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3868 | 3768150 |
First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
I had trouble making Anxiety different from fear
Anxiety is an emotional side effect of many situations, some fearful, some everyday occurrences. While anxiety and fear do go hand in hand, anxiety CAN be separated from fear.
I didn't think your poem was off-topic, I absolutely felt the anxiety IN the poem. That IS a good thing
Oh Shoot! Should have put this in my last post ... oh well ...
Remember, only ONE DAY LEFT until JUDGING!
Ah judging is tomorrow, im not gonna be here to see the results cuz im going to the beach for 4th of July. And now that I read my poem again, i do think it dwells more on fear than anxiety.
I think all the poems were great. And maverick4, I think yours was more about Anxiety then fear. You focused more on being nervous not exactly fearful at going toward the balloon then being worried about getting down. I liked it. I think the title was good to
thanks, the cooks worst critic is hisself (or herself). Or in this case, writer. Im probaly gonna get sued by pixar if they see the title :P
they all started running away
how could things happen this way
I looked down and saw I was red
one wrong move and everyone would have dread
the reds not blood as you may think
it makes me so tense I cant even blink
they crowd around me each with a glass shield
no matter how much I try I can't yield
they called me the destroyer of society
this is what it must feel like to have anxiety
when I wouldn't respond they said the waiting was done
strapped to me was a bomb stuck at one
And maverick4, I think yours was more about Anxiety then fear. You focused more on being nervous not exactly fearful at going toward the balloon then being worried about getting down. I liked it. I think the title was good to
Don't really have time to write a long poem, so I'll just write another haiku, lol.
Anxiety
A child -- still, asleep,
Cowering, shivering, dead.
Needs to run away.
I don't really think it makes sense but, oh well. :P
It's that time for judging again! OK, here goes ... <drum roll>
First place is awarded to thisisnotanalt
trying to put up a light
to read the writing on the wall
my fixation is a dreadful sight
I answer to no hearken or call
There's an untold story that I need to know
lest I be left behind and oblivious
not enough space, but no other place to go
my want for safety and comfort so lascivious
every one of my faults magnified
can't rest, too much pressure
every possible evac failed and retried
the waters of life stagnated, there are none fresher
I thought you really caught the essence of anxiety in your poem and especially in the line "my want for safety and comfort so lascivious". Excellent job!
Second place goes to The_AG_King
I feel my inner demons awaken,
as the clock next to me turns to midnight,
As I must face their horrible face,
in this hour of fright.
Seeing myself in this pain and agony,
Waiting until the clock strikes one,
Trying not to lose control of myself,
To let this all be done,
But no, I must wait,
In pain and fear,
Hoping these demons dont get the best of me,
Hoping my end is not near...
Definitely felt the anxious fear in your poem. Great Job!
Third place goes to adrecka_33
Time slows to a crawl.
And I feel it rising, this thing inside me
Growing to unimaginable depths.
As I wait and wonder, what will happen next.
This thing inside me causes my mind to whirl.
This is what it lives for, to torment me
To make me think of the worst.
When you have to make a decision of life or death.
When your waiting for the bad news to come.
When you know there's nothing you can do.
It comes to you.
Its not fear, but no less as strong
It comes alive to make you worry.
It feeds on and creates misery
The only thing you can do is wait.
Time is the only thing that can conquer it
Time can make it go away.
When, what you were waiting for is here.
The thing inside you disappears.
But sometimes Anxiety is replaced with fear.
I like how I could feel anxiety throughout your poem. Well done!
Fourth place goes to Maverick4
UP
Standing in line just waiting
The advertisements baiting
Snaring you in like a hungry fish
Saying its all you wish
Happy thoughts flood through my mind
But soon do I find
That I'm in front of the line
The pilot reassures me that I'll be fine
Rising higher, higher, higher still
My worst nightmare is now fulfilled
In this ballon above the ground
A shred of courage cannot be found
Eyes shut tight
I ponder my plight
Till the pilot says where going down
And soon we begin heading towards the town
With clammy hands and a pale face
I sit and wonder about my case
And when we land and I can leave
I hop off and through the crowd I weave
Looking back to that day
With regret all i can say
Should have i just glimpsed down
I could have seen the whole town...
Well, a lot of us have experienced this fear, and you made it palpable. Nicely done!
Fifth place goes to zlith
hey all started running away
how could things happen this way
I looked down and saw I was red
one wrong move and everyone would have dread
he reds not blood as you may think
it makes me so tense I cant even blink
they crowd around me each with a glass shield
no matter how much I try I can't yield
hey called me the destroyer of society
this is what it must feel like to have anxiety
when I wouldn't respond they said the waiting was done
strapped to me was a bomb stuck at one
I almost felt as if I had a bomb strapped to me, good story inside a poem!
Honorable Mentions go to: Pixie214, Kipdon & jereN
Thanks for taking time to share your poetry Shaynell and Krizaz
OK, now for this weeks theme ...
THIS WEEKS THEME IS STORMS (You can write about tropical, electrical, Thunder, hurricanes, tornadoes, monsoons, or even emotional storms)
The deadline will be Sunday, July 12th
Have a good weekend everyone!
OMGosh ..I just realized that thisisnotanalt won last week ... and sorry, the rules state that a user cannot win 2 weeks in a row... I am so sorry.
SO, First place shall go to The_AG_King
And, Second place shall go to thisisnotanalt
Once again, sorry for the confusion, my bad.
Thanks for taking time to share your poetry Shaynell and Krizaz
Thanks for taking time to share your poetry Shaynell and Krizaz
I don't quite understand what you mean by this, explain.
SO, First place shall go to The_AG_King
Thread is locked!