Heeeere's the judging~! Due to my illness, this judging will be a bit more brief than my other one. Sorry, but my prednisone makes it difficult to type~
I'll judge the winner and the runnerups. Due to the number of entries, I will judge only 3 runnerups. I guess they'll be like the honorable mentions.
HONORABLEUPS/RUNNERMENTIONS
DDX - Trapped Air
I am but trapped air within you,
Embody something that should be free.
Maybe that one thing you had, or was it two?
Just be in someplace private is the key.
You know, so sorry we were never meant to be,
around the globe and seven seas.
We both live as separate entities.
I try to force myself out when you pee.
Cmon bud, don't be sad.
sometimes there are things you lack
if anything you should be glad.
self control just can't be packed.
Now disgusting as this may be
Amorphously I'll escape with ease.
silent and deadly like the bees
you'll feel nothing but a breeze.
Insidiously I creep around
I slither everywhere unbound
As I waft up to your nose and astound
your senses will be gunned down
The squeeze of your buttocks pushes me through
The contraction of intestine creates my lore
Once you smell me you will spew
what was once your lunch before.
I am that flatulence from whom you could not pin
Where every evil man comes to sin
I live in the bathroom of the tainted air
My brother feces and I make a fearsome pair
I never thought I'd be praising a fart poem . . . meh, fml. While your subject matter could not be less serious, the general rhythm and rhyme are infectious(hahaha). This is what puts this down as a runnermention/honorableup. It's a good poem. It was also tough to judge because of the subject matter related to the overall high quality of the poem -_-
Choazeh - Air
You cannot see it,
taste it,
but feel it.
As it bristles through the great willows.
Whispering your name.
It's impecable greateness,
fluid motions,
antiquity.
As it brings the sweet aromas of life.
Mocking you.
It holds what we breath,
it's something we never understood,
a force of nature,
strong, yet gentle,
right here right now.
Beneath the blossoms of the tree.
Living our last moments.
We breath it in.
The first and third stanzas are great, lilting and soft like the wind it portrays. The second one is rough around the edges, most notably the third line, which is a it stubby. You also may want to try manipulating the punctuation in stanza 2 a bit so as to help along the flow.
MoonFairy - The Aiiiiir is aaaaaaliiiiive, with the Souuuund of the Aiiiiiir, which is Aliiiiiiive, with the souund of Oh you get the iiiideaaaaaa~~~~
The wind is strong,
The breeze is sincere,
All throughout life,
We hold our air dear.
We breathe it in,
We breathe it out,
Without air we couldn't talk,
Without air we couldn't shout.
Air makes up you,
Air makes up me,
And we thank it,
By cutting down the trees.
We are killing it,
While it lets us live,
Now if you think that is fair,
You must not know how we could give.
We should recycle,
As a token of our thanks,
So life can go on,
As we give what we take.
Air is sweet,
Air is kind.
It lets our boats sail,
It's what gives life to your mind.
So next time time you take a smoke,
Or next time you throw away plastic,
Remember that you are giving life,
That last one was sarcastic. ;P
Let's keep our grass green,
Let's keep our oceans blue,
Let's keep the air clean,
Because if not,
It will eventually kill you.
This is an exuberant and energetic poem. I like the bouncy rhyme of it. The 2nd stanza has a hiccup or two, but it recovers and soars through to the end. Overall, a commendable poem.
AAAAAAAAND THE WINNER IS, ONE OF THE MANY ARMORGAMERS TIED FOR AG'S FAVORITE ASIAN, THE POETIC AND PHILOSOPHICAL PAAAARSAAAAT!!
Free Radicals
Man:
Up and up it runs, behold!
Invisible, the highest spire
Made of motion, icy cold
To funnel up the moving gyre
That burns my skin like flying fire
And fills my lungs to full inspire.
Each breath I siphon up, my heart
Will pump and beat, will stop and start;
You nourish us, you are required,
Why must you force us to depart?
Air:
Things
fall
apart...
The center cannot hold.
I really love this poem, from the windy and practically perfect meter to the flowing rhymes. The title fits perfectly, and I love how it conveys both the windedness of man and the succinctness of the air itself. This is an exceptionally constructed and delivered poem that certainly deseres the merit its getting.
New Theme: Stealth
Deadline: Monday, April 26
