ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
  • 3,868 Replies
gnosiphile
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gnosiphile
58 posts
Nomad

Mostly Nothing

If each little proton that makes up our cells
could grow and expand and get bigger and swell,
could increase its size until we could all tell
what quarks it has merely by looking,
its lonely electrons would spin into space,
encompassing up to a sixth of our race
with nothing inside that six thousand klick space
but quantum gravitical hooking.

If each individual could have a star,
and always be solo wherever they are,
and nevermore be just another of our
faces among local millions,
we'd use a few dozen from our local cluster,
and fill galaxies with our human bluster
but we could still manage to be scared and flustered -
we'd only used sixty from billions.

Septillions of miles and trillions of planets
with no one but us (that we know of) to plan it,
if we don't feel tiny then we've failed to scan it,
or maybe instead we're just bluffing.
So we can be merry, and glib on the fly,
but none of us gets the real scales behind why
the universe lives in the same way we die -
mostly nothing, of mostly nothing.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Is the theme Distance and Spaces? I hope so because I'm going to post a poem with that theme.

My friend
There he is, if you can see him
there he stands if you can feel it
life doesn't make way for anyone
nor does strife pick a favorite
the enemy stands a yard away from one
the friend stands too near for comfort

my friend, he takes up a small spot within me
he would never fall while he had the chance
nor would he sigh the days away in a trip
there lies a mile between us, one, two, three
he would distance himself from me for a change
but I gave him a sip of what it means to live
if only he were grateful, then I would be pleased
for the space between us we must bleed

Jake297
offline
Jake297
306 posts
Shepherd

Time, time everywhere;
But not a minute to spare.
Rushing, rushing, everywhere,
to and from, here and there.

Running out of time,
Is what is happening to all.
We need to slow our lives,
Before we take a fall.

To slow our lives, we must
Be diligent and wise,
Valuing every minute,
Never wasting, early to rise.

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,990 posts
Grand Duke

Jake that is the wrong theme.

Yes Murasaki, correct. Either way, I'm not taking the fall for this one, I have no say in when the title is changed.

waluigi
offline
waluigi
1,946 posts
Shepherd

It's been a while since I was here. Lets go

Sea of Nothing

Flat, blue landscape before me;
no thing to see, no thing around
The roar of the endless sea;
my only grip, the only sound.

There is no way of knowing
which way this boat is going
No words ever been said
resonate more within my head.

Emptiness fills my sight,
my sanity begins to slip
there's where for me to fight,
just a desert, waiting 'til I trip.

There's no thing to see,
no direction, no here
just space, a general 'there',
On this vast, empty sea.

TopRank_
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TopRank_
275 posts
Peasant

NOW: By TopRank_
(this is just a piece of my poem. If u want to hear the rest, msg me and i will write)

Its three hours in, but the movies only startin
Like the rallies and the marches for the death of trayvon martin
The practicalities and the formalities of life
Cant help us escape the realities and brutalities of strife
Step out of the shadows
Walk into the light
No more from the blight of night
Go and do whats right.

Haiti got ripped up like a knife through smoke and butter
When mike wallace passed, eyes and hearts fluttered
People die, but i cant see it comin down my eyes,
So i gotta make this song cry.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Sis poems is a good turnout I think, though down from last time. So the contest will end in two (2) days. So get them poems in!

goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

Ancient foes (from dim spaces)

Long ages ago,
Frightful shapes arose
from the sombre spaces
a great distance away
over steep mountains
by the boundless sea,
advocates of darkness,
deathless foes,
old, unbegotten,
out of ancient void

Doom and death prevails
All is ended,
The world perishes

TuxedoPenguin
offline
TuxedoPenguin
233 posts
Nomad

Hopefully not to late.

Behind Iron Bars

They call me dangerous
and also an offender.
They are merely delirious
and them a pretender.

The world is so far
I lose track of time,
and must bear this scar.
I have committed no crime

Cast out of society
not even a trial.
Our country's impropriety
people so full of denial.

In my own little world
ut off from the rest,
My life will be unfurled
to end being oppressed


Behind these Iron Bars
all I can see is pain and misery,
Looking off into the stars
hoping one day to taste liberty.

TuxedoPenguin
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TuxedoPenguin
233 posts
Nomad

ut off from the rest,


In my poem it is supposed to be cut where the "ut" is.
Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Hopefully not to late.


Not at all.

Judging will close tonight, just a reminder.
Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

The contest is closed now. Judging will be up in the near future.

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Well, I'm the new judge. I suppose this is where I give out some clever witicism to introduce myself, but nothing comes to mind. So I'll just get on with it.

Third Place: Murasaki9

My friend

There he is, if you can see him
there he stands if you can feel it
life doesn't make way for anyone
nor does strife pick a favorite
the enemy stands a yard away from one
the friend stands too near for comfort

my friend, he takes up a small spot within me
he would never fall while he had the chance
nor would he sigh the days away in a trip
there lies a mile between us, one, two, three
he would distance himself from me for a change
but I gave him a sip of what it means to live
if only he were grateful, then I would be pleased
for the space between us we must bleed


A classic take of unrequited love between two persons. You effectively describe the situation, and the problems voiced are those that seem to afflict every lover. However, the meter is at times awkward, leaving you at third place.

Second Place: Gnosiphile

Mostly Nothing

If each little proton that makes up our cells
could grow and expand and get bigger and swell,
could increase its size until we could all tell
what quarks it has merely by looking,
its lonely electrons would spin into space,
encompassing up to a sixth of our race
with nothing inside that six thousand klick space
but quantum gravitical hooking.

If each individual could have a star,
and always be solo wherever they are,
and nevermore be just another of our
faces among local millions,
we'd use a few dozen from our local cluster,
and fill galaxies with our human bluster
but we could still manage to be scared and flustered -
we'd only used sixty from billions.

Septillions of miles and trillions of planets
with no one but us (that we know of) to plan it,
if we don't feel tiny then we've failed to scan it,
or maybe instead we're just bluffing.
So we can be merry, and glib on the fly,
but none of us gets the real scales behind why
the universe lives in the same way we die -
mostly nothing, of mostly nothing.


This piece was a joy to read, and the questions I have at the end of it almost seem to confirm the conclusion of the poem itself. The flow at times seems to differ ever so slightly in a few places though, mainly when a large word is used to fill in the meter. But second place is yours, and you earned it.

First Place: Goumas13

Ancient foes (from dim spaces)
Long ages ago,
Frightful shapes arose
from the sombre spaces
a great distance away
over steep mountains
by the boundless sea,
advocates of darkness,
deathless foes,
old, unbegotten,
out of ancient void

Doom and death prevails
All is ended,
The world perishes


After reading this, I think I'd much prefer that those mentioned in it would keep their distance from wherever I happen to be. The choice of free verse as a medium really helped to define the frightful shapes as just that: formless shapes bequeth of nightmare. So congratulations, and go contact a moderator for your merit.

So thus concludes the round. Congratulations to Goumas and those who placed, as well as all those who participated. That being said, the new theme will be Concrete Domains. The round will close whenever ever a sufficient amount of entries have been recieved, per the new custom.
nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,990 posts
Grand Duke

Plus one to both Mav and Goumas.

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

Aye aye pals.
I'm dropping in quick to say hi here cuz most of my mates belong on this thread.
I've not deserted the boat, it's just my poor gunpowder income that's forced me to stay ashore for a few months now ( where the gunpowder is $ and the shore life with no internet ).
I'll be back someday, and, hmm, I kind of miss you guys.

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