Third Place: TuxedoPenguin
If Only
If only, If only,
There was no more pain or misery
No more racism, war, and poverty
The world would be a better place,
But it will not do, It has no place alongside Human Nature.
If only, If only,
We embraced nature once more
Enjoying the glorious beauty and prosperity
Breaking the chains of recklessness and pollution,
But we cannot, for we are stuck in these Concrete Domains.
A take on the classic faults of man as they affect eachother and the world around. The lengthing of the stanzas seems to accentuate the growing force of the problems described. However I'm not fond of having half the lines rhyme with eachother, and then the other half not rhyming at all. But good job, and keep it up.
Second Place: Nichodemus
Globalisation
A perennial gale of creative destruction,
As astutely claimed by Schumpeter,
Heralding a redefition of foundations,
Brazenly he sallies forth, our trumpeter.
See the haughty French Connoisseur,
Sniff and quaff nouveau American liquor,
His plump oriental Turkish neighbour,
Plants a splendid Christmas douglas fir.
See the proud Chinese gentleman,
Quietly order a hamburger for his son,
Right behind the hunched British war veteran,
Chewing sagely on exotic herbal medicine.
See the spiffily dressed Iranian banker,
Sweating over his Russian grammar,
His friend the buoyant Mexican pastor,
Hums a pop song, tapping his fingers.
Wave away those parochial purists,
The world is not a rigid copper mould,
Checked by hysterical moralists,
Each lacking a sophisticated soul.
For culture embraces and not shuns,
Dynamic people bouncing off ideas,
Behold, it encompasses everyone,
Yes, even that insular deacon.
There is naught a single save haven,
An isolated community or mighty nation,
Concrete and staunch enough to withstand,
This evolving marvel's outstretched hands
Forgiving your grammar and spelling (tee hee), this is really a nice piece. The alternating rhyme scheme seems to offer a sort of yin and yang to the percieved structuralist tendencies of the stanzas, making for a charming read. The meter seems to be a bit off in some places, but this only detracts a minute value from the poem. Good job.
First Place: TackyCrazyTNT
Her hands,
Crimson as a robin's breast,
Flutter against the icy wall.
The wall.
She presses up against it,
imagines green pastures,
a sky of sapphire and ivory,
metaphors heard from the skeletons at her feet.
Smooth and cold like bone,
Like Dante's Ninth Circle.
The wall.
She listens for whispers
Seeping through the cracks,
Breathless and eager.
Distorted images, nourishment.
Threads of sunlight to her tired ears.
"I told you."
The weary skeletons do not respond.
"I told you."
They crunch under her,
Broken memories.
The voices talk of bubblegum,
White chocolate shakes that froth,
Too much for one person to finish.
"None for you."
She waits.
It is dark inside the wall,
The underbelly of a beast.
"Stop smiling."
Her grin matches theirs.
"Stop smiling."
The skeletons know too much, yellowed shells.
The wall crumbles,
As walls are wont to do,
Shaking limbs of concrete.
"I told you."
Rusted are the hills and sky,
And the skeletons smile,
Lying in shallow graves.
"None for you."
"Stop smiling."
What I like most about this poem is the way it presents the theme in multiple layers, if you will. First we are made aware of an immediate and physical 'concrete domain'; the wall infront of the speaker. Next the 'concrete domain' is torn down by the contradicting delusion of senses, by having visual cues affect auditory cues, etc. And finally, the 'concrete domains' of the mind are broken down by the subtle presense of insanity and the increasing vivacity of the skeletons. So congratulations, and please contact a moderator for your merit.
Good job and thanks to all those who participated, however few.
The new theme will be 'Map to Perfection', due whenever enough poems have been submitted to make a worthwhile judging pool, or a significant amount of time lapses.
