Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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That's okay, it was hypothetical. I have no ideas for this current theme of fragility.
Choices:
A kindom of glass,
Each has his own,
The proof of his life,
His existence alone.
Building for years,
Until he dies,
The choices he makes,
will choose his demise.
His kingdom is grand,
But built on the ground,
Just a little mistake,
Can bring it all down.
His choices define him,
Can give him a thrown,
Can make him a king,
Or leave him alone.
His choices, they make him,
Create him, to say,
He'll choose to be strong,
Or watch his thrown fade.
The Constellation:
Clear lines hold the morning's dew,
Creating small worlds of water.
Constellations aloft in the air.
Something flutters,
It's last energy,
The worlds shake, and plummet to Earth.
It's silvery wings tear the strings that hold it hostage,
Something glides across the net.
It's 8 legs gently carrying it to it's catch,
As not to disturb it's art.
The spider bites,
And enjoys it's first meal of the day,
Floating,
High in the trees,
With birds darting extremely close.
I'm entering for the first time.
Glass
At first glance, it seems quite strong
as if it could not be wrong.
But then a crack
from a a ball and a bat
would prove that theory wrong.
Though it's thick as a brick,
it's not quite that strong
as a foot or a stick
could break through it.
but despite this small issue,
its just stronger than a tissue,
it still somehow keeps us all safe.
The human mind:
so simply defined,
Is a choice that you make
Was it a mistake?
Wondering what was
What could have been
What small flames of light
Were snuffed out between
The fingers of fate,
In their fragile state.
One little thing;
(A butterfly's wing)
And never could we exist
We would be gone
The world a chess board
The pieces withdrawn
No future played out
A world without
Humanity
We would never be
@ waluigi
One thing that ever consumes the writing art of others is rhyming. Poetry equals not rhyming, I say this to you because expressing yourself free of rhymes lets your mind and influence run through your words and poetry. Rhyming limits this freedom by limiting you to words that only correspond to words you wish to rhyme. You did indeed rhyme well, and the Fragility theme is awesomely shown, I just think that poem is flat, or an ordinary. It doesn't stand out and has no originality to me. But I'm just one person whose opinion means very little, but I just want you to hone your skills without the lavish use of rhymes.
@ Thyll
Your poem jumps around and doesn't focus on any one point. I see the display of the theme, but I don't understand if the people are snuffing out themselves or there is the possibility of snuffing ourselves out at a whim. (And the butterfly wing is just to emphasize Fragility?) Just to keep it simple: A little too vague.
my heart's polymer
baked in her warmth-
Shattered once in the cold
Poetry equals not rhyming, I say this to you because expressing yourself free of rhymes lets your mind and influence run through your words and poetry. Rhyming limits this freedom by limiting you to words that only correspond to words you wish to rhyme.
First of all, did these two ask for you to critique their poems? I personally think both of their poems are fairly good.
Secondly, rhyming actually doesn't limit poetry writing, it opens up another door in which to see a broader spectrum. It's much easier to write a poem without rhyming then it is with rhyming.
And the butterfly wing is just to emphasize Fragility?
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect[/url]
First of all, did these two ask for you to critique their poems? I personally think both of their poems are fairly good.
Secondly, rhyming actually doesn't limit poetry writing, it opens up another door in which to see a broader spectrum. It's much easier to write a poem without rhyming then it is with rhyming.
I understand our opinions are different. But why so hostile? Rhetorical question.
And if I was critisizing his work I would be censuring or judging his work. I was just stating my opinion of his work, and what I think he should do with it. And if he doesn't want to hear my opinions, let him say so, and not have others speak for him. And I am glad you like his work, I like it too, I never said I didn't like his work.
Oh, ok, I didn't think it linked to the butterfly effect. (realization aqquired)
I understand our opinions are different. But why so hostile? Rhetorical question.
Why rhetorical? I am going to answer why I made such a blunt statement
(First of all, did these two ask for you to critique their poems?<--- I don't consider this question to be hostile)
I answered bluntness with bluntness ... your critique was blunt and harsh and my statement back to you was the same. Don't dish criticism out if you can't take it yourself. Fair enough?
NEW POETRY JUDGE
Ok everyone, we have a new poetry judge. <drum roll>
Moabarmorgamer (otherwise known as Moat) will be our new poetry judge starting on Tuesday, Novemebr 3rd.
I would like to wish him good luck and all the best!
I answered bluntness with bluntness ... your critique was blunt and harsh and my statement back to you was the same. Don't dish criticism out if you can't take it yourself. Fair enough?
You are opposing my opinion right? That is part of the definition of hostile, is it not? And I can take criticism, you don't know half of it, but OK, I'm not one to argue, so if you think then it was harsh, fair enough, if they think it was harsh, I meant not of it.
NEW POETRY JUDGE
Ok everyone, we have a new poetry judge. <drum roll>
Moabarmorgamer (otherwise known as Moat) will be our new poetry judge starting on Tuesday, Novemebr 3rd.
I would like to wish him good luck and all the best!
Das beste von Glück. (:
You are opposing my opinion right? That is part of the definition of hostile, is it not?
No. Differing opinions is NOT the definition of hostile, nor part of. If I wished you ill will in my statement that would be considered hostile. However, no ill will was stated nor implied.
Let's get back to poetry, shall we?
Thread is locked!