But the thread, growing larger from users so robust, was never lonely
Those single posts, as if their souls in each word they did pour,
Nothing further did they stutter - not a phrasing did they clutter -
Till I scarcely more than muttered 'what words shall it bore'
On the morrow they will leave here, hatred for the words it bore'
Then the bird said, "Nevermore"
Startled by the muses of the users in a thread awoken,
"Doubtless", said I, "what they mutter could only amount to a bore"
Caught from some unhappy chatter which escalated faster
Followed much and followed more til his fun one burden wore Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
of "Never-Nevermore"
I fail to see how it doesn't flow with the rhyme scheme?
You can't have a 14-syllable first line (or 15, if you count "wondering" as a 3-syllable word) and a 7-syllable second line and expect the rhyme not to sound awkward and abrupt.
You can't have a 14-syllable first line (or 15, if you count "wondering" as a 3-syllable word) and a 7-syllable second line and expect the rhyme not to sound awkward and abrupt.
The poem has been altered, but I still feel the second of the two lines would flow better with the first of the two, as well as those preceding it, if eight syllables were added before the bird part.
On the morrow they will leave here, hatred for the words it bore' Then the bird said, "Nevermore"
Just to illustrate how it would read if those eight additional syllables were added, I added the eight syllables from the first of the two lines above to the second line.
On the morrow they will leave here, hatred for the words it bore' On the morrow they will leave here, Then the bird said, "Nevermore"
Which one do you all think flows better and makes more sense with the rhyme scheme and meter?
I don't care much for how he wrote that part of the poem, but it makes more sense the way he did it, as it's clear he was creating a pattern with the other stanzas. Still, the flow seems off in Edgar's as well when read altogether, even if it is a great literary work and the rest of the poem flows flawlessly.
