Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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Looking at my past,
I caused all their pain:
Hope no longer lasts;
Nothing to regain.
I can not retract
All the wrongs I've done,
Every day ill-spent;
Nothing truly won.
And there is no peace:
For those who were maimed;
Their pain will not cease.
Therefore, I'm ashamed.
No amount of tears
Could ever replace
Those who lived in fear
And died in disgrace.
What have I to say?
I'm but a man with no right to gain mercy:
my wrongs too great, the lament too powerful.
How could I, this wretch, who lead this life
of lust, of greed, of utmost disgrace, be redeemed?
Who could forgive such a man as I?
For the sorrow I've caused, to me, and to others,
be immeasurable. Redemption now beyond grasp...
Or is it?
Could there be some greater being, larger than I
that could forgive, nay, forget this terrible doing?
Perhaps there is hope, for amazing grace,
for incredible mercy, for forgiveness.
Could this really be?
1 more day indeed. There will be judging, since three entries have come up!
Task force B
When I dream, I see them ly.
or when I close my weary eyes
What we have done in UkraÃn.
so devious, yet so keen.
The master race to rule them all,
the master race to quickly fall,
the fascist ways a thousand years,
a thousands bombs, a thousand tears.
I don't walk in forests more
'cause when I smell it's lovely floor,
It reminds me of deeds long past,
how we destroyed, unsurpassed.
The Aran race to rule them all,
the Aran race to quickly fall,
the German Reich a thousand years,
a million rounds, a million tears.
My own arrogance shields myself,
but what excuse have you yourself?
Did you not know, did you not hear,
we built this Reich for a thousand year?
What we have done in the Soviet State,
pure conclusion of ice-cold hate.
What kind of evil we produced,
haben Sie nimmer gewusst?
I was banking on the fact that the deadline would be extended. And it was such a good topic...
You've got about 2 hours if you want to submit something...
2 hours
*facepalms*
I was going by central time where I am. You've got 50 minutes.
By this time, entries are closed. The results will be posted tomorrow.
All right, the judging is here! (Finally. :P)
I really liked the theme that wolf chose, because the theme itself holds so much potential. Entire stories and epics are devoted to this theme because of the hope it gives to man: The hope that no matter how twisted and evil man is, there is still a part of them that can be redeemed for light. So besides looking at the four components of poetry while reading your poems (form, prosody, diction, and meaning), I paid very special attention to this theme of redemption. Mind you, redemption carries two parts: The broken past, and the healing of this brokenness in the present or the future. It was very interesting, therefore, to see how each poet lay on this spectrum.
Bronze: waluigi--Redemption?
What have I to say?
I'm but a man with no right to gain mercy:
my wrongs too great, the lament too powerful.
How could I, this wretch, who lead this life
of lust, of greed, of utmost disgrace, be redeemed?
Who could forgive such a man as I?
For the sorrow I've caused, to me, and to others,
be immeasurable. Redemption now beyond grasp...
Or is it?
Could there be some greater being, larger than I
that could forgive, nay, forget this terrible doing?
Perhaps there is hope, for amazing grace,
for incredible mercy, for forgiveness.
Could this really be?
On the middle of the spectrum, we have the narrator of waluigi's poem. Stewing in sin and guilt, the narrator is ultimately indecisive, wanting to grasp the hope of a higher redemption, but painfully feeling how far from the mark he is. The free verse style is prose-like in feel, but I think the parallelism between the first and third stanzas underscores the fact that the narrator innately knows that redemption is indeed possible.
Silver: EmperorPalpatine--No Redemption
Looking at my past,
I caused all their pain:
Hope no longer lasts;
Nothing to regain.
I can not retract
All the wrongs I've done,
Every day ill-spent;
Nothing truly won.
And there is no peace:
For those who were maimed;
Their pain will not cease.
Therefore, I'm ashamed.
No amount of tears
Could ever replace
Those who lived in fear
And died in disgrace.
On one extreme of the spectrum, we have Emperor Palpatine with a more fatalistic twist. What's done is done, and not even a penitent heart can offer redemption to the sinner. What is more, it goes as far to make the argument that there will always be guilt there...the sinner is never quite whole again once that evil is committed.
Gold: zakyman--
Catch
My work day was done
And I only felt like lying on the couch
Perhaps watching the football game too
My son had other plans
"Do you want to play catch?"
He said with an eager face and eyes
How could I refuse
But I did
"I am too tired,"
I called out
"Maybe tomorrow."
That was a lie
The next day I returned home
"Do you want to play catch?"
I had a business call
And I could not put it off
"Sorry son,"
I said
"But I have work to do."
Tomorrow I would surely play catch
The years went by
My son forgot about his glove
It grew dusty and reeked of mildew
I still had not played catch with my son
He started driving today
He took his car out for a spin
It was on the news later tonight
The boy was in the ICU
Tears welled up in our eyes
As the doctor told us the news
Our son will never walk again
His spine was shattered
He got home from the hospital
Not remembering his own bedroom
My wife and I cried
Seeing his lost face
He wheeled out into the garage
And knocked a few things over
Something caught his eye
It was his glove
"Do you want to play catch?"
He said with eager face and eyes
How could I refuse
"Let's play."
Although not the most technically able poem I've read, there was a charm about it and an effective pacing that really allowed it to hit home. The narrative freely moves between introspection, description, and action very well. Could definitely be more effective with edits on grammar and perhaps a tweaked word here and there, but I think that this poem had a lot of punch to it. Hence, zakyman receives the merit!
Today is the anniversary of the first poetry contest (on this thread, not the old thread). Yes, 316 pages and 3 years ago, this page was created! In honor of this anniversary, the theme for the next 11 days is the same as that first theme: Epic poetry! We're talking long, heroic, and grand in scope. The deadline for this is going to be Sunday, September 11. Have fun!
the theme for the next 11 days is the same as that first theme: Epic poetry!
Great topic. Maybe I will post something even though I can't compete this time around.
zakyman: You can't win the merit this week, but you can certainly get an honorable mention.
You can't win the merit this week, but you can certainly get an honorable mention.
Since I can't win, can I write multiple poems?
Since I can't win, can I write multiple poems?
Rules on page 1: "Only one submission per user will be accepted"
I guess you could write a bunch and just pick the one you like the best.
Thread is locked!