First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
All right, this was even tougher than the Pulse one. Everyone was worthy of placing in this one, fer srs.
Moar honorable mentions. I'm throwing the usual format out the window because I have almost a four-way tie for first place. I'll crit the four that I chose, and I'll mention in the crit who won. I'm short on time here, so if you want an in-depth crit on your piece - whether you placed or not - message me on my profile and I'll oblige you soon enough.
1.3rd place, a great submission with a different type of shock, Wolf!
Within these silent rooms The pacing yet to cease. I pass the time of night and day And wallow in my grief. Oh fair wonder of the world. Oh angel in my waking eye What beast have I become? What wicked soul am I? Black hearted ambitions Which were filled with good intention Have led me down this path Of war and grieving aftermath. Where the sun rose red and bloody And set over fields of crimson red I have destroyed thy beauty In one grave you lie dead. Here marches the legions That I have spawned forth Through wicked thought and deed Good thoughts are not my worth. For here in Hell I shall abide With wicked words upon my tongue. These thoughts and actions I have made And the world has become undone.
Ah yes, this is a great poem. There's a visceral, cerebral quality to it that is really fantastic, and the flow and rhyme are wonderful. It's a sort of guilty shock, and with the attention-to-detail you pay to make that feeling ring true, you couldn't ask for a much better submission.
1.2nd place, a fantastic piece from one of our favorite wordsmiths, Zoark!
Atop a black mane sits an ivory tower jutting out roughly showing it's power The tuft of cream against the darkness behind conjures an image of rebellion to mind A streak of brilliance across the pitch seen as unsightly begins to itch Effort despite, the eccentric pyre becomes an anomaly a signal fire Ashen fibre shows noncompliance individuality a constant annoyance Chemical warfare tries to defy the bleached variance has a reply Amongst the raven, pallid seizing lies the stripe teasing, teasing
As usual, you deliver a piece with great rhyming and near-immaculate flow. The imagery you put forward is awesome, and slightly abstract - it fits the theme well, albeit differently than the other submissions. Quite good, quite good.
1.1st place, a great poem from everybody's favorite Quebecian, Fallen!
They gave me ink, sheets and a feather To create life out of thin air Cooped in my prayer capsule, I wonder Whom shall create my flair Closure, yet measureless spaces They galore here; of both I need Eye of eyes; omnipercipient races The void surges as a gleaming bleed For a page is thought before it is written A conception to take place upon blank So fare thee well upon those lines given; Expanding traits in an infinite prank Drawn on a canvas of many dreams Reality may be a ticking clock And as appaling as it seems We live, die and rot in a shock As ideas upon a mind As the universe now blind
WOnderful, as usual. This submission is vibrant and imaginative, with fantastic flow and great rhyming. Like Zoark, you do a great job showing the poem, not telling it, and as such it is a strong piece. Very good.
1st place, our merit-winner, the always-fantabuloustic Parsat!
My fingers ran through the raven locks, The raven locks that cascaded softly Across her face--the pair of almond eyes And innocently flushed cheeks--and down A length just long enough to hide her breasts. When I ran my fingers through her hair, I did with fingers parted like a comb And delicately, without a rush, Broke all the light resistance in that hair, The locks within the locks that could be picked With fingers made to press piano keys. And when she kissed me, her hands went into A shock of dense hair from my mother's side-- Not dry or oily, rough or soft or silken. She grasped as one would grasp a tiny mouse, With fingers comfortingly curled to make A safe and warm enticing home, a lure: Her hands were often cold, you see, and she Became the one to seek heat from a source Whose lifeblood was not electricity. But Samson was not strong at all, he fell And bowed with face hung to a woman loved. His shorn locks fell, and all his oaths and strength Dissolved and left him powerless in shame. My love, did I betray the secret of your heart? That all the promises and loving strength Nurtured by the works of Passion's hands Were killed maliciously by wetted steel? When basic treatment finished were you shocked To find that I was not the man you knew to love? The faults of Eve and Samson both combined So that a girl was now a woman new; But Adam did not sin, and to his shock, His paradise was still forever lost.
A beautiful submission with well-done Biblical references, your piece combines the best of all the others. The flow of it is so perfect, it's better without rhyming - blank verse was a good choice. The emotion you're able to get across is fantastic, and overall this is a well-rounded submission that you got another merit with.
The four of us here again, for yet another challenging battle. Parsat was up and at it again, and even though I'm not sure to deserve the privilege of placing first over wolf and zoark, I'm glad about the results of that round...Now, it's time another epic skirmish bursts here in the poetry thread; good luck to all! Or maybe that Quebecian should say: Bonne chance!
Waves, huh? Wow...uhmm...all I can say is, you like to pick eclectic topics. I'll give it a shot, but no promises.
The waves of the ocean Crash against rocky shores Just like a nagging notion They keep knocking at your door
There are different waves They're electromagnetic Similar, but not enclave Some laze*, some are frenetic
Radio waves are very weak** But very strong as well Their wavelengths, long and meek But they also guide your cell
Microwaves*** heat your food But on the scale, they're low Without them, we are screwed But their energy? So-so
Infrared is cool It lets you see things that are hot It can be used as a tool But it's still fun if you're not
Here is visible light The stuff that you can see It's dear to my heart Because without it there's no sight It's just a tiny part**** But it's vital to you and me So I'm giving it extra space On my poem here Because it should get a place Since we all hold it so dear
Ultraviolet ain't so cool It gives your skin sun burns Use sunscreen, don't be a fool! Oh well, I guess you'll learn
And here are awesome x-rays They see through all your skin Uhmm...why aren't they called waves? I guess it's cuz they win xP
Finally, there's gamma rays Radioactive stuff With that, you shouldn't play Eh, they don't sound so tough =(]
And now, my poem's through and done Is that a relieved face? >=( I know my rhythm tends to run But I hope that I can place
*Laze, here, is being used as a verb. **By weak, I mean "low in energy". ***There are microwaves, but I mean the wave type of microwave, the stuff that is in the big microwaves. Okay, now I'm confusing myself. Time to stop. You know what I mean, don't be a smart aleck. ****...of the electromagnetic spectrum. Also: I placed italics in the poem to signify that you're speaking. I thought it would add...flavor, for lack of a better word.
I'm not sure if I wanna enter this round. I think I'd rather write a fruity rock song about this girl with really curly hair and lots of emotional problems instead.
