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Sonnet #18 (Shakespeare) Parody/Originality Contest

Hello, here is a contest where all you have to do is write up a parody of William Shakespeare's Sonnet #18. There are about 154 sonnets written by Shakespeare, and this one is arguably the most popular out of all of them.

There will be no theme as of now, and works will be judged on rhyming patterns, and syllable count, leaving out iambic pentameter (due to it's difficulty and restrictions.) The works will also be judged on it's originality, it can be comedic or as serious and dramatic as you want.

Should the contest be successful, there may or may not be another round.

Sonnet #18

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Parody Example

Shall I compare thee to a bale of hay?
Thou art more dusty and far less neat.
Rough winds do toss thy mop about, I'd say,
Which looks far worse than hay a horse would eat.
Sometime thy squinty eye looks into mine
Through stringy, greasy hair that needs be trimm'd,
And ne'er a horse had such a stench as thine,
As though in stagnant sewers thou hast swimm'd.
Thy disgusting image shall not fade;
This my tortured mind and soul doth know.
O, I should love to hit thee with a spade;
And with that blow I hope that thou wouldst go.
So long as I can breathe, my eyes can see,
And I can run, I'll stay away from thee...

Parody Template

Shall_________________________? -
Thou art more_____________________:
Rough winds ________________________,
And _______________________________:
Sometime too _______________________,
And often is_______________ dimm'd;
And every _____________ sometime declines,
By __________________________, untrimm'd;
But thy _______________ shall not fade
Nor ___________________ thou ow'st;
Nor____________________________,
When ___________________ thou grow'st;
So long _______________ or ________________,
So long ___________, and _____________ to thee.

Note: You need not follow the template exactly, and you may alter some things as much as you want, but try not to stray too far from the Sonnet.

Rules and Closing Date:

- You may post as many entries as you want.
- You may not use inappropriate words.
- You may not plagiarize (I will know. I will check. You will be punished accordingly.)
- Follow general forum rules.
- CLOSING DATE: April 30th 2015 which is more than enough time to write at least one entry.
- Winner will be announced soon after and cannot be negotiated.

Winner's Prize

The winner will receive a 30 Day Membership in AFG+.
I have spoken to Ferret about it, and I believe the prize is set for claim.

Of course, special thanks to @Ferret for the gifting the prize!

Good luck to all participants