- Member since: 10/22/2010
- Gender: Male
- AIM: Straight Between The Eyes
- XBOX Live: zakyman5
- Wii: need to game on Live once...
Zakyman plays any sport involving a ball except lacross and other games he feels are dumb. He is Jewish, yet take that with a grain of salt because he is confused after reading this passage:
The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the universe. It feeds on brain wave energy, absorbing all unconscious frequencies and then excreting telepathically a matrix formed from the conscious frequencies and nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain, the practical upshot of which is that if you stick one in your ear, you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language: the speech you hear decodes the brain wave matrix. It is a universal translator which simultaneously translates from one spoken language to another. It takes the brainwaves of the other body and what they are thinking then transmits the thoughts to the speech centres of the host's brain, the speech heard by the ear decodes the brainwave matrix. When inserted into the ear, its nutrition processes convert unconscious sound waves into conscious brain waves, neatly crossing the language divide between any species.
The book points out that the Babel fish could not possibly have developed naturally, and therefore both proves and disproves the existence of God: Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could evolve purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing". "But," says man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It proves you exist and so therefore you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. "Oh, that was easy," says man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white, and gets killed on the next zebra crossing (that is also his opinion of mankind).
He also thinks that Douglas Adams is one of the best authors ever and will miss waiting for his books. Zakyman wants to be a lawyer someday, and apologizes for any interjection of scholarly and/or legal language of any kind, either in written form or verbally. Should you wish to make a complaint, please leave your name, your complaint, and various sources where I can find your basis for the complaint otherwise it would be disregarded. If you would prefer to not continue taking action against me, please follow all rules and procedures in the Constitution, the State of Ohio, and whatever state/country that you come from. Legal filings cost USD50, however, the hopes of me collecting any money is slim. Should you want legal advice, I charge 300 cybercookies/hour, as I received a law degree from phoneybalony.com :P
Read this out loud:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the start.
Put this on your page if you like it
We are given two ears and one mouth so we may listen more, and speak less.
In other words, SHUT IT!
That is my view of humanity in a nutshell. Almost as cynical as Ford Prefect. I am also fantastic at stirring up controversy :P
I am currently accepting ideas for my Questions from a(n) X Jew thread on my wall. Please post.
¡ʇı ǝʞıן noʎ ɟı ǝןıɟoɹd ɹnoʎ uı sıɥʇ ʇsod
¡ɹoʇıuoɯ ɹnoʎ ɟo ʇuoɹɟ ǝɥʇ uı pǝpɹɐʇǝɹ ʞooן noʎ uǝɥʇ 'sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ ǝןqɐ ǝɹɐ noʎ ɟı
Je parle francais un peu. Si vous parlez francais, post sur mes commentaires et nous pouvons dialoguer. Au Revoir!
You get one clue to guess where I live:
Post in my messenger if you think you know
I is a Jew :D
(All credit for these goes to master565)
I will be gone for a few weeks, as I am traveling internationally. Have fun (but not too much fun) while I'm gone!
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