Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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Ok, this was a rather hard contest to judge. That is mostly because Parsat seems to have been the only person to have actually understood the theme. Unfortunatly, I cannot give the prize to Parsat, since he already won last week.
So, I award the Honorable Mention of Being Awesome to Parsat, for On the Hunt Or, Please Don't Ban Me, This Is Just For a Contest:
This thing, it was so long and hard,
It forced itself midway;
I screamed and gasped for much more air
(Is this a porn cliche?)
It penetrated in the depths
Of an organ soft and pink,
It drove itself in all so hard
I really couldn't think.
It attacked me in from the front,
From sideways and the rear;
It came in flows and quickish spurts
(This is really getting queer).
Since you have fallen for my bait,
I really must explain
The "it" refers to this contest;
The "organ" is my brain.
I was quite strapped for good ideas
Until I wrote this down.
Hyperbole, yes, it's the friend
Of perv-hunters all around.
Choosing first place was hard, because I had to decide whether to judge it by the awesomeness of the poem, or how close it got to adhering to the contest's theme. I have decided that the Awesome gap between the first and second place poems is larger than the theme gap. That being said,
lol, I'm thinking about making the grand prize for this round a ban instead of a merit :P And Strop, Parsat already won last week >
1st Place goes to Strop, for Srs biznis
When you've put your foot in it,
When it hits the fan,
When you hit return and then wonder,
If you might face a ban,
Reaching for the panic button,
Hit control and zed,
But you've already posted,
It will haunt you till you're dead,
No matter what the gaffe,
You needn't really bother,
You can always claim the keys,
Were right next to each other,
On the internet you'll never win,
You say yes they see no,
Coz in the land of stupid arguments,
F*** you means hello.
Second place is going to be awarded to kingryan's Out of Context, for the reasons stated above.
A man said he saw a fish.
I thought he said a dish.
I ran to sea to have a look,
and on the way I met a cook.
The cook was looking for a wish,
and was with a girl named Tish.
We found a very small nook,
And a very sharp fishing hook.
Now a man did say he caught a fish,
I did think he'd caught a dish.
And third goes to Aaroniscool for Idk :P:
I was sitting on my room, eatin AG's,
candied brooms, bananas and delicious peas.
One broom splintered in my mouth and I yelped and I cried.
When the pain subsided, I thought to myself.
"Money really is the root of all evil"
There will not be a dishonorable mention this week, since it was melded into the first place prize. Now, for the new theme: It appears that Winter is here, and with it all the joy and cheer of the holiday season. During this time, there is an unseen force. A power so great, it could be said that it drives the very spirit of he holidays. This force, which will also be your theme for this week's contest, is...
*drumroll*
STROP, THE CHRISTMAS NINJA
Thanks to all who participated, and have fun with this week's theme! If you would rather write a poem on "Strop, the Kwanzaa Ninja," or "Strop the Hanukkah Ninja," feel free. As long as it involves a winter holiday.