Forums → Games → Help me find this game! (General thread)

Looking through this board, I see a lot of people opening up threads to search for old games, which are abandoned thereafter. So I'm just gonna be so bold and suggest to use this as a general thread, which is inevitably going to fail because people will ignore it and create their own thread, anyways. But I can dream, right?

So, if you vaguely recall an old flash game you've played on Armor Games before but can't find anymore, write down what you remember about it here, and we will summon the Armor Games hive mind to help you out! ... if we can.

That said, I already have two games that I am looking for.
The first one was a rather short game with simple graphics. Basically, you played a little girl on her birthday, who lives in a small village and has to trade cards with the other villagers. There may have been a small minigame involving the cards, so you maybe had to win them instead, I am not sure. Anyways, as soon as you had all the cards there were, you went back home and that was it. Short, simple, easy.
That is unless you explored the village more thorougly, in which case you could leave the village and find out that it was in the middle of nowhere in what looks like an abandoned government facility. There was also some dialogue throughout the ( "main" ) game that hinted toward something like that, I think.

In the other game, you had to defend your castle on the left of the screen from enemies that were coming from the right. It had a medieval feel, but what I mainly remember was the music that looped over and over and had really strange lyrics. I remember them being something like "I am the king and I have a horse; I also have a car but I can not drive" and "I'm not a very good neighbour". The rest of the game was about as wacky, if I remember correctly.

Anyone who can help me find one or both of these games can have my first-born child.