I sat. The breeze of my outer world surrounded me, filled my lungs
I sat on the water's edge on a rock where fish had died of this world's air
I sat not looking not hearing not tasting or smelling not feeling or even thinking
but I sat looking hearing tasting and smelling feeling and thinking
not through me, but through the world.
Lies
You pushed me down deep slammed my face into a box locked it up tight I could not see you; you could see me. you could see the exit quite clearly. I could not. I searched for a hole, a single ray of light I found none. Was there an exit? Was there a key? Yes. You had it. Only you could open the box; only you knew the truth.
Perfect is not enough
I live in a cut and paste world. I say, "I hate this nose! Throw it away!" "These eyes! They are not lavender like hers." "this eyebrow is too short!" "These lips? Too fat!" They cut and paste till perfection, but still, perfection is not enough.
untitled
I am only what you eyes perceive I am only what you make of me. You see my eyes, my face, but you don't see me. I am that first flower bud I am that last snow the waves of wind in the trees and the Snow Lion's dark eyes. However, your eyes will never see behind that curtain. Your eyes will never see me.
So.... you like?! post comments and criticism. If you think I plagiarized... I did not. Check if you must but I will cry with happiness because I know that this is the highest honor a author can resieve. Thank you all so much for reading.
Well they are okay for free verse poems such as these. "Perfect is not enough," in my opinion was the best one because it really speaks the truth, but I think alot more could be added to it. Maybe perfecting your phsycological opinions isn't enough. Actually, that could just be a whole new poem. "Faking is lying in disguise," or something like that.
I'm gonna have to agree with ESTEL. They were decent, but they could be just that much better if they were longer and deeper. Ecspecially "erfect is not enough". definatly neeeds more.
You're starting to write by showing not telling, but the treatment isn't entirely consistent just yet- lapsing into more prosaic, explanatory segments rather than exploratory images. But it's getting somewhere- just sometimes, less really is more.
This poetry leans towards the modernist movement of the early to mid 20th century...check out T.S. Eliot in particular, for example, The Love Song of J. Albert Prufrock.