ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

I like broad themes too, you get such diversity in poems. When its a more one subject theme all the poems seem so much a like its like they blend into each other.

JereN
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JereN
189 posts
Peasant

OK.
This is my very first poem...sorry if there is spelling mistakes...my english may not be the best :P

I hope you all like it

Edge


I stand on the edge
only darkness I see
I have a feeling
light there should be

where is the bird
oh where is the tree
here is nothing
only darkness I see

thou spoke of happiness
I took it in
but when the time came
there was nothing

oh dear child
lay down your head
take the final step
and you will be dead

you come to the edge
only darkness you see
no matter what they say
not a single tree

mokomonkey
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mokomonkey
50 posts
Nomad

ALT!! I read your poem and it was beautiful. I'm sorry, I can't comment it as well as more experienced people. All I can say is it had words I don't know. . . and it was very attractive in a way that made me want to read more and more. It ended abruptly, which I thought actually made the poem that much better. ^-^

mokomonkey
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mokomonkey
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Nomad

JereN, yours is spectacular, especially scince it's your first poem!! I loved the use of old english. . . or. . . whatever style that is. . . I'm not good at these kinds of things. T-T

JereN
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JereN
189 posts
Peasant

thank you moko for your kind words...I still think that my poem sucks a bit...but maybe I'll manage to make a better one someday :P

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
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Shepherd

@JereN, it was good, but the flow was somewhat sing-songy in comparison to the rather dark themes in it, and the last line of the last stanza doesn't really fit in with the rest of the premise. It had good rhymes though, and it manifests a great image into your mind.

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

AN: I've been dying to get this poem out somewhere. I wrote this last summer when I was in Utah on vacation.

I've dwelt among the hidden sands
In deserts wide and promised lands.
I've clambered up the rocky face
Of sandstone cliffs in secret place.

Although the day is very hot,
I found myself a shady spot:
A place wherein there blows a draft
From outside through a natural shaft.

From my vantage point I see
Beaten grass but not a tree.
Still, it lends a greenish sight
To a land of crimson light.

Imagine then, my great surprise
When I see life before my eyes.
A scorpion clattered, on its way,
To live or die another day.

Red sand, red sun, red blood, red heat
Combine to make this land complete
Until the summer rain arrives
To mold rock and beget new lives.

But I am not the only one
To see the thread of life here spun
On barefoot climbs and pilgrim trails:
The mother of a thousand tales.

It was no wonder that the sons
Of Nephi thought themselves the ones
That God had blessed; David's scion
Had led them to eternal Zion.

orion732
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orion732
617 posts
Nomad

Hmmm...I'm not sure mine quite counts as imagery. I wrote it for our english class one day. Here it is.

The Woodpecker

The woodpecker is hunting
seeking, searching, digging
for bugs to ease his hunger
in the dead of winter

His red painted head bobs
as he searches loudly
echoing through the forest
hunting his prey

He avoids the berries
red, poisonous, deadly
they grow next to him
as he bores holes in the bark
rough, scraping, clinging

A new hunter comes
crashing through the undergrowth
he flies, he flees, running
from this new danger

His feathers are cold
as he rushes through the frigid air
Suddenly, he is hurt, he hides
shivering, whimpering, frigid

All is dark.
silent, heavy, black

He feels warm hands
warm, whispering, wondering
He opens one beady eye

New hunters have come
but they help
heal, repair, aid
his wing so he can fly and hunt again.

orion732
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orion732
617 posts
Nomad

Hope you like it. : )

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

@orion732

Normally I'm not such a great fan of free verse, but this time it was done correctly. The synonyms and simpler vocabulary give the poem a sort of impact that would otherwise be lost. Somehow it manages to be minimal and yet substantive at the same time. I like it.

orion732
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orion732
617 posts
Nomad

you do? Cool. It was just sorta a spur of the moment thingy. Our teacher was talking about imagery, and she passed around some pictures. We each had to write a poem about the picture we got. Mine was a woodpecker on a tree with a red head. Growing next to him were some berries and there was snow on them.

JereN
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JereN
189 posts
Peasant

@thisisnotanalt

but the flow was somewhat sing-songy


it's pretty much the purpose but I don't really think I succeeded in it If you could any Finnish I could recommend a song for you so you could understand what I mean.

One band in Finland has few songs where, if you listen only to the music, it sounds quite happy and so, but when you listen to the words so they are somewhat dark

it is a really nice contrast you get and I like it
JereN
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JereN
189 posts
Peasant

Sorry for the double now..but
@thisisnotanalt

I forgot to thank you for good critics
I think you really need feedback on every work one does.

mokomonkey
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mokomonkey
50 posts
Nomad

Winged angels bring light
Beautiful glow in still night
Reveales secrets lost


This is somewhat of a riddle. Someone tell me what this is about and you win a special prize!!

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

Fireflies, maybe?

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