ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
  • 3,868 Replies
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

It's used as a gold purifier but it is highly toxic. I.e. kill you in 30 seconds toxic


7 secs, actually. If you get poisoned with it, and the antidote isnt already in the syringe, then your screwed. It can also go 'stale', makeing in not-lethal, but can still make you extremely sick.
nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,990 posts
Grand Duke

7 secs, actually. If you get poisoned with it, and the antidote isnt already in the syringe, then your screwed. It can also go 'stale', makeing in not-lethal, but can still make you extremely sick.


Remember boys and girls. Hitler ate cyanide and died.

Moral? If you want to go stlyishly, like a true Nazi and go down in history, cyanide's your best bet.
dudeguy45
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dudeguy45
2,917 posts
Peasant

Thing that don't impress me

Things that don't please
often have me on my knees
begging to stop


I like to make my self believe
that planet Earth turns slowly
But how can I?
Bustling streets
running feets
Slow it down, can we?

Why cut down a tree?
Either way, you'll pay a fee
we lived fine before, didn't we?

Bombing
shooting
suicides
oh my!
Why not give peace a try?

Feeding the beast isn't easy
when I'm always hungry
I start to feel queasy
I hate being starved

Little children know the rules, don't they?
It should be carved in their brain, if you ask me
Can't they see
I'm getting mad?

Even when I was a little lad
you can just ask my Dad
That mosquitoes cause me grief
And in bug spray, I have no belief
the little bugs latching on
endless Itching and scratching

So you see, I am rather modest
I love most things lest
I see one of the things that don't impress me

________________________________________________
Yea, I know, crap.

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

Decided to style this more like a rap this time instead my usual metrical poetry, because I feel like it. Based roughly on the instrumental for Tupac's Ambitionz as a Ridah (listen here).

Bustahs Can't Impress Me

Seen too many people vyin'
For my attention; I been
Hounded all the time
For just a tiny mention
Propaganda everywhere
But people unaware
Thinkin' status quo's
The only way to go
And here I am stuck wit'
All this artsy s***
I'll be through with this
Bustahs can't impress me.

Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer
But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter

Every side of the line I see
Hypocrisy
Bustahs fightin' so hard
Just can't come to agree
Bigots come before me and
Bounce and turn
Fend 'em off but they come
With an ounce to burn
Got a difference between
Fighting for your own cause
And shootin' your own foot
Exposin' your own flaws
Coming forward with their jaws of misery
Eschewing everything that's necessary
As soon as they come across
It's a battle lost cause
Bustahs can't impress me!

Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer
But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter

When you wept I came to you
With arms as a friend
When you're mad I remind you
That you'll see him again
But I found that it's a hoax
You switched me for some folks
Who feed you honey and coke
Attention grabbin'
It'll happen when they'll
Toss you again:
Lying in your pool
With your own blood and tears
No one feel your side
To heal those scars and fears
Stayin on the streets
Whores'll meet deceit
Diva thinkin' attention
Is all that's worth gettin'
Prophesy that you'll cry
When it comes for you
And then perhaps you'll see
Bustahs can't impress me!

Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer
But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter

Bustahs can't impress me!

dudeguy45
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dudeguy45
2,917 posts
Peasant

I liked you better when you did nice poetry. >.>

Krizaz
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Krizaz
2,399 posts
Nomad

[i]Ain't no turning back now
Thinkin' of it all
No one to go to
No one to impress
that don't make a poem
sounds weird
sounds strange
guess it just don't impress me much

It don't impress me
at all I mean
When it' all awkward an quiet
and your feet feel like they have slugs
between the toes
your stomach turn imward
your brain dries up
oh crap
that really sucks

I don't get impressed easily
I more of a
unimpressed personality
it don't come to often
that I marvel at something
it's mroe like a belch at something
probably you
since you don't impress me

Cause when you try to make a poem
and it has the word 'impress'
and it only rhymes with 'dress'
than your screwed
To the Max!!!
That really don't impress me

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

I liked you better when you did nice poetry. >.>


This week's theme doesn't really go well with happy-go-lucky/sentimental tetrameter. Pentameter, maybe, but I wasn't feeling it.
zlith
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zlith
1,252 posts
Nomad

I was very tired and this is not my best work.





things that don't impress me are all over the world
from one man bands to those "rare" pink pearls

the list is positively endless
oh were do I begin
maybe I should start, with the monster from Loch Ness
no no no, that's all wrong, my tempers drawing thin

will this torture ever end?
does everything impress me?!
...if I can't end this soon my madness will transcend
Oh, I've got it, I'm not impressed by my country

not guns or nukes can make up for this stupidity
America the free? or America the selfish
the news has good sources but I question their validity
if you see our dept its positively ghoulish

I could go on and on, our prosperity's outweighed
my country does not impress me
just like the leader of the USA
although this country has potential, so come and impress thee

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,990 posts
Grand Duke

I Don't Impress Myself

Come and stay my tears have flown,
To collect the dark things I've sown.
I'm disgusted by what I've done,
Down in the dumps I'm really no fun.

Bit the tasteless endless dust,
And collasped every single trust.
I'm not dazzled by what I've done,
And I can see why you want to run.

I was walking down that dark path.
While they tried to drag me in with wrath.
I'm not pleased with what I've done,
I shot an arrow and took your Sun.

I've lamented at my entire life,
And tried to end it all with my knife.
I'm not proud of what I've done,
Now I see why you'll always shun.

I've rejected all your help and care,
And thought my burden I could not share.
I'm not ecstatic of what I've done,
What a tangled web I have spun.

I don't impress myself,
And for that I'll erase thyself.
Watch as I wipe this slate white,
My smile's the last to fade from sight.

I'll come back with the old self,
And all the detested I will shelf.
I don't impress myself one bit,
And I will change that.

goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

You don't Impress me

You think you are smart
You think you are great
You think you are pretty
You think you are important

They say you are boring
They say you are lazy
They say you are crazy
They say you are evil

You think that you are the best
You think that everyone else is wrong
You think that you rule the world
You think that you can do what you want

They say you that you are good, but not the best
You really don't care, it's important only what you think
They say that you should work harder
You say that you don't have to, it's to easy for you

Now where are you?
Nobody knows

You should have listened what they say
Your huge ego ruined your life

wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

Really good poems so far ..remember only 1 day left until judging!

wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

OOPS! Sorry, my bad, I meant 2 more days until judging (well, technically, it's now 1 1/2 days left).

wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

Well, it's that time of the week again ...OK ...Here are the results for this weeks poetry contest ...
<drum roll>

NOTE: If you would like your poem critiqued, feel free to ask other members at the bottom of your poem post. Members will feel more free to voice their opinions if prompted to do so by the author. Thank you.



1st Place - Parsat

Bustahs Can't Impress Me

Seen too many people vyin'
For my attention; I been
Hounded all the time
For just a tiny mention
Propaganda everywhere
But people unaware
Thinkin' status quo's
The only way to go
And here I am stuck wit'
All this artsy s***
I'll be through with this
Bustahs can't impress me.

Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer
But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter

Every side of the line I see
Hypocrisy
Bustahs fightin' so hard
Just can't come to agree
Bigots come before me and
Bounce and turn
Fend 'em off but they come
With an ounce to burn
Got a difference between
Fighting for your own cause
And shootin' your own foot
Exposin' your own flaws
Coming forward with their jaws of misery
Eschewing everything that's necessary
As soon as they come across
It's a battle lost cause
Bustahs can't impress me!

Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer
But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter

When you wept I came to you
With arms as a friend
When you're mad I remind you
That you'll see him again
But I found that it's a hoax
You switched me for some folks
Who feed you honey and coke
Attention grabbin'
It'll happen when they'll
Toss you again:
Lying in your pool
With your own blood and tears
No one feel your side
To heal those scars and fears
Stayin on the streets
*****s'll meet deceit
Diva thinkin' attention
Is all that's worth gettin'
Prophesy that you'll cry
When it comes for you
And then perhaps you'll see
Bustahs can't impress me!

Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer
But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter

Bustahs can't impress me!


I liked the street appeal of your poem...it flowed perfectly, just like a well-written rap




2nd Place - nichodemus


I Don't Impress Myself

Come and stay my tears have flown,
To collect the dark things I've sown.
I'm disgusted by what I've done,
Down in the dumps I'm really no fun.

Bit the tasteless endless dust,
And collasped every single trust.
I'm not dazzled by what I've done,
And I can see why you want to run.

I was walking down that dark path.
While they tried to drag me in with wrath.
I'm not pleased with what I've done,
I shot an arrow and took your Sun.

I've lamented at my entire life,
And tried to end it all with my knife.
I'm not proud of what I've done,
Now I see why you'll always shun.

I've rejected all your help and care,
And thought my burden I could not share.
I'm not ecstatic of what I've done,
What a tangled web I have spun.

I don't impress myself,
And for that I'll erase thyself.
Watch as I wipe this slate white,
My smile's the last to fade from sight.

I'll come back with the old self,
And all the detested I will shelf.
I don't impress myself one bit,
And I will change that.


Definitely can feel the emotion of self-loathing in this poem, well done.



3rd Place - TSL3_needed


Things That Don't Impress Me

Few things impress me,
Including things I cannot see,
Like the simple fee,
For letting me be.

Things that impress me,
Never come to be,
And are few and far between,
Never getting seen.

Fights,
Lights,
Shovels
And snow.

Those do not impress me,
But are often the key,
To things that be,
And things we see.

All the ghosts,
The demons,
The banshees
And wraiths.

Those impress me,
But they are never seen,
Left to be,
Caught in the in between.

Cyanide,
Suicide,
Homicide,
Causing them to die.

The supernatural,
The paranormal,
The things we cannot explain,
Are things that impress me.

Few things else impress me,
Architecture,
Empires,
And forest fires.

Those impress me,
But rise and fall,
As life and death do,
As the tide of the pacific does.

Nothing else impresses me,
Not darkness,
Not war,
Not even the greatest natural forces.

Only the rare things impress me,
But nothing else does,
Things I never see,
Are things that impress me.



Really like the flow of this poem, nice job!



Honorable Mentions - dudeguy45 & krizaz




A huge THANKS to EVERYONE that participated in this weeks contest, and if your name wasn't mentioned this week, please keep on trying, and eventually you will see your name placed!


A round of applause to all this weeks participants!


Now, for this weeks theme ... this weeks theme is "Finding Oneself" . This can be a poem about you or someone close to you and the current or past path to finding yourself or themselves, like a "coming of age" poem. The deadline will be Wednesday, August 5th.

Good Luck to all of you and Happy poem writing!

wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

Note: Parsat, to make sure you get your merit, please post a message to Carlie that you won the poetry contest. Thanks!

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

Thanks very much, wistress. Glad you liked it.

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