- Member since: 9/22/2009
- Gender: Male
Chuck norris Jokes by: Gunthex, and Ghostofelements
-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
-Chuck Norris can Divide by Zero
-God can walk on water, But Chuck Norris can swim on land.
-Chuck Norris Can throw a zero throwing once dice and can do one throwing two dice.
-Chuck Norris has worked in crash tests for cars. He did the wall.
-Once upon a time Chuck Norris destroyed a german airplane pointing it and saying: "Bang!"
-The light goes from Sun to Earth in 8 minutes. Chuck Norris does this in 2 minutes. And he stops in a bar.
-Chuck Norris can speak braille.
-Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
-The keyboard of the computer of Chuck Norris has the button F16. When pressed, the computer takes off and goes in mission in afghanistan.
-Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
-Chuck Norris can make the sea cry
-the sea Seperates Itself for Chuck norris
-Levels of difficultys:
-Chuck Norris is vegetarian, but not because he loves animals. Because he hates plants.
-Chuck Norris knows a special hit. It gives to the victim just three day of life. Incosecutive days.
-Once upon a time Chuck Norris threw a frisbee. Today it's known as the Halley's Comet!
-Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
-Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.
-Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
-Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.
-Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
-Once a cobra bit Chuch Norris' leg, After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
-When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
-Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
-If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
-Chuck Norris never retreats. He attacks in the oppisite direction.
-Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
-On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
-Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
-M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
-Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball.
-Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris once a heart attack; his heart lost.
-Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
-Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
-Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
I like music. 1940s and Songs like "Black hawk down- main theme" (I do not like rap)
I'm a christian.
I don't swear.
Me and my Friend were playing MW2
And we were messing with a young. I'll let you read it.
Kid: yo i really want a nuke.
Me: have you got one before?
Kid: No, What happens when you get one?
My friend: Ok there will be a hamster on the nuke as its coming down.
Kid: ok go on.
My friend: you have to save the hamster.
Me: yea You have to save the hamster, if you save it you have it as a pet.
Kid: yo that sounds Cool! [ he was not joking. thats the sad part.]
My friend: yes but if the Hamster dies it does not count to a nuke and you lose 100 XP
Kid: so do you get anything else?
Me: yes! you get to snap peoples necks as a wepon.
Kid: I REALLY WANT TO GET A NUKE!
My friend: well you have to earn it.
Kid: will you nuke boost with me?
Me:No you have to earn it.
Kid: PLEASE! I WANT ONE!
Me: it only works if you get it yourself. The game senses when your nuke boosting
Kid: Oh ok.
My friend: ...
2: Graduel report!
Want seconds of fun? Well you need to read this... Just click this for alot of fun.
I don't know why, It amuses me.
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