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Q:Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q:The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Q:Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q:Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
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Q:Did he kill you?
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Q:How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
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Q:You were there until the time you left, is that true?
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Q:How many times have you committed suicide?
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Q:So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q:And what were you doing at that time?
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Q:She had three children, right?
A: Yes. Q:How many were boys?
A: None. Q:Were there any girls?
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Q:You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes. Q:And these stairs, did they go up also?
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Q:Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A:I went to Europe, Sir.
Q:And you took your new wife?
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Q:How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q:And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q:Can you describe the individual?
A:He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q:Was this a male, or a female?
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Q:Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A:No, this is how I dress when I go to work
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Q:Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q:All your responses must be oral, OK?What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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Q:Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A:The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A:No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy.
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Q:Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q:Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q:Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q:So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q:How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A:Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q:But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A:It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel