ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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EnterOrion
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EnterOrion
4,220 posts
Nomad

Running Out

Churning the air, my lungs start to sear,
The pain within unspoken fear;
Soon my time is up forever,
Soon without my life will sever.

Clinging to life while my blood inflates,
With the air running out, Hell awaits;
I would scream if I could, but the vacuum stops,
All around the people drop.

Soon without air, I will join them,
Hell awaits, this I condemn;
My life force draining, my head exploding,
The ship starts to creak, before imploding.

Hopefully I'm not too late . . . .

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,386 posts
Shepherd

@Orion, I am not sure because The deadline was the 17th, and urs is stamped 18th. But they should put it in anyways because it is really cool.

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

I'll let it slide. Anyway, no more submissions below dis post.

I'll have the judging in tonight or tomorrow at the latest.

kingryan
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kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

I think the name should be changed from 'Weekly' to just Poetry Contest...

Because it isn't really weekly is it?

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,386 posts
Shepherd

YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH! I have been waiting anxiously to find out the results! But now I have to wait until the WEEK starts, which is when I am never on. BLEH.

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

yea, if it wasnt weekly then I would have enough time to collect enough for the bribes.

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
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Shepherd

Hehe. Judging coming up tonight.

DDX
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DDX
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Nomad

awwwww alt, :c you should hurry up

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
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Shepherd

Heeeere's the judging~! Due to my illness, this judging will be a bit more brief than my other one. Sorry, but my prednisone makes it difficult to type~

I'll judge the winner and the runnerups. Due to the number of entries, I will judge only 3 runnerups. I guess they'll be like the honorable mentions.

HONORABLEUPS/RUNNERMENTIONS

DDX - Trapped Air

I am but trapped air within you,
Embody something that should be free.
Maybe that one thing you had, or was it two?
Just be in someplace private is the key.

You know, so sorry we were never meant to be,
around the globe and seven seas.
We both live as separate entities.
I try to force myself out when you pee.

Cmon bud, don't be sad.
sometimes there are things you lack
if anything you should be glad.
self control just can't be packed.

Now disgusting as this may be
Amorphously I'll escape with ease.
silent and deadly like the bees
you'll feel nothing but a breeze.

Insidiously I creep around
I slither everywhere unbound
As I waft up to your nose and astound
your senses will be gunned down

The squeeze of your buttocks pushes me through
The contraction of intestine creates my lore
Once you smell me you will spew
what was once your lunch before.

I am that flatulence from whom you could not pin
Where every evil man comes to sin
I live in the bathroom of the tainted air
My brother feces and I make a fearsome pair

I never thought I'd be praising a fart poem . . . meh, fml. While your subject matter could not be less serious, the general rhythm and rhyme are infectious(hahaha). This is what puts this down as a runnermention/honorableup. It's a good poem. It was also tough to judge because of the subject matter related to the overall high quality of the poem -_-

Choazeh - Air

You cannot see it,
taste it,
but feel it.
As it bristles through the great willows.
Whispering your name.

It's impecable greateness,
fluid motions,
antiquity.
As it brings the sweet aromas of life.
Mocking you.

It holds what we breath,
it's something we never understood,
a force of nature,
strong, yet gentle,
right here right now.
Beneath the blossoms of the tree.
Living our last moments.
We breath it in.

The first and third stanzas are great, lilting and soft like the wind it portrays. The second one is rough around the edges, most notably the third line, which is a it stubby. You also may want to try manipulating the punctuation in stanza 2 a bit so as to help along the flow.



MoonFairy - The Aiiiiir is aaaaaaliiiiive, with the Souuuund of the Aiiiiiir, which is Aliiiiiiive, with the souund of Oh you get the iiiideaaaaaa~~~~

The wind is strong,
The breeze is sincere,
All throughout life,
We hold our air dear.
We breathe it in,
We breathe it out,
Without air we couldn't talk,
Without air we couldn't shout.

Air makes up you,
Air makes up me,
And we thank it,
By cutting down the trees.
We are killing it,
While it lets us live,
Now if you think that is fair,
You must not know how we could give.

We should recycle,
As a token of our thanks,
So life can go on,
As we give what we take.
Air is sweet,
Air is kind.
It lets our boats sail,
It's what gives life to your mind.

So next time time you take a smoke,
Or next time you throw away plastic,
Remember that you are giving life,
That last one was sarcastic. ;P
Let's keep our grass green,
Let's keep our oceans blue,
Let's keep the air clean,
Because if not,
It will eventually kill you.

This is an exuberant and energetic poem. I like the bouncy rhyme of it. The 2nd stanza has a hiccup or two, but it recovers and soars through to the end. Overall, a commendable poem.

AAAAAAAAND THE WINNER IS, ONE OF THE MANY ARMORGAMERS TIED FOR AG'S FAVORITE ASIAN, THE POETIC AND PHILOSOPHICAL PAAAARSAAAAT!!

Free Radicals

Man:
Up and up it runs, behold!
Invisible, the highest spire
Made of motion, icy cold
To funnel up the moving gyre
That burns my skin like flying fire
And fills my lungs to full inspire.
Each breath I siphon up, my heart
Will pump and beat, will stop and start;
You nourish us, you are required,
Why must you force us to depart?

Air:

Things
fall
apart...

The center cannot hold.

I really love this poem, from the windy and practically perfect meter to the flowing rhymes. The title fits perfectly, and I love how it conveys both the windedness of man and the succinctness of the air itself. This is an exceptionally constructed and delivered poem that certainly deseres the merit its getting.

New Theme: Stealth

Deadline: Monday, April 26

EnterOrion
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EnterOrion
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Nomad

Aw, I was hoping to make runner up. Oh well, better luck next time.

Anyways, stealth. Hehe, perfect scheme for my favorite topic: Darkness. Yipee!

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

Tied for AG's favorite Asian? Well, I'll be. I'm pretty sure I'm just a bit more blatant about it than most people. :P

And Stroppy doesn't count, he's a horse/<insert furry creature>.

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

dix yo, I burned like half an hour coming up with the sick rhymes :c

cheers alt, trust yo judgement.

Graham
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Graham
8,051 posts
Nomad

I sneak up on you
and then I pee on you.


END

Ithikhar
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Ithikhar
60 posts
Shepherd

How oft doth the night
hold secrets untold,
from everyone's sight
except those of old?

The stealthy remain
in night's dark duvet
searching and seeking
new quarry and prey.

But truly I say,
you needn't dismay
by those who remain
in night's dark duvet.

For here I will be
and here will I stay,
to protect you from those
in night's dark duvet.

But one day will come,
when you are alone,
when the trees will creak
and shiver and groan.

'Tis then you must learn,
to still your own heart,
and hold to these words
when life falls apart:

"Have faith my small son,
for dawn comes this way,
to fend of the foes
in night's dark duvet."

With this in your head,
you've nothing to fear
betwixt the few hours
when darkness is here.

How oft doth the night,
hold secrets untold?
From you it doth not!
My brave son of old!

Ithikhar
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Ithikhar
60 posts
Shepherd

Whoops, I need a title... how about, Secrets of the Night

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