About a week ago I had sex with another woman and went behind my girlfriends back. I was upset that I never got to see her and this girl that I meet that week lives around me.
So I thought to myself, **** it. I'm going to break up with my girlfriend and date this new girl so I can be stress free, sexually satisfied, and not worry about having a girlfriend who lives far away from me. So we ****ed and said I was going to break up with my girlfriend. I almost did. But there was something in the back of my head saying to stay with her. So I did.
The girl I was seeing then got very upset and told everyone that she could including my girlfriend.
I'm wondering if anyone on this website can help work with me and find out why I keep hurting everyone that I am in a relationship with. I am 16 years old in high school.
I really try to be the nicest and sweetest person that anyone knows and even after this event I will be. I just can't fight off lust or desire.
Also if anyone wants to tell me about them cheating and what they have done to help stop or how they fixed things with people that would be great. I just want to let everyone know that I do not judge or subjugate anyone opinions or comments. Thank you.
(Sorry, I can't use Disqus or the report button from my 2DS) For the mod reading this, see above. That's not appropriate, right? If it is appropriate, just get rid of this.
If it happens multiple times, you might want to just sit down with an adult and talk it through. Parents, teachers, etc. Talk to your school counsellor if need be. The good thing is that you know you need to change.
Though as Phil said, the site is PG 13, so most of the users would not be very well suited to advise you. Best to get advise elsewhere. Appropriate or not, well most of them are teens and it seems a fairly common occurrence, I doubt people will get squeamish.
@jabello11 I don't know how to help you out, but I think it's better for you not to commit yourself in a relationship or go through one for now, if you will just hurt a person. You can change if you want to be a better person you want to be
--as Phil and Nichodemus said this site is PG 13, but I hope my comment for you is okay. =)
I'm going to break up with my girlfriend and date this new girl so I can be stress free, sexually satisfied, and not worry about having a girlfriend who lives far away from me.
I am 16 years old in high school.
If you were in your 20's my response would be far different, but you are young. Really young. Worries of being unsatisfied sexually should be far from a major priority. Hell, at that age simple masturbation should do the trick perfectly.
You are 16, don't worry about relationships. Worry about school.
Lastly, long distance relationships hardly work out.
Due to your age, it doesn't look like your situation is being taken very seriously, which is a shame. I know if I had been here when I was 16 and someone had told me I was too young to worry about relationships, my self-esteem would have taken a nosedive at the least.
I really try to be the nicest and sweetest person that anyone knows and even after this event I will be. I just can't fight off lust or desire.
If you can fulfill these desires of lust without hurting anyone, that's what you want to aim for. However, you would probably want to avoid relationships--especially long distance ones--if it's lustful desires you seek. There's no reason for you to be in one if you don't care about the person you're with. Even if she is filthy rich.
I'm going to break up with my girlfriend and date this new girl so I can be stress free, sexually satisfied, and not worry about having a girlfriend who lives far away from me.
Given your situation, you should break up with her, but you should do it so you don't continue to hurt her. There's no reason for you two to be together if you want to be with other girls, so she at least deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her and only her.
I was in a long distance relationship in my senior year of high school, and everything about it was so boring that I did have thoughts about cheating on her just so I would have an excuse to end things with her. It never happened because I had crooked teeth and skin that looked like a King Arthur Supreme, but I did end things with her anyway because I didn't want to lead her on to believe that whatever it is we had--and I still don't know what that was--had potential to last any longer.
But not all long distance relationships turn out this way. I've been in a relationship for over 6 months now that started out long distance, and I wouldn't cheat on her if my life depended on it.
Relationships are ideally mutually beneficial arrangements, and you can interpret that however you choose to. It doesn't sound like anybody is getting anything out of the relationship you're in, and what you did to her is so unforgivable in most relationships that I'm astounded that she hasn't already broken up with you, so I would suggest you end this arrangement with this girlfriend of yours, learn from this experience, and stray away from committed relationships until you truly feel ready that you can commit to one person.
My first piece of advice to you buddy is that, you only think you hurt everyone, but it was always your choice to cheat. I've been there. Second of all, you need some time of and you need to cool it off with everyone you've hurt. After a while, stand up, be a man and apologize, even if they don't forgive you, apologize. After all, you are at fault. Just being frank.
I understand where you are coming from Terry. I was in a relationship at 16. An extremely long and serious one, at that. Looking back it was a huge mistake. Sure being in a relationship at 16 is fine, but being in a serious one? Just don't. It isn't worth it by any means.
Let's be honest..the chances of your high school relationship working out to the end is slim to none.mand that's being generous. You two will eventually break up and move on. I know it sucks to hear..and it sure sucks when it happens, but that is part of growing up.
Sure being in a relationship at 16 is fine, but being in a serious one? Just don't. It isn't worth it by any means.
Of course. Life is a long game, why use up all the good moves in the first 20 years? Plenty of time to get serious with a girl.
Worries of being unsatisfied sexually should be far from a major priority. Hell, at that age simple masturbation should do the trick perfectly.
As I remember back, being 15-16 was pretty rough at times, but you shouldn't ever cheat on your girlfriend just to stay satisfied. It gets bad at times, but it shouldn't drive you to such a point. It shouldn't be THAT out of control.
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I would definitely reconsider becoming involved in serious relationships at this point in your life. Obviously you have come to the hard realization that Sex is definitely not worth all the heartache and pain that has been caused, so you're definitely moving in the right direction.
I just can't fight off lust or desire.
Tenacity is definitely a useful trait to develop at that point in life. I found it quite helpful in this case. Don't worry, if you can fight it off for a couple more years, it gets easier (like a million times easier.)
The girl I was seeing then got very upset and told everyone that she could including my girlfriend.
Cheating is no bueno man, it causes problems with trust for years, it hurts people, sometimes leaving scars that people nurse their entire lives. It's not worth it just for sex. I would apologize for cheating, break up, and withhold from further relationships until you can handle your sexual desires better. It's not going to salvage your girlfriend, but in the long run it will pay off big time. Like pang said, it's not what you want to hear, but it's part of growing up.
