First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
Around the world and back again, We'll march until we reach the end. By trumping trumping trumping Trumping trumping trumping 'round. Our feet we'll stamp into the ground, But purpose here can taint be found. Just trumping trumping trumping Trumping trumping trumping 'round! __________ Version two. Realized I botched the last line.
Elephants. Some smell. Those are Smell-ephants. Some ring bells. They are Bell-ephants. Some live in hell. Those are Hell-ephants,
But what if they like food? Then they are Food-lephants. What about naughty ones? Well, they are Rude-lephants. What about male elephants? They are Dude-lephants. And if they are grumpy... They are Mood-lephants!
There are many different types of elephants, but the greatest is John's! Please don't leave John, Of you we are so, so fond!
The land was filled with hazes of dread and death. Prickly bones and sickly tones were scattered all across the land. This land was where grand beasts came to an end. When the time comes, one by one the tusked beasts laid down. The wait was long but it was never wrong, as they sang a song before before they're gone. Whence the time comes, the dance of the scavengers commence Bit by bit and nibble by nibble the flesh of the great beasts were reclaimed to nature. And when they are nothing but bones, its time for the scavengers to go home to the lone of darkness They wait in their holes, waiting for beasts to grow old and gold for the picking
(Hope you guys like my dark poem... Its relatively my first poem as I am not really a poem guy... But heck, its my first time here!)
I slumped, drinking greedily from the bottle, Singing about the light hearted stimulant, Frowned upon by followers of the Gospel, And started seeing a myriad of pink elephants.
Eyes filled with disco ball sparks, Waltzing in blissful merriment, Tripping over the sofa in the dark, Cursed as I fell like an elephant.
Evening heat permeates, with the blinds drawn, Smelt the spicy scent of her perfume, One that I disregarded for far too long, The sad little elephant sleeping in the room.
Watched her flickering silhouette, The candle flickers like my regret, Flowers, so she'll never be upset, But an elephant never forgets.
The woman is not fat, it's just an affectionate term.
Or 4. God, I can count! Anyway, I changed a word or two.
I slumped, drinking greedily from the bottle, Singing about the light hearted stimulant, Frowned upon by followers of the Gospel, And started seeing a myriad of pink elephants.
Eyes filled with disco ball sparks, Waltzing in blissful merriment, Tripping over the sofa in the dark, Cursed as I fell like an elephant.
Evening heat permeates, with the blinds drawn, Smelt the spicy scent of her perfume, One that I disregarded for far too long, The sad little elephant sleeping in the room.
Watched her flickering silhouette, The candle fades unlike my regret, Flowers, so she'll never be upset, But an elephant never forgets.
Thanks for the entries, guys! Since I'm already a little late I'll post judging immediately. I think Blue Elephant really enjoyed reading them, and all of them made me laugh for different reasons. I won't post rationale this time, but if you want feedback I will be certainly happy to give it.
Congrats, MagicTree, for the win. Wordplay, they say, is the lowest form of humor, but I'm a person of low tastes.
For the last contest of the year, we're going to be doing something a little different. The theme for the rest of 2012 is going to be "Year's Best." Basically, I want you to look through all the poems that you've written this year, pick one that you like the best, and revise it before submitting. If you haven't written anything this year you're satisfied by, don't let 2012 be a disappointment! This is the only contest where the "original submission" rule will be waived. I want to see your best work. Submissions will close Tuesday, January 1, 2013.
I feel like this is the part where we get drunk on cheap alcohol as we ponder what was and what could have been. We're pretending to be Hemingway, if anyone asks. XD
It doesn't need to be something you wrote for this contest specifically; you can post any poem you have written this year. If you haven't written anything this year, you can count this as a free write.
