You're banned becuase the stories I tell the children I have to babysit are about 'Jacob the Worm" who is a very strange wormy dude that gets eaten by dogs, eats poop, and dies a lot.
You're banned because mine isn't a book, it's composed off the top of my brain about the kid they don't like down the street. (It's either tell that or be sat on by a hundred pounds of giggly six-year-old twins.)