ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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GhostOfHorror
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GhostOfHorror
889 posts
Nomad

Considering the fact that I am too late to join for this theme, I'd love to know the new theme soon to see if I can work on something before the next deadline.

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,437 posts
Farmer

You know, you should give noobs a chance to judge!!! hint... hint...


Not to sound elitist or arrogant, but it would be preferable if someone with experienced with poetry judged.
FallenSky
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FallenSky
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Peasant

Not to sound elitist or arrogant, but it would be preferable if someone with experienced with poetry judged.

It's easily understandable wolf, I don't think you should feel bad about that; I wouldn't even consider myself worthy of that position.

wolf1991
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wolf1991
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Farmer

Parsat says:

Posted at 10:32pm on 2/23/2011
I'll say this officially, I suppose. If I happen to be absent for poetry judging for over 3 days, I'm assigning you to judge for me and choose the next theme, since you've done an admirable job before.


This was posted on my profile. That being said it has been over 3 days and I will begin the judging. Results will posted no later than Friday night.

In the meantime the new theme is: Witness

Deadline: March 12 2011
FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

Don't feed the hand that bites you

The young boy stands alone on the porch
With teary eyes he smears the land
Barren as if scamped by a torch
An unyielding soil for a trifling demand
And the grass grows green elsewhere
But the little man just don't care

Spade in hand and hope in mind
He turns the earth to which we owe
Day and night he toils to grind
The harsh ground so that he can sow
Seeds of life and seeds of hope
Seeds to push away the rope

As time flies a man blooms from the child
Thinned from many unfruitful harvests
But still he cares for the savage and wild
Piece of earth that reaps his assets
And though grass grows green elsewhere
How could the tall man ever care

But comes a day when his backbone aches
And his hands and feets and his resolves
Are as thin and fragile as glass flakes
A once strong soma reluctantly exolves
For years of labor gone to waste
And a damp and dusty aftertaste

On the brink of mortal existence
The lone hermit finaly looked abroad
And slowly crossed the large fence
Walking hurriedly on the vivid road
To a plain of strong and thriving grass
where he laid down and rested his mass

Arched and broken the prideful son
Slipped into a peaceful death
For giving life was the work of an eon
A work to take one man's last breath
Melting in the desired greenery
A perfect way to quench the envy

Noticed a small typing mistake that really changed the way things flowed so I took the opportunity to work a little on my ending at the same time.
This is the official entry to judge; only the two last lines and a change from ''a'' to ''of'' has been made.

wolf1991
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wolf1991
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Farmer

3rd: Explosive Dynamite

This poem reminds me somewhat of my own personal experiences in life in regards to having voice, though I admit it is not to sing. The poem is simple and straight forward and it gives far more depth to the poem than what first appears on the surface. The fact that this poem can be related in theme to almost anyone reading it is what makes this poem a good piece of work.

2nd: Fallen Sky

The metaphors and imagery used in the poem are outstanding. I enjoyed the fact that you were able to relate the growth of the boy to the seeds that he had sown. At the same time, near the end, I catch an almost cynical undertone about the futility and pointlessness of life. Well done.

1st and Merit: EnterOrion

I'm going to be honest, this was a close call, however what won me over was the jarring flow of the poem and the simple, yet effective imagery. The brutality is anything but humorous, though maybe I missed something, however it is well written and even if it is mildly cliche it makes no difference as to the fact it is well done.

**I apologize for the short comments I have been very busy lately and am leaving on a trip to Cuba.

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

T_T

*Monthly spam*

PossessedSoul
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PossessedSoul
4 posts
Nomad

Since nobody else seems to be posting anything, I might be the only contestant and win!
Hopefully, that won't happen.


The man with a twisted mind,
With a head torn completely apart,
Aiming to leave his family behind,
Pointing a gun towards his heart.

Unable to cope with his life,
The man lies there in pain,
Unable to take the strain,
Slits his throat with a knife.

Nobody has witnessed this,
Unless, you don't dismiss,
The scope of his rifle,
And the blade of his knife.


Throwing words together for teh ween!

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

I am entering! yaaaaaaay

This is atypical for me . . . trying for fixed-form, rhymed and metered as strictly and classically as I can. Stanzas of iambic dimeter and trimeter.

On days like this,
I truly wish
that I could learn to fly.
Just take a dive,
And realize -
I'm gliding through the sky.

But here I am,
trap'd on the ground,
Glass ceiling sparkling through.
and I look up,
And see it there . . . .
And simply call "untrue".

I see the truth,
and call me bless'd,
that if none were to see;
If I believed,
it could be true -
in my reality.

I longed to hear
The sweet, sweet song
of my denial's note.
But shadow cast
its lurid cape -
and so I ne'er awoke.

This dream of lies
I lust to live
is loving, fooling me,
Though it is fine!
for in my haste,
no-one had chance to see.

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

That's pretty awkward of me too make, but I guess it's good to somehow derogate from the regular style. I fairly think it's one of my best poem ever, any comments are welcome.

Watcher

A chill on a mirror
A spark in a paper
Brazen, tempting terror
You can't, won't deny her

Her skin, it will entice
Like bright and charming fire;
A slick, fatal mantis
With a lustful attire

However hard she shoves
You wait and bite you cheek
Not matter where she roves
You try, you cry, you're meek

But comes a time for her
When high becomes as dry
She falls, torn asunder
What's left for her to try?

If not to lose her life;
Escape the debts, the shame
You gave to her the knife
In which you saw the blame

You could not help but stare
Like always you did then
Powerless yet aware
Of her, brash and beaten

Leaking on the carpet;
Losing the resolve that
Once shimmered like sunset
She is no more so what?

You watched, and watched, and watched
Until her very end
Alas never you tried;
Too many scars to mend

Voila! It's hard for me to follow precise metric structure, but I think it came up pretty good.

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

I enjoyed the fact that you were able to relate the growth of the boy to the seeds that he had sown

You do realise though that the seeds have not grown right? It's the general point of my poem.

jacksonghuntington
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jacksonghuntington
347 posts
Nomad

Okay!!! Lets give this a shot! (not that i have a chance anyways) witness now lets see....


The pain
The scream
The cruel act of murder
The bodie lays
Just beyond the entry door.

The blade
The clash
The pray to thy god
Please do not kill me
Just beyond the entry door.

The knife
The wound
The cool feel of metel
I lay here helpless
Just beyond the entry door.

The crime
The sorrow
The men find me now
Laying here dead
Just beyond the entry door.

The knowledge
The truth
The young lady who knows
Just the reason I lay here
Just beyond the entry door.
_______________________________

As you can see, this is about a murder and a young lady sees it but decides not to tell... Not sure were i got the insperation for this. I like it though. Reminds me of the poem "The Raven"

jacksonghuntington
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jacksonghuntington
347 posts
Nomad

Oops saw a few mistakes... well, heres my edited and to be judged edition. Its called "Young Lady who Knows". Classic right?

The pain
The scream
The cruel act of murder
The bodie lays here
Just beyond the entry door.

The blade
The clash
The pray to thy god
Please do not kill me
Just beyond the entry door.

The knife
The wound
The cool feel of metel
I lay here helpless
Just beyond the entry door.

The crime
The sorrow
The men find me now
Laying here dead
Just beyond the entry door.

The knowledge
The truth
The young lady who knows
The exact reason I lay here
Just beyond the entry door.

iMogwai
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iMogwai
2,027 posts
Peasant

When you think of a witness, you usually think of someone who's witnessed a crime. Well, I wrote a poem were the witnessing was the crime. Sort of. Anyways, here it is.

Peekaboo, I see you.
Everything you do, it's true.
But little me, you cannot see,
Where could I be? Mystery!

I watch you sleep, so very deep,
Until the clock goes beep.
You look to the sky with tired eyes,
A heavy sigh as you arise. So nice.

As you get dressed, I feel blessed,
So glad to be your hidden guest.
As you leave, you leave me behind,
One thought in my mind; I wonder what I'll find!

AngelicMoon
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AngelicMoon
29 posts
Nomad

iMogwai, is your poem based on someone who's dead but still watching everyday life upon this man? Almost, like she's a ghost.
Or, did I just read it completely wrong?

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