LAST CHANCES
A day before my thirteenth,
was my last chance as a child.
The time my dad told me,
It was my last chance to be wild.Goodbye to my only past love,
The last time we spoke.
Goodnight to our memories,
Sweet dreams I hope.
Graduation my dear friends,
The last time we talk
Till we meet in time,
Or even when death may knock
A chance will always be,
This time is the last chance apparently.
But mods, are gods nothing they can't be,
This is not the last chance to be Legendary.
This feels a bit disjointed, but it gets clearer on each subsequent read through. There could be a stronger connection between the stanzas or better transitions in addition to the passage of time and the overarching theme amongst the stanzas.
Remember when the clouds broke down,
And the storms clamoured for terror,
And it was then, at dawn,
That their tears began to tarry.Then you struck, again,
Gave their last hopes one last final blow,
And as the heavens were godsent,
You were the Devil, incarnate.
But the city of tears was red with ribbons,
Red with the bones of the votive offerings
Of a thousand lives and a thousand more sons,
And you stood tall and omniscient and gait-fully living.
But the gods cried and the monsters wept,
For you, for us, for the dead and the still-living,
And the city wailed with half-dead voices that crept
Under your bed at night, but you heard nothing;
And the city knew, and the city feared,
And the city burned in the black fires of your mind,
And though cities can't die, this one did,
And with it came grieving,
And with it went hope, and forgiveness, and you,
For your last dance on earth,
Was your Last Chance at all,
And you blew it away,
And you destroyed the City of Second Chances.
Some people can't or won't change. I like the imagery and symbolism here and how the rhythm complements the content.
Tears run down my face,
I cannot find what I cannot replace,
Not even a trace,
Now there's no one left for me to embrace,
I remain in the same place,
Never again to see your face.I wish I had one last chance to tell you.
Love
Over hard times will never fade,
Vastly assuring great aid,
Enduring throughout the roughest of terrains.
You will always hold a place near and dear to my heart,
Obstacles will come, but we will never part,
Undoubtedly, you are an incredible, irreplaceable work of art.
Everybody wants one more chance to say what it is that they want to say. I like how the last three stanzas start with the same words as the acrostic, but several of these lines feel forced to fit the acrostic, like line 10.
Let enemies come
Bring me a shotgun
Here comes the sun
I shoot them bum bumAnd the Apocalpse has begun
After hunderd of enemies dead
Boss was aproching with a railgun
He telled me Now you are dead!!
i need to go ammory
he attacked me with fury
i dodged his all his actions
And he took a arrow to his knee!!!
I think this poem feels less like last chance than the others. While I like that it doesn't use any of the words from the theme, this doesn't strike me as a last chance. This may be the final apocalyptic showdown, but I don't get that sense that's it's winner takes all. With the rhyme scheme it's more upbeat and jokey.
My last chance i throw
Into the jaws of tomorrow
It can wait another dayI run around, scared
Left unprepared
The time has just run away.
I take one last look,
at that poor empty hook
why couldn't you just stay?
The black box you're in
couldn't save you back then
while fire burned all around
You needed a break
so a plane you did take
and you left us without a sound
I'm not clear on what the last chance for this is for. Was it time with whomever died? The transitions are murky and I don't know how much, if any, time passes between stanzas, but the thoughts of regreat are there.
Though I was able through all the past year
I used up my chances, wasted my tears
I gave up the right to speak and to write
And instead used my time to bicker and fight.Now all I'm left with are bruises and scars
The ghost of my passion has gone to the stars
For this new year I can only hope for the best,
Yet I know deep down, I'll waste it same as the rest.
This is very general in covering the idea of some sort of loss. It tells the reader that things happened, but it doesn't show them what happened.
Two Week left
Time I haveSeven Red X’s at a glace
One week to go
Time aplenty still.
Five more days
That’s not bad
I rather play
Three More days Now
I Don’t want to think about it
Hey that looks interesting
Two More days
Think of it as 48 hours or 2880 minute
But, Later I say
One Day
I feel ill
Thirteen Red X’s haunts my dream
8 Hours or 480 minutes
Better think of it as 28,800 seconds instead.
Oh, Who is calling me?
3 Hour, 180 minute, 10,800 second
I feel my stomach rolls
My hand shakes
Pules racing, heart pounding.
Better start now
Every Second Needed
Tick Tock, Tick Tock
Last Chance
I like the passage of time here and the procrastination aspect of the poem. It's something that goes through everybody's head with deadlines weeks away. There's always still time until there isn't. And I suppose it helps that this was the last entry submitted.
Lonely hopes fill the
Empty chasms of ice and
Chances but one last.
But one last what? The grammar here changes the meaning of these three lines. Is it a finality where one does not finish the sentence at all, perhaps by jumping into the chasm? or is the word here lasts? Is there one lingering hope as there always is at the bottom of a chamber of despair like Pandora's box?
I gave you a chance
but you threw it in my face
Now all trust is gone
This entry tells instead of shows. I'm not sure it's possible to build more beyond what we have been told.
What have we done here,
The path we were on was clear,
Now there's no last chance.
This tells more than it shows. This requires some understanding of the situation, but it's impossible to guess at what happened.
Fifty two weeks close,
Fifty one weeks done and gone,
Using this last chance.
Procrastination is a wonderful thing that forces your hand. I think this could be tighter with a different first line or a different second line. As is, it seems redundant.
First place for the general poetry contest goes to @AHomoSapien for "Two Week left".
First place for the haiku contest goes to @SirLegendary for "Fifty two weeks close,".
Congratulations! You should get a merit within the hour and a shiny new quest if you do not already have one.
The current theme is already under way and you can find it in the title along with the due date.There is just under two weeks of time left to submit to the current round.
