Nortonkidz

• Member since: 6/26/2008
• Gender: Male
• Yahoo: nortonkidz@sbcglobal.net
• PS3: Gta4, Little big planet

         Hey,guys. I'd like to say some things so you can get a general idea of who i am. First, i love games. The first game that i played was crash bandicut... i was 6.i've been happy(not addicted) with Games ever since. I have a ps2,DS, and a computer. I'm soon to have an Xbox live and/or Psp. sometimes i play runescape and am lv 92. i play these armor games alot to. I'm also an honor student, i wrestle,and water polo. I love to talk to people so leave a coment if you like and i'd be glad to add you to my freinds.
     {\__/}
     (~_~)
     (")-(")emo  bunny

How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently
apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth,
pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to c lose mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm
and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand, force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with
right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse
from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear
paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one
hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's
throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note
to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and
vases fr om hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible
from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with
pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take
taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with
cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force
mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink
beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek
and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek
to disinfect. Toss back anoth er shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one
from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the **** cat from across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take
last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little *******'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and
bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it.
Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency
room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill
remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to
see if they have any hamsters.

How To Giv e A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.