The poem is fine, I just feel like it could have more of an ending and more resolution to it. Plus there is no real drive in the poem that compels you to connect with the emotions or story of the poem. I have no problem with the poem and I think it is good, but that is my input. I don't really want to sound like a jerk through so please don't take this like I hate it and think you stink.
I can see you're new to the AMW forum. A word of advice from an old hand: don't make multiple threads for your poetry, just keep poetry and shorter works in one, all encompassing thread. Any long work is best to have a seperate thread.
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