ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
  • 3,868 Replies
mvpguy22
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mvpguy22
304 posts
Peasant

Yes! I love this topic! I wanted this one really bad.

I also have a question: The poem must include a utopia, and cannot have any problems, correct? For example, the person talks about how perfect the town/world/etc. is, but then there is a flaw...which would not make it a utopia...see where I am going? Or should I clarify...?

adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

This one is gonna be very very chalanging, but it should be really good if people can think of anything, and right now cant think of anything.....

Gantic
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Gantic
11,891 posts
King

I'm pretty sure this poem will fit within the width limitations, but if it doesn't it's better viewed in Notepad.

And you know... How about some poems written by DragonMistress! If she's not too busy.

Eternal

it may be perfect here
to sit under this tree
upon this hill
with
its
wat-
er
gent-
ly
fall-
ing
in \\\\ this Eden
with \\\\ these people who know
not of \\\\ that quintessential (,) ephemeral
pain from \\\\ those loved ones who go away (!)
because after \\\\ i look at myself i always wonder
how much of // you looks for me as i always wander (?)
well beyond // your horizons and wonders if i will one day
return for // you know that we will always belong together (.)
even in // this place where no one does and love is without jealousy
and for \\\\ everyone because no one belongs to anyone and no one minds
that in // the end when they arrive unburdened they have the love of all but as i sit under
this \\\\ tree of life i want to return to you as i see an apple fall and roll far from this perfect tree. Q

rafael_marc22
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rafael_marc22
204 posts
Nomad

Utopia what is that?

Gantic
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Gantic
11,891 posts
King

A Utopia is a perfect society. It can be a place of socioeconomic equality where everything is shared by the community, which is a like socialist society but possibly without the government. Paradise, like idea of Eden and Heaven. A society where pestilence, war, famine, and possibly death are no longer problems. Whatever would make a perfect society.


And I made a mistake in my entry. That last under is supposed to be on the next line with this on the other side of the backslashes.

DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

also have a question: The poem must include a utopia, and cannot have any problems, correct? For example, the person talks about how perfect the town/world/etc. is, but then there is a flaw...which would not make it a utopia...see where I am going? Or should I clarify...?


I'm really not too nit-picky about the theme. It can be a realistic or non-realistic Utopia (realistic being that people still die, get sick, etc. and unrealistic being the opposite, for example). If you have a really good idea but it doesn't fit in a small way or another, don't worry about it.
ubertuna
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ubertuna
2,120 posts
Shepherd

Oh noes! I can't miss a chance to write about utopia! It's one of my favorite topics

Flaws
by UT

He stood.
Gazing down a thousand perfect rows of perfect little houses.
The were all painted the same color.
They were all the same size.

He walked.
Past house after house.
Perfect little famlies in each.
All living perfect little lives.

He sat.
Something was wrong.
Everything in this world was perfect.
Except him.

He slept.
Dreaming of chaos and uncertainty.
A labyrinth of stone.
He woke up in a silent scream.

He waited.
The sun rose high into the sky.
No clouds visable.
Another perfect day.

He thought.
Contemplating the utopia.
Knowing that he was the flaw.
He was the imperfection in this perfect world.

He died.

adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

A Revelation

We will never have to feel sorrow or pain
Cause only good things it will bring

A paradise for all who are willing
To serve Jehovah our god

He promises that death will be no more
And that all the wicked ones will be gone

For this earth will be made over
Into a perfect place for life

It won't be a mindless place
Where you're controlled and not free

No nothing has to be the same
No rows of seeming endless matching houses

Everything is different, what ever you want it to be
You can live out under the stars

Cause no clouds will ruin the day
The air you can breathe, no population to destroy it

The sea is no longer green but a brilliant blue
The lion and the lamb sit in peace

Nether afraid, the animals will forever be tamed
Enough food for all, no more staving kids

No discrimination, of color or race
This is a utopia, a perfect place.

mentorso123
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mentorso123
368 posts
Jester

Utopia
Mentorso123

Perfection
timeless
non-existent
that's why I can't see it
I can't see the utopia
I know that it's out there
somewhere
somehow
but I
nor you
can see it

we may be blind-
through loss
and anger
and sadness
-to utopia

but
I can feel it
I can feel the edges
soft, silky, smooth
warm
wrapping around any good deed
not any good person

any good person has flaws

utopia doesn't

good people aren't in utopia
good people are human
good people are here
with me
and you

utopia is perfect

perfection is relative

utopia
isn't
good

mentorso123
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mentorso123
368 posts
Jester

Okay, sorry, I want to make a revision.

utopia

isn't

good

adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

I think i did better then last week


Ya Lythin I loved it, It brought the whole feel of it, i could picture everything u were saying and it gave a good message to....
mvpguy22
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mvpguy22
304 posts
Peasant

These are all really good! There is a tough competition this week.

Note: the town's name is pronounced Thistle-eye.
Here is my poem:

The Town of Thistleigh
by mvpguy22

Did you ever visit to Thistleigh?
It was quite a pretty town, says I.
It had perfect homes with perfect streets,
And perfect birds with perfect tweets.
Perfect weather all the time,
And perfect bells with perfect chimes.
That was all I heard before I went to Thistleigh,
But I learned that there was more,and it caught my eye.

Entering through the great Violet Door,
You stopped and stared at perfection, nothing more.
It gleamed and shined every color and hue,
Of purple you can imagine, even some blue.
Getting through was not a task to take lightly,
You had to beg and bribe slightly,
But once I got through, what an amazing sight!
Everything was perfect, everything was just right.

I walked the streets of Thistleigh,
Waving to all the townspeople, who all said,"hi!"
I saw happy families, with healthy kids,
And a few dogs that were abnormally big.
At twelve o'clock, right on the dot,
It was time for lunch, and nobody forgot!
The food was scrumptious, oh so delish!
I wish I could have another dish.

Now I'm really sorry to tell you, my friend,
That this is where the perfection ends.
For when I closed my eyes and smelled the breeze,
I let out the most gigantic sneeze.
The germs once inside of me landed on a girl,
And she turned green, and begn to hurl.
From that point, the people began to fall,
Like dominoes, not one, but all.

I ran out, stricken with guilt,
As I dystroyed the only perfect city built,
I hid in the shadows, and let out a cry,
For all of those from Thistleigh.

juan999999
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juan999999
3,012 posts
Jester

Islands of green grass with beautiful shining blue sky as it looked as water.No pollution and were animals will sing and sing until crying babies stopped crying and went to sleep into their sweet dreams.Dolphins jumping majestically out of the water after the sun rose in the horizon.Birds chirping a lullaby and make the morning a new bright day for life.A place were people say "Thank you Jesus for giving me one more day for my life.Thank you Jesus for letting me have a beautiful family and amazing friends that are always there for me.

That is my kind of world that would make me happy.
I say too"Thank you Jesus for letting me have another breath and a beautiful life in this world"
I Love You.

adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

Ohh i really liked Mvpguys and lytnins. Litnin Created a great pictuer but Mvpguy tolds a great story.

thoadthetoad
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thoadthetoad
5,642 posts
Peasant

With too much pain,
comes the releif of joy,
that may seem lame,
but I can tell you otherwise.

With so much greif,
your life seems brief,
and all the more sweet,
from your face to your feet.

With a stick in the eye,
a happy reply,
would be the releif of the pain,
this is what keeps us sane!

There is no utopia,
it cannot be so!
because then joy,
would become so low!

A complement becomes insult,
and insult becomes worse than pain,
and the world becomes a cult.
Pain is what keeps us sane!


A sucky poem by me! I totally sucked out on it, sorry folks.

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