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MedusaSabre

• Member since: 9/22/2009

Top 20 Chuck Norris jokes

1.Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

2.Once a cobra bit Chuch Norris' leg, After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

3.When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

4.Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"

5.If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

6.Chuck Norris never retreats. He attacks in the oppisite direction.

7.Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.

8.On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

9.When god said "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "Say please."

10.Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

11.M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

12.Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

13.Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

14.Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

15.Chuck Norris once a heart attack; his heart lost.

16.Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

17.Chuck Norris can speak braille.

18.Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris expirence.

19.Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

20.Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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