Ladies and gentlemen, lads and lassies, it’s time for:
COLONEL KNIGHT RIDER’S
ST. ANDREW’S DAY SMASH!
Normally, I’m as American as baseball and apple pie, but, once every November 30, I observe the British imperial bank holiday that is St. Andrew’s Day, which encompasses everything there is to know about my Scottish ancestry. And I’m happy to be of Scottish ancestry because, if you think about it, we are one bad@*$ race of Europeans. We’ve even got a flower that can cut an Englishman’s throat (the thistle)!
The idea began in 2007, when I became aware that St. Patrick’s Day vastly overshadows St. Andrew’s day as much as the number of Americans of Irish origin drastically outweighs the number of Americans of Scottish origin. You know, the fewer of a certain demographic there is in the States, the less likely a holiday related to that demographic will be celebrated. I’m not Catholic, but I don’t see any reason why we can’t add one more holiday to America’s cosmopolitan calendar.
To begin our party, everyone please rise for what I think should be the national anthem of Scotland (with lyrics, performed by Robert Wilson): “Scotland the Brave”
I know the majority of voters disagrees with me as to what the anthem should be, but this is the song I almost always hear as a stereotypical “bagpipe” melody.
To go with it, I’ve got a painting of St. Andy himself:
Next, treat yourselves to this traditional buffet: