ForumsThe TavernEliminate Vegetables and Initiate Liberty!

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aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

My dearest comrades,

Look out upon this world of ours and realize as I have realized that we live in an endless salad buffet of lies! I too have been tempted by the siren song of spinach, the enticing eggplant, the alluring avocado. But be tempted no longer! Consider the noble rabbit: once a ferocious predator feared by even mightiest lion, now it must scavenge suburban lettuce like a strung out garden junkie. The cow, the deer, the antelope; all have fallen from greatness into the compost heaps of history.

For now, thanks to our diet supplemented by such nourishment as coca-cola, bologna, and American "cheese", we have been spared our herbivorous doom. BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER??! Even as I type these words, children around the world are being forced to consume broccoli. Mere children! I realize that this might be shocking to some, but the truth must be known. I have seen the root of all evil and it is a radish.

AND SO. I propose we form a league of like minded peoples in order to fight back against the tyranny of turnips! Join me, if you carrot all! Lettuce shed our leafy shackles! Beet down the oppressors! Toss the salad of evil back into the fires of hell from whence it came!

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