ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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Moabarmorgamer
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Moabarmorgamer
8,570 posts
Nomad

Alright.
Back to poetry.
Erm...so I'm the new judge(=D), but I won't be starting yet.
And I've already entered this round.
Ah, well, nothing better than two entries to get it back onto poetry, eh?

All standing firm and tall
Break down the steadfast wall
It protects us all, and it is strong
But when it falls, well, not for long

Stone foundation, old and mighty
Break it down, don't do it lightly
It might be big, it might be thick
But in the end it falls, brick by brick
And it doesn't matter what it once was
It's ruined now, and all because

We thought it was big, we thought it was strong
We didn't protect it; it wouldn't last long
It protected us, now it has broken
Light and love, a dark, grim token
Of what once was
And could've been
But now it's all just at the end

It doesn't matter if it's ancient
Now it's just a saddened remnant
Shattered, defeated, no going back
And humility is what we lacked

Even if it's strong, it has fragility
It can be broken down, just like you or me
Now that it's gone, we all are done
The bloody dawn, quickly now run
The invaders are coming, the wall has been crushed
And driving us all into dust

I can't believe the wall has been rended
An ancient pillar, nonchalantly ended
And as its fragility is finally shown
All our abilities are finally gone
It's broken, it's shattered, accept it, please
And stare in wonder, fall on your knees

Our steadfast defender, it's in shambles now
I still can't believe it, why, when, how
Did they break it, or is it just in our dreams
Oh I wish it was, as I begin to hear the screams

I took a different angle with this one. Still not sure which is my official entry.

WoodyGuthrie
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WoodyGuthrie
185 posts
Nomad

go ahead and bring the mess and let it fill
the air of my wayward heart and rip at me until
the things you speak in jest and offer me at night
will come across the bedroom floor filled with ill-found spite
dream of the ones in which the devils name could easily be given
and to the last of the offered souls as they are driven
back to the depth of tarnished hands held up like a prize
and offered up to the last of the weak as their final selfish prize

rotate in the grasp and forgive your fearful ways
as you are struck to the core by its meek beastly ways
and remember when you come to the end of all man kind
that the shell is thin and offers you protection from the times
and remember not to work against the waves of the eastern shore
while the seamen and the birds compete for fish evermore
the wind is thick and violent bringing salt into the air
just because the sun is different doesn't mean you should stare

wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

OK ... entries for this week are closed ... I will be judging today.
Good Luck!

wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

JUDGING - THEME: FRAGILITY

Since we didn't have many entries this week I have placed only 3 poems. A huge THANKS to EVERYONE that participated in this weeks contest, and if your name wasn't mentioned this week, and you would like a comment on why, please message me and I will get back to you as soon as possible (please be aware that I am currently quite busy and it might take a few days to get back with an answer).

NOTE: Moat, since you did not pick your official entry by the deadline, I picked your first entry.

Now, for this weeks theme ... this weeks theme is "Our Environment" . This can be a poem about your own personal environment, the world's environment, or someone's environment from your perception. I will have Moat set the deadline since he will be judging. Thanks all and good luck!

Now for the judging . . .



1st Place - Moabarmorgamer

One choice can break it
One chance to make it
Look around, open your eyes
We think we are strong
Or at least, everyone tries
The facade won't last long

One person tips the scale
It could save us all
Or doom us to fail
Our sensitivity, fragility
Give us the ability
To break and to build
But which will occur
As we wait in the hills

Shatter!
And run for our homes
Go faster!
Just to find we're all alone
Collapse!
To be born again
Relax!
Just to fall in sin
Elapse!
Just to weaken again
Prolapse!
Just to live in the end

Building
Shattering
Building again
All our work blows away
Once again in the wind
Not tomorrow, not today
But maybe we can move forward
Instead of just back
Of our own accord
To find what we lack

Breaking down
Falling down
Fragile as ice
Back to the ground
It's all so precise
Anything can make it fall
But nothing can return it to tall

Crying again
Dying again
Or at least, inside
So you think you're my friend
Then why have you lied
Anything can break me down
But at least I don't break others
Just because I'm broken now



I like the the differing lyrical cadence found throughout the various verses of your poem. It makes your poem come to life and become more animated. Excellent poem!




2nd Place - TheWarTank33


Choices:

A kindom of glass,
Each has his own,
The proof of his life,
His existence alone.

Building for years,
Until he dies,
The choices he makes,
will choose his demise.

His kingdom is grand,
But built on the ground,
Just a little mistake,
Can bring it all down.

His choices define him,
Can give him a thrown,
Can make him a king,
Or leave him alone.

His choices, they make him,
Create him, to say,
He'll choose to be strong,
Or watch his thrown fade.



Simple and to the point. I can feel the grandness of who he is and the fragility of his choices. Good job.




3rd Place - Thyll

The human mind:
so simply defined,
Is a choice that you make
Was it a mistake?

Wondering what was
What could have been
What small flames of light
Were snuffed out between

The fingers of fate,
In their fragile state.
One little thing;
(A butterfly's wing)

And never could we exist
We would be gone
The world a chess board
The pieces withdrawn

No future played out
A world without
Humanity
We would never be


You did not need the last verse in this poem ... you could have definitely ended it at "the pieces withdrawn". However, I ignored the last verse and placed you 3rd because the rest of the poem is quite good. Well done.

OperationNilo
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OperationNilo
3,937 posts
Shepherd

The Savanna

Lions rest,
Zeebras feed,
Animals are free,
and they are filled with glee.

Untill hunters come,
they kill these animals,
they eat their flesh,
those evil men.

After this,
settlers come,
they build high towers,
they build concrete jungles.

Where are the animals?
Those original natives?
They're lost, dead,
hunted, bewared.

This is what's happening,
as savannas disappear,
where are our natural comrades?
Those beautiful things.


Very short, yes.

Moabarmorgamer
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Moabarmorgamer
8,570 posts
Nomad

Thanks, wistress.
So, who do I talk to for my merit?
Alright people, I'm the new judge(yay!), as you probably know(if you've been paying any attention at all). So, the deadline for this contest is Monday, November 9(I don't really need to say the year, do I?). Good luck and have fun!

OperationNilo
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OperationNilo
3,937 posts
Shepherd

Finally... I may have a chance to win, since you're judge now.

Moabarmorgamer
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Moabarmorgamer
8,570 posts
Nomad

Finally... I may have a chance to win, since you're judge now.

And how would my being judge affect your chances of winning? Just curious.
OperationNilo
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OperationNilo
3,937 posts
Shepherd

Because, you can't post poems to enter the competition if you're judge.

Moabarmorgamer
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Moabarmorgamer
8,570 posts
Nomad

Because, you can't post poems to enter the competition if you're judge.

Ahhh...haha, I see. I've only won once, though, just now. I think it'd be better for your chances if, say, Nicho or Alt became judge.
Anyways, I'll just go be bored now, because the deadline isn't for a week. So I have nothing more to do here yet.
Buh-bye!
OperationNilo
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OperationNilo
3,937 posts
Shepherd

I've only won once, though

I know, but, almost everytime you made an entry, it ranked above mine.
I think it'd be better for your chances if, say, Nicho or Alt became judge.

I don't understand why.

Well, bye!
TheWarTank33
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TheWarTank33
1,081 posts
Nomad

Finally... I may have a chance to win, since you're judge now.


haha, um, hey, don't forget me :P I've entered three times, and only two times was i serious. I got third and second those times.
tegan190
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tegan190
783 posts
Nomad

ok heres mine

The fragility of life
The fragility of culture
The fragility of the city
The fragility of privacy
The fragility of freedom
The fragility of existence
The fragility of the moment
The fragility of the individual
The fragility of body language
The fragility of communication
The fragility of human emotions
The force and fragilities of nature

the_manta
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the_manta
4,536 posts
Peasant

Damn.

Forgot again.

*sigh*

Oh well. I'll make a poor one, then be so embarrassed by it that I'll be forced to come back later and fix it.


The fragility of life
The fragility of culture
The fragility of the city
The fragility of privacy
The fragility of freedom
The fragility of existence
The fragility of the moment
The fragility of the individual
The fragility of body language
The fragility of communication
The fragility of human emotions
The force and fragilities of nature


A bit late for that...
wistress
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wistress
262 posts
Peasant

Thanks, wistress.
So, who do I talk to for my merit?


Just message Carlie and let her know you won.
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