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3868 | 3766116 |
First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Even though I posted late, I am VERY anxious to see who wins.
Apparently, I have no patience in waiting for results of contests. :P
Since Moat still hasn't shown up, I'm taking on an emergency judging for him. Am I authorized to do so? I think so: I've emergency judged for Moat before, it has been a long time since judging was due, I was a former judge for a while, and I am unable to win since I won last time's poetry contest. So, without further ado, let's take a look at our runner-ups! Since the theme is humanity, instead of taking home metallic medals you'll be taking home some famous figures...move over Oscar!
EnterOrion--William Blake
Humanizing flow is where it begins,
Shortly after failing it starts to spin.
Yellow eyes and demon tongues,
Politicians kill each other without the guns.
Mastering spite and killing love,
Over the edge we continue to shove.
Hacking with axes and smashing with death,
We continue to choke our final breath.
The beginnings of hate are always there,
Grinning with pity it will always stare.
Listing the ways which we shall die,
Death lets out a condemning sigh.
Creating our dooms, we shall live,
Life of death, we will give.
Smashing our lies, filling with truth,
All who will die are humanity's youth.
All is lost, or so it seems,
But love and caring beings to gleam.
A final ray of hope not lost,
We will live through, but at what cost?
The roots are there, we must care,
We must work together, for life we spare.
The showings are here, formed of insanity,
Showing through is our humanity.
oh, the drama, oh the fuss
what shall we throw, under the bus?
pretentious lamentation refuses to fit
what whiny emotion shall we choose to transmit?
mixing the messages you choose to send,
don't bother, MOM, I'm just playing pretend!
the sad thing is, so many aren't seeing
how wonderful it is to be a human being
Some darkness here and there does a soul good
but it's not like it makes you misunderstood
invented tortures await through each stanza
sadness like Bosco to George Costanza
to leave behind what makes us great
a hunger for knowledge to satiate
a vive we don't lose till the Pearly Gates
constant belief there's something to await
but drink too much from the fountain of youth
will do nothing besides blind you from the truth
to sour a life is so uncouth
to say humanity's bad is a gross untruth
Fly away
Magicians hat stands alone,
wonder how it appeared in my home.
Something weird starting to emerge
a pink mist where I will myself submerge.
The mist starts to take shape,
what is that, maybe an ape?
But finally, it has a shape of a cloud,
I scream of joy to the world, out loud.
I hop on the cloud and fly through the window,
souring in high above with my sweet fluffy pillow.
But suddenly the cloud bursts like a ball,
and down down down...down I fall
If humans weren't humans,
Then what would we be now?
A Pig, ostrich,
Koala or cow?
If we were all cats,
In what trouble we'd be!
We'd eat all the scaly skinned
fish in the sea!
We'd be in a pickle
If we were all dogs,
No comfortable beds
We'd all sleep on logs!
If we were all pidgeons
We wouldn't be smart
We'd smash into windows,
like fast flying darts!
If we were all trees
Our lives would be long,
But we'd get knocked over
By winds oh so strong.
If I were a hippo,
I sure would be hopin'
That my monstrous mouth
Won't get stuck while it's open!
So we are humans.
Humans, we are
Each one is unique
Each one is a star.
Foreign Foods
You come home from work,
Or maybe from school.
You want to eat something.
Something thats cool.
"Let's get some Chinese!"
"We can not, so-"
"Maybe Italian?"
"I just said no!"
Nobody lets you,
Eat what you want.
Not out of a bowl
Or even a pot.
You want some spaghetti,
meatballs, tomatos.
Or maybe some curry,
Dumplings, potatoes.
You'll eat with a knife,
a fork, or a spoon.
You'll learn to use chopsticks.
It's never too soon!
You want something foreign,
But still a bit changed.
You want it faster
than firstly arranged.
Italian's "slow food".
Chinese equals "fast food".
Fast is a plus,
Slow changes our mood...
-----------------------
I hope this is good. It sounds good to me.
I doubt it will get anywhere near the top 3 anyway. :-|
I'm sorry I didn't judge. I was on spring break(technically still am) in Moab(jeeping and rafting = fun). But now, I have to study for the U-PASS tests(Utah Performance Assessment System for Students. Bane of all Utahns K-12) so I won't be on. And subsequently, I'll be unable to judge.
I've notified Carlie as well.
And Beast...hell's bells, dude. Impatient much?
P.S.- Topic made me hungry. I love Italian. Chinese, ehhh.
Those were runners-ups, of which I chose 3, as well as a winner.
Grrrr, I just accidentally tabbed out and lost like 4 stanzas >_<
Yeah, I hate when that happens. I periodically hit Ctrl+A and then Ctrl+C (Select All and Copy) to copy all of my work on the off chance that I accidentally tab out to prevent disasters. Other time, I just compose in Notepad and save as a unicode instead.
I have two keys next to my up arrow - one to take me forward a page in my history and one to take me back - and I accidentally hit those a lot. It's sort of like an unexpected poetry cockblock >_<
I have side mouse buttons that do the same thing...they're handy except for those accidents...
Okay, as I've already explained my absence and all, here it is:
NEW JUDGE NEEDED
As I've resigned, there is an opening for the position of judge. Therefore, anyone interested in being the new judge, all you have to do is say so on my profile. Or on the thread. I'm not going to be picky. Since the deadline is April 9 for the next judging, I expect all submissions by April 7; which is next Wednsday, in case you didn't know. You should definitely have your verdict by April 8. That gives the new judge at least a day to do the judging.
May the games begin.
And last but not least, I couldn't resist. This is NOT an official entry; that means that I cannot win. I just wanted to join in.
You drive your car down the street
Hoped to spare your aching feet
Cook? Nah, you aren't in the mood
So let's get some foreign food!
Zeus's Grill has some real good Greek
Inspector found rats there; eek!
So Greek is out...how 'bout German?
No way; they too have vermin!
How 'bout a Japan dish?
No way, I won't eat raw fish!
All right, how about Chinese?
Okay! Let's get the cuisine
Chicken lo mein; noodles, too!
Ah, you're such a helpless dork:
can't use chopsticks? Take a fork!
Wait...is that an eyeball? EW!
Forget Chinese, that's just wrong
One second there was too long
But I do like Italian
Especially the bouillon
Too expensive; ninety bucks!
Forget it...this just plains sucks
Let's go home, and home we'll stay
I like good old PBJ
I would try at it if I didn't have the Haiku contest judging, which, due to the high volume of participants is rather time consuming.
Like I say, I would if I could.
Although maybe I could make a further reservation of time if no one else is suitable.
I'll make my poem really short.
Eating all the delicious spices,
Pity they're such expensive prices.
The tomato sauce is perfect for me,
The epic noodles are the key.
Overall the meatballs are epic,
Once I'm done, the crumbs are microscopic.
The Woes of The Chinese In America
Stride into the store all spruced up,
Me, dressed to the nines,
Balked at the dishes and cups,
Snorted at the poor rice wine.
Glare at the waiters in disdain,
Scorn the fake Oriental decor,
Authentic Qing dresses they claim,
Walked past the 'Japanese' paper door.
It's absurd I mutter inwardly,
Genuine Chinese and Asian,
And they think this even remotely,
So I tick in frustration.
Sir, a bowl of chop suey?
By the Gods no what's that really?
Sir, a bowl of chow mein?
No my chap, not if I'm insane.
The sesame chicken covered in oil,
Fried rice that's burnt and tasteless,
It's enough for my blood to boil,
It'll leave any Chinese chef faceless.
Egg roll if you're not hungry?
Bite in, the oil destroys my taste buds,
Wonton soup to quench your thirst?
I'd rather die than drink that mud.
Little paper boxes of noodles,
My ancestors flipping in the graves,
Damn it, just use Google,
And show real Chinese food I crave.
Neon pink sauce for fried dough,
It tastes artificial, waiter!
Fortune cookies just for show,
By cash, bring the bill later.
It's a nightmare little Asian,
American Chinatowns serve food,
Utterly alien to a Chinese fellow,
It leaves me crying,
It leaves me stomping out the shop,
I'm catching the next flight to Beijing.
This one's a bit rushed. The Chinese waiter's lines are italicized (ironically), and the grammar errors are intentional to suit the mood. It's in iambic pentameter. Hope I'm not too late!
An Italian in a Chinese Eatery
Oh, mamma mia, this place sure looks great!
It's such a shame that I already ate,
I'll go inside, no matter how I feel
'Cause I am in the mood for one more meal!
Hello, fat man, may I take order please?
Why certainly, I'll have meatballs with cheese.
Sir, we do not serve cheese in our rest'rant.
You'll have to pick a new dish that you want.
You got spaghetti? I don't need the cheese.
No, we have no spaghetti. Change mind, please.
Perhaps look at our menu, for the best.
I don't like reading. What do you suggest?
The kung pao chicken is delectable,
With steamed rice and assorted vegetable,
Our wonton soup makes even grown men cry...
Do you have any pasta I could try?
We do have noodles, if that's what you mean.
We famous for our godly pork chow-mein.
Does that come in a marinara sauce?
Marinara what? You've got me lost.
Do you have any Italian food?
I don't want to reject or to be rude,
But I don't see a meatball anywhere,
Take it somewhere else, I do not care!
Thread is locked!