First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
You guys need to pick up the pace. It's been almost two weeks since the round closed.
Yet you allowed the other poetry contest to do the same....
up upon this grave lie a man named dave dave forgot to shave so he craved and craved for time to shave
his face was smooth and clean intill he found a majic bean the bean was thought of as a teen a teen that really needed to clean clean the house,'cuz he was mean
So this was the story of dave the man who forgot to shave we should all hope for dave the mean teen who had to clean.....
It shines upon our rice It smells gorgeously nice I can devour it more than thrice Till I have my head full of lice It will be forever mine And I can hear it twine From a million miles From the kitchen It is the magnificent chicken
*sticks tounge out*Would have thought that a contest that was desparate for writers just a few weeks ago would love to have a extra poem or two....oh well.
It shines upon our rice It smells gorgeously nice I can devour it more than thrice Till I have my head full of lice It will be forever mine And I can hear it twine From a million miles From the kitchen It is the magnificent chicken
People are clearly anxious for a new round... since this round has been running for nearly an entire month, what harm could it do to initiate a new theme and go from there?
Hi there, because the judging has taken so long, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. I've been a former judge here and there, and although I'm no longer as active as before I still lurk around. I've noticed that nothing has been going on, and so I've decided that perhaps it would be best for the sake of the contest for me to put the mantle back on. If wolf would like to post his judging at last, then his decision can supersede mine.
Wood: Nichodemus
The Art of Love
Caressing her sculpted curves Laughter tinkling with silvery mirth, As she coyly and softy murmurs, Sweet nothings in hushed whispers.
Dimmed the subtle romantic lights, Sun's orange glow welcomes our Night, And the curtains came running home, Our loft bedecked with silk and chrome.
Seductively stroked your cool neck, Quickly without decorum or tact, Flung your thin drenched dress away, Let the connoisseur have his way.
Kissing your sensual lips, Not a protest, splendid dear, As I tilted back and took a sip, Of that heavenly cold beer!
The poet combines a deliberate quaint style with one heck of a setup to bring us the art of love, brought to you by Heineken. While there are intriguing alliterations and excellent word choices scattered throughout the piece, I feel that the rhythm was rather choppy...in this case a strict metrical scheme over an accentual scheme definitely would have been preferable. In addition, the home/chrome rhyme was definitely too much of a giveaway, compromising the careful setup of the piece. Still, an admirable piece.
Silver: Maverick4
Hey there, You seem a little lonely. Why don't we walk for awhile, And take strides to forget the past?
But how foolish of me. For that would require an effort On your part, And you have none to spare.
A poem need not elegance of word nor elaborate schemes to be a poem. Anyone who has undergone a hard breakup will instantly relate to this poem. The last stanza is, in my humble opinion, brilliant in its deadpan bitterness and startling conclusive quality. The set-up that this poem creates in its terseness is very well done. Had the poet not changed his submission, I believe that this poem could and should have taken the prize. Alas, break-ups and fate can be quite cruel...
Gold: TopRank_
Juliet is Dead
paradise was hard fought then burned to a mound
heaven sank to hell candles in the ground they found
an angel with a voice the way of peace she taught
perfect light perfect shadow perfect sound
as dawn subsides to day perfection flew away
everything has demons devils in that way to betray
but some angel will be found
perfect light perfect shadow perfect sound
but in that short time she was the light itself
light without flaw but not without it inside herself
light without shadow is a song without a sound
perfect light perfect shadow perfect sound
perfection flew away as fringe subsides to fray
as the poison touched her lips perfect light, perfect kiss
no more
nothing is perfect
In the past, I thought that Romeo and Juliet was a pretty stupid play. How could it be that a couple meets, courts, marries, consummates, and dies in 3-4 hours? But after falling in love and having my own heart broken, I think I realized how deeply Shakespeare understood the power of the star-crossed lover, the search for perfection that ultimately defeats itself only after a taste of that perfection, and ironically enough, the stupidity of young love. I think your poem, understood as a response to Romeo and Juliet, reflects these qualities very nicely. To me, each repetition of "erfect" represents a candle on the ground each...you place and place and then you run out and they all burn away into oblivion. There are still places to undergo further revision--I feel that the angel/demon theme is vague and could be drawn out--but the effort I see here is genuine.
So unless wolf objects or the general outcry is sufficient, TopRank_ takes this contest. The theme, which will run until October 8, shall be Full Moon, in honor of the harvest moon and the Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese Mid-Autumn Festival. I encourage you all to read some ancient Chinese poetry on the moon; it's quite fascinating and will help you become a better poet. Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen, and have a good night. I cannot say whether I will be around to judge again, but one thing is sure: I will be watching, and I will be waiting.
