Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Zakyman's Poetry (Take Two)
7 | 4261 |
7 | 4261 |
Alright, I had a thread here, which I didn't maintain because school and other things like sports stole all my inspiration to write. But, I'm back again! With more poems! I'm gonna post them here, and I'd like constructive feedback on them. Be warned, most of my poems are emotional (and somewhat) depressing, and offer an insight to my mind when I am at my worst.
Thanks for listening to that little tirade above, and let us begin!
Choo Choo
by ~zakyman
Writing
Words
Communication
Talking
Issues
Magazine
Sports
Winning
Olympics
Gold
Valuable
Expensive
Money
Green
Paint
Messy
Chili
Winter
Skiing
Wipeout
Surfing
USA
Patriotic
What happens when you go on the thought train?
This one I wrote when I was trying to just stream-of-consciousness write. Any thoughts? More to be uploaded tomorrow.
>.<
and this kids, is why we should be more careful before posting online. before all the comments start flowing in, yes, i know that this is in the wrong section. i am getting it moved asap.
That's pretty good actually. I started laughing while reading it. It's realistic in the fact that thought trains actually work like that.
Alright folks, now we get to the more emotional stuff.
A Shell
by ~zakyman
How does one continue
Carrying on their daily business
When they are eaten from the inside?
How does one
Cope with loss
After that which they care for is gone?
The answer my friends,
Lies at the beach,
In the pretty soft sand.
The shell embodies all sorrow.
Perfectly whole on the outside
With pretty colors and patters
To delight the eye.
However the inside,
Is cold and empty.
Nothing remains.
When one experiences profound sorrow,
They become the shell on the beach.
Hardly functioning in every day life.
A pretty picture with demonic paints.
So how does one continue
Carrying on their daily business
When they are eaten from the inside?
They become the shell.
This one I wrote when I was not exactly cheerful for a long period of time, and I was embodying my own experiences into this poem.
The Last Time
by ~zakyman
There was always one last year,
One last month,
One last week,
One last day,
One last hour,
One last minute.
But now it's gone.
We take it for granted,
And never realize its true value.
Until it is gone.
We never use it.
Too many of us kill it.
And we can never bring it back to life.
Anything for another minute,
Another hour,
Another day,
Another week,
Another month,
Another year.
But you cannot rewind the clock.
The clock has run out.
It has ticked its last tock.
There is no more time,
Except to say goodbye.
This one I wrote before my girlfriend left for camp for 4 weeks. Needless to say, I was not exactly what you would call "happy" about that.
Tears
by ~zakyman
Tears are for wimps.
You can't make it here?
Cry.
You're feeling down?
Cry.
Something upset you?
Cry.
Something happen that wants to make you just scream to the heavens and rip the world up by its roots and destroy all life?
Cry.
But remember.
Tears are for wimps.
Being depressed sucks
I Don't Understand
~zakyman
Why?
Why do you put up with me?
I cry and kick and scream.
I curse,
I moan,
I throw things.
Yet you're still here,
Standing beside me,
With a hug and kiss and comforting word whenever I need it.
Why?
Ok, so I might be a little depressed right now, but I still don't understand.
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