Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
3rd Place: DrElmer
The poem is extremely short, and therefore there is little for me to say in terms of critique. However, with such few words you did manage to capture the human element within the solar system and out limits within it. However, I encourage that you expand upon the theme at greater length, or at least a few more lines, if only to flush out the ideas and theme more concretely.
2nd Place: waluigi
As you said the rhymes to become more strained as the poem continues. Furthermore, this affects the flow and metre of the poem, causing some problems in how one should read it. Structurally your poem is sound, and it reflects the theme in a very physical manifestation. While I applaud your diction and your efforts to spice up your poem I would have prefered something a little more restrained. I feel the poem would have been more effective with a simpler choice of vocabulary, however, you do add a sense of grandness, so there is a trade off. Overall a good job.
1st Place and Winner: TopRank_
Congratulations. Your poem has an very strong emotional and psycological imagery. Your description is rather varying and I found it to be distracting at times. Howevere, the most ingenious portion of the poem is the question of existence, and that of god. I found these to have a theological feel to them, which worked extremely well despite the theme being something naturally scientific. My major criticism is your grammar and punctuation. Your lack of capitalization and jarring halts with periods, and lack of commas, semicolons causes this poem to lose a lot of potential. I strongly suggest you brush up upon such things should you enter in the future. Yet, despite all this the poem is extremely well put together.
The next theme shall be: Sword and Sorcery
I would like to put the poetry contest back on a ten day per round scheduel, therefore the deadline is: August 22, 2012.
Back with a curtal sonnet. You can picture this in any era you want; personally, I prefer the Warring States Period in ancient China.
The Hermit's Cackle
I will not proudly wave my country's flag
Nor bow in vassalage unto my lord.
I will not conjure up a single charm
For petty conflicts when republics brag.
I will not draw my sharpened skillful sword
To bring a foreign stranger any harm.
You see, when long ago I made my name,
Your foppish father feared my martial craft.
Though all I gained had all been stripped away,
Somehow, in banishment I found no shame.
In fact, I could have laughed.
People should get to know more about Chinese history, thank you Parsat!
Though I don't think there were republics at all ehe.
Tis will be my first entry ever.
Dead
The land I travel slowly; unto dimly lit rows,
I tardily advance toward an endless source of woes.
And whether day or night: engulfed in darkness verily,
Not to explain it airily...
But I'm reknowned throghout the land.
I am a shaman, binder - grand
Within the circle'o the occult.
I speak with dead, that's my exult.
I cleanse the living, that's my task.
And smiting evil, that's my bask.
"Show yourselves, thee evil souls!
From your vile and wretched holes,
And lo, for braught here I hath been
By King Arsenium the Quin!" -
- In the center corridor
Thundered I, the orator.
Little time for me was left:
Moaning ghouls and shades bereft,
Ghosts, and shadows, and a lich,
Creeping dead covered in midge,
Zombies crawling unrestored,
And vampires lead the horde.
I knew t'was no time for slumber;
They were more than I could number,
But I had faith in the divine,
Knew my god's power was mine.
And from my scabbard I released,
My father's sword, whom I have missed.
Its hilt was as that of a lord,
Edge of a finely crafted sword.
But more, it shone with my desire,
For all my foes dead in a fire.
A mighty swing was all it took -
Ignite a few, the rest rebuke.
The flames of ardor made them suffer,
When they fought back, my faith as buffer,
And my swordsmanship took 'em down.
If shades had faces, they would frown,
As even incorporeals I struck,
The vampires, more, were out of luck.
Nearing the end of my exalted
Slaughter of the dead, I halted.
There was an eerie sound nearby,
And there, couldn't believe my eyes!
Floated my father, as a ghost:
Without legs and without a nose.
Translucent lips a sigh evaded:
"So many years for you I've waited!"
"But...dad? How come? How can it be?"
"You see, you see,
T'was long ago,
When you were small, and crops were low.
A hag descended on my land,
With a deal I could not withstand."
"What was it?" "She'd make lettuce grow
But if I died in battle, I was to bind my soul
To this dungeon. And so you know...
An axe strike was just how I'd go."
"And went, you not."
"Stood with this lot.
This evil lot
Of which you saved me..."
"But I should bring you too nepenthe...
As binder, shaman, man of word,
Blood still ain't water, but I'm sworn..."
"Oh son, please, do not speak that way!
Oh, how I miss the light of day...
Give me a bady to walk free."
"But that's necromancy!"
"Indeed,
And without it, I can't be freed."
I pondered hard and bode my time.
He was my father, my blood, MINE!
But who was I? A cleanser, pure,
Oath to my god, I would for sure,
Endure any temptation...
Close my imagination.
And that's exactly what I did
"Father, advance.""As you say, kid
Wait, what is with that glowing globe
Which you have tucket from 'neath your robe?"
I said no word, listened to none,
On globe I sprinkled chicken bone.
The spell was set, sorcery primed,
Perfectly chimed, perfectly timed.
I honed my skill. Had no remorse.
Come on, father, bring out your worse.
But all he did was cry alone,
Fading away, through spell of bone.
I found myself sighing in tears.
What have I done...but then, the years
Of banishing came kicking in.
And then I said: "Father, give in,
I hate to banish you this way,
You are my blood, you were my ray."
"Then why, my son...you went ahead?"
"I realised...yes, you are dead."
Though I don't think there were republics at all ehe.
LOL, that's true. The concept of a "republic" is a very western ideal. Ah well, if you'd like an alternate wording to better fit the time period, you can use "the kingdoms" instead of "republics."
ok, my poem was in no way good, but other than the first place winner it was the only origonal one of the bunch. the solar system doesnt lend well to origonality, because everything that can be said has, but still. mine was tacky, had bad timing and poor grammer, but at least it had a spark of quirkyness while everything else was similar to. everything else about the solar system. and to my credit at least i didnt go for any uranus jokes. im not complaining that i didnt place, just that everything lacked origonality, save the first prize winner.
Try and try again MrDavid. Otherwise all shall be lost and the McGuffin of McGuffiny-ness shall DESTROY THE WORLD!
Or, simply enter again!
So, just realized my post got approved on the previous page . Jolly. can't wait to see the other entries. Nice one, btw, Parsat.
I asked Strop, but I have no idea which mods are still even active here. :\\
The Duel
Like the jolly musketeer of yore,
I pranced, twirled and clashed for,
A chance open to none but one,
Luckless rogue, come and be undone.
French Rapiers jostling for contact,
One lunges forward, the other retracts,
Whilst the ladies gasped and tittered,
By our glittering duel, were bewitched.
Some  strange Divine perchance,
Fumbles upon and breaks his lance,
One maestro sighs but laughs aloud,
Blue blooded gentlemen after a bout.
And you offered your dainty hand,
Enthralling looks of the latest trend,
Camphored and powdered to beguile,
The naive youth with a delicate style.
Some accursed sorcery of your sex,
Lures and tempts with a flirty hex,
Which I above all would die for,
Killed and cold on the marble floor.
Fortune is a fickle strumpet,
Yet it delivered you to me,
My worn out blade sheathed,
The duel plays out to its end.Â
Two men fighting over a lady. I hope you got the innuendos inside....
Hey guys, I have been out of commission for a while. Anyway, I checked back on my last poem and was elated to find that I had won first place. I have never placed before. And to wolf, about that punctuation, I was trying something new. Almost in the style of e.e. cummings, but now I see that it doesn't exactly work for me. Well, I'll have my new poem in soon. Nice work nick.
Well, the round closes at 11:59pm EST tonight and we only have three entries. Yes, the round is official, but please, if you can submit something!
Thread is locked!