Forums

ForumsArt, Music, and Writing

For Once In This World of Blue

Posted Jan 2, '14 at 5:16pm

webs168

webs168

5 posts

For once in this world of blue
I've found a color thats bright and new
With warming quality and a crystalline gleam
I've been shamed by the people and shunned by the queen
I've found myself a new color of which i call black
For once in this world of blue
I found something new
I found darkness
In this world of blue


What do you think 'This world of blue is'?

 

Posted Jan 2, '14 at 7:14pm

IceClaw247

IceClaw247

869 posts

I really like it, you've got your meters right and consistent, it's well structured building to the longest line in the middle with a faster pace as the poem draws to the end. The only thing I think can be done to improve it is maybe you could use enjambment on the penultimate line?

 
Reply to For Once In This World of Blue

You must be logged in to post a reply!