I can't ever eat toast outside of the comfort of my own home, and not because I don't think others have the capacity to make a decent slice of toasted bread (some of them actually can), but because everytime I ask for the toppings for my toast, I'm asked the same asinine question: "jam or jelly?"
What angers me, first off, is that people have the audacity to think there is even a decision to be made. We all know what I'm going to pick, I'm a regular human being, why WOULDN'T I pick Jelly? It's the only clear choice. It's like if someone was going to make you steak and then before giving it to you asked if you wanted steak sauce or the water from your toilet.
Second off, why would I even CONSIDER jam? Do you know where jam is most commonly found? That's right, in printers. Printers have ink, and quite an abundance of it, too. For those of you that haven't tasted ink, it isn't that good. Especially the yellow.
Thirdly, just say the freaking words. Jelly. It's so elegant and smooth, like jelly. Just saying it gives me the giggles and makes me feel better about life in general, it's just that good. But then...jam. I can't help but imagine some 7 and a half foot tall amazonian-esque neanderthal struggling to plop this mess of a word out and then whacking itself on the head each time they manage to get it out. Jam.
So for those of you that are sad enough to ask for jam on your toast, I hope you enjoy your after-work commute home in traffic. I'll be over here in the express lane enjoying my jelly.
I might be crazy for saying this, but you're right, pang. Jelly is the supreme overlord and jelly should be nonexistent. Anyone seen with even a smear of jam needs to be killed on sight.
Second off, why would I even CONSIDER jam? Do you know where jam is most commonly found? That's right, in printers.
And radar dishes. Radar interference has been the most common application of jams since the beginning of the Cold War, when it superceded red pepper chutney as the United States' tool of choice for interrupting Soviet radar signals across the Bering Sea.
Even as a byproduct of modern printers, I normally choose jam over jelly. Raspberry printer ink makes a fine topping for toast.
I need a mod
I like my sandwiches and toast with chunky toppings. It has to be jam.
And let me guess you like tarter sauce on your eggs???
And radar dishes. Radar interference has been the most common application of jams since the beginning of the Cold War, when it superceded red pepper chutney as the United States' tool of choice for interrupting Soviet radar signals across the Bering Sea.
Look at that jam is being destructive towards the wonder that is radar technology SUCH A SHAME
Why has no one mentioned preserves yet? Fruit preserves are better than either jam or jelly because preserves contain big chunks of fruit in them. Jam has only tiny little chunks and jelly is like solidified Punch. Fruit preserves may not spread as easily but they definitely taste better.
When I eat toast, I put jelly on it, but not fruit jelly. I prefer honey, or as it's more commonly referred to, "bee jelly". I prefer bee jelly because I don't like the crunchy little bits of bee that come with bee jam.
honestly? on a toast id like peanut butter... i mostly dont like jelly OR jam (not that im really sure what the difference between them is...) like... jam has fruit chunks in it or something? idk
The difference is that jelly is made from the juice of the fruit, while jam is made from crushed fruit.
I love them all - jam, jelly, and preserves. We always have ~5lbs of peanut butter and several jars of each variety in our kitchen.
It's like if someone was going to make you steak and then before giving it to you asked if you wanted steak sauce or the water from your toilet.
Blasphemy! Tainting steak with any sort of steak sauce after it's been finely cooked only makes the steak taste like the sauce. You have to eat steak in its purest, untainted form! Marinating the steak before cooking it should give enough mouth-watering flavor.
The difference is that jelly is made from the juice of the fruit, while jam is made from crushed fruit.
Thank you. That clarifies things.
I've never even tried it with jelly. I didn't even know it was a thing...
Jam can be good when it is homemade. The jam that is sold in supermarkets and such sucks in my humble opinion. Too many large fruit bits, not good enough taste.
When I eat toast, I put jelly on it, but not fruit jelly. I prefer honey, or as it's more commonly referred to, "bee jelly". I prefer bee jelly because I don't like the crunchy little bits of bee that come with bee jam
You are a good man, I hope your jelly stays soft and juicy.
You have to eat steak in its purest, untainted form! Marinating the steak before cooking it should give enough mouth-watering flavor.
Yeah says the guy who looks like he goes and wrestles bears just to say he beat that particular bear up.
And let me guess you like tarter sauce on your eggs???
Heavens no. Tarter sauce is for fish. What do I look like, some kind of lunatic?
Personally, I'm not a big fan of sweet things on toast or bread. They don't lend themselves well to constructing more complex fillings like savoury ones do. The best sandwich spread is, of course, Marmite. Branston Pickle is a close second.
