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BUDDER FOREVER SKYDOESMINECRAFT FTW DIE SQUIDS
my activity has gone down nowadays
im only on to check on blades/killersups destroy thread
sometimes ill check my profile
my posts are slowly going up
guys im a cat i am a cat
The Stupidest Things On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I thought it'd be cold!!)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (well you would hope)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as upossed to where)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for any other use." (I gotta admit, I'm real curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh nooooo we get real fake bacon.)
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (For the bubbly idiots!)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Genitals...? Was this happening somewhere???)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion...)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. ( i think something got lost in the translation)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a few hammers: "Caution: Do not use for inappropriate reasons. Handle cautiously." (And what would "inappropriate" be? *Runs off to throw the hammer off a roof*)
Note to self x100:
1. Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7. Note expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, um... um... ****.
25. Train army of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word "pianist".
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked woman. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38. Naked women dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked woman who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49. That way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a ****.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can also kill you.
55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57. HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 but you are an uberhacker.
61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. she is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63. disregard last note who needs a soul anyways
64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM...
66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. act like a lizard note reactions
69. Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if it's broken glass.
73. When in the presence of someone wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers into blender.
82. Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as "mortal".
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. disregard #96
99 remer 98 is blank
100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...
Copy and Paste this to your profile if you laughed at at least one of those. I know you did. =3
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the computers.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to their max
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk, anyway?”
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
20. Put M&M’s on layaway.
21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!”
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”
35. never blink keep your mouth open and never close it
36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. dress as an alien say futile human take me to your leader note reactions
41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
45. Make a trail of lime juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture and open the patio umbrella until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible “sex and candy”
52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.
60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another guy, but I thought I had won. You ****** ME darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good Bessie.”
66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. walk up to a girl who is with another boy and start flirting with her in that annoying, ditsy way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the girl shows no interest, start hitting on the boy the exact same way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).”
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don’t realize it.
70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!”
71. Hit on the elderly.
72. Hit on 5 year olds.
73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest cockroach I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.
74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that you're a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that you're a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.
77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.
78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a horse, then pretend that you're a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.
80. excessively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because your gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from Calder's, but not Wal-Mart. People who are gay are just like so rude you know. You disgust me” Then walk away mumbling to yourself.
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandpa and a 5-year-old boy all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)” “Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc.
85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having a massive seizure.
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if you're suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as your can.
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
89. Put jock straps in the lingerie department
90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.
91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around.
92.stand there at door smileing creepily all the time dont stop or anser anyone
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
94. Walk up to a woman and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, fly your head around and start screaming “NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a Zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t light the Zippo, just hold it closed.
95. Light a match under a sprinkler.
96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get my shot-gun”. Then walk away.
97. Walk up to a girl and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss her. Then slap and her say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away.
98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that you're a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”
99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?”
What to Do During an Exam
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "André, André, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a ds. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)
15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that.)
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Act spazzy
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum your favorite song. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling another song
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scan tron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
22 Things to do in School
WARNING! whatever you do Don't Click this - Don't click here! - Too late! You clicked it!
WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!
WARNING- lost kids will be sold to the circus
Warning - Please look under your vehicles for penguins.
Warning - Beware of dog. Cat is not trustworthy either.
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today...
Be honored to serve such a leader who loves us.
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ His son...
Then copy and past this on your profile.
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says...
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."
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