Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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As the day goes away
And the night become awake
As the sun say goodbye
And the full moon comes singing a la-la by
We see it
We study it
We sometimes admire it
and yeah
It is the full moon
not a coo ba-foon
Apologies for the lateness, but I finally did it. In this contest we have two finalists, one of whom is the merit winner. I've divided them into two phases of the moon.
Waxing Moon: TackyCrazyTNT
I am what they want me to be,
A figurative white page,
They could need a source of light
And I'd steal my brother's rays.
Or sometimes in me they see
A face that's looking down,
My face, that is, eyes opened wide,
Mouth twisted in a frown.
On other days they do insist,
A woman's on my skin,
Trapped up high in my domain,
Punishment for her sins.
They have declared me magical,
A source of mystery,
Turning men into gray wolves,
On some shadowy eve.
If they wish me to captivate,
I'll readily comply,
Inspiring men to create art,
Eyes fixated on the sky.
They choose to honor me once a year,
Baking themselves cakes to eat.
Though I work so very hard for them,
I've never once received a treat.
For though I try my very best
To please them as I pass,
My brother always comes first, it's true
That nice guys finish last.
If I can use the Chinese terminology, this poem exuded a sort of passive-aggressive yang that I haven't really seen associated with the moon, traditionally viewed as the yin to the sun. I really liked how you tied together so many different mythologies and lore about the moon and coalesced it into this poem. Although it ends with a bit of bitterness, I think you do a good job of painting a side of the moon we don't think of often...the dark side of the moon.
Waning Moon: JereN
At dusk she wakes,
at dawn she sleeps.
Stalker of the night,
as pale as a sheet.
Comfort to some,
terror to others.
Worshiped by one,
feared by another.
Lady of the dark,
sometimes so shy.
Luna is her name,
the traveler on the sky.
This poem, on the other hand, was more yin in its message. Although the rhythm isn't perfect, I feel the short lines and briefness of the poem reflects the simple beauty of the moon itself. In some areas she is ghostly, apparition-like, but I like that the last stanza puts such a viewpoint as misunderstood.
So who came out on top? In the end, I feel that JereN's poem showed a greater aesthetic in its restraint and a better mastery over the overall portrayal, although Tacky's poem was perhaps more technically able. Therefore, JereN is this contest's merit winner! Please contact a mod for your merit.
This next theme will be a very open-ended but rather challenging one, because for the first time in a long while the theme will be to write in a certain form: the haibun. The haibun is unusual in that it is the combination of a short prose section with a haiku. If you would like examples of haibun and a link to a tutorial, you can see this link. Good luck to you all! Submissions will be due on October 21. I look forward to reading your poems!
The theme is the haibun. The subject of your piece is up to you; it just has to be a haibun.
The Mightiest Rock
Slowly the river
Will wear down the mightiest
Rock. All yield to it.
-----
Hang-over induced headaches lead
To the siren song of Tylenol,
And hits of store-bought Adderal.
Walk a tight-rope? I'll do the deed.
In the end I know I'll fall
Since I'm merely human after all.
__________
Hows this for form?
Hows this for form?
Parsat said the haibun is a short prose (maybe like a Twitter tweet in length) followed by a haiku. I don't know if you're allowed to write a poem instead of prose for it to be a haibun. Which is a shame if not, I really liked the poem! :3
Thanks Jess! Though I think its obvious I have no clue what prose is; my idea was wrong. To Wikipedia! Away!
No problem Mav. By the way prose is just the normal way we write literature. Perhaps change your poem into a paragraph or something :3
I see blood spilling. I see brave mens die. I see husbands who will never see their son grow. I see people fleeing. I see the world burn.
I hear the cries. I hear metal against metal. I hear the last breaths of dying mens. I hear the shouts of fearsome warriors. I hear the sounds of Hell on Earth.
I feel the cold grip of my sword. I feel the flesh opening under my blows. I feel the bones cracking. I feel life leaving the corpses of my mens. I feel the blood, all that blood, on my hands.
I feel fear blocking me. I hear the gallop of a black horse. I see War.
His words, his thundering words...
"What a man is now?
"Between rives of an hot blood..."
"What a man is now?"
"Nothing. It's nothing."
"Just a quick flash of my sword."
"Lost. Soon forgotten..."
________________________
Prose first, two haikus later.
It's good?
my friend said
he didnt like goodneighbor
we arent friends anymore
hahaha just kidding
hes dead.
Mav and Gentleman's poems pass the form, while nonfatcow's does not. The deadline is extended to Saturday, October 27 due to lack of entries. This will be the only extension due to the relative difficulty of this prompt.
I realize this is right on the line, sorry about the delay.
He walks alone, through teeming cities and desolate plains, always searching, always alone.
Searching for answers
End solitude, loneliness
Identity found
My apologies for the late judging. I had three papers due this week, so I was unable to judge in a timely manner. Now I said that I would judge no matter what, so since we have three submissions, all three get a special mention. The haibun is an extremely advanced poetry technique, and so all three deserve to be mentioned. I will do this in the order they were submitted, to preserve the identity of the winner until the end.
Maverick4
The Mightiest Rock
Slowly the river
Will wear down the mightiest
Rock. All yield to it.
-----
Hang-over induced headaches lead
To the siren song of Tylenol,
And hits of store-bought Adderal.
Walk a tight-rope? I'll do the deed.
In the end I know I'll fall
Since I'm merely human after all.
The haiku component struck me as very Western because of its enjambment, despite its natural subject. While not typical for haiku at all, I did like the rough look it gave, especially paired with the gritty verse segment. There is a sense of grinding, agonizingly slow dissipation that is conveyed well.
The_Gentleman
I see blood spilling. I see brave men die. I see husbands who will never see their son grow. I see people fleeing. I see the world burn.
I hear the cries. I hear metal against metal. I hear the last breaths of dying mens. I hear the shouts of fearsome warriors. I hear the sounds of Hell on Earth.
I feel the cold grip of my sword. I feel the flesh opening under my blows. I feel the bones cracking. I feel life leaving the corpses of my men. I feel the blood, all that blood, on my hands.
I feel fear blocking me. I hear the gallop of a black horse. I see War.
His words, his thundering words...
"What a man is now?
"Between rives of an hot blood..."
"What a man is now?"
"Nothing. It's nothing."
"Just a quick flash of my sword."
"Lost. Soon forgotten..."
The reference to the horseman of the Apocalypse is not lost here, conveyed by a man who sees his own imminent death in the midst of a hellish end. I feel that the double haiku is interesting but not particularly necessary...I don't feel that the repetition was the best in the first one either. In such a terse form, it may be advisable to keep it moving. The prose is especially atmospheric but a little drawn out. Still, a very thematic and well-rendered piece.
Kyouzou
He walks alone, through teeming cities and desolate plains, always searching, always alone.
Searching for answers
End solitude, loneliness
Identity found
I like the terseness of both the prose and haiku sections...it leaves much for the mind to imagine and link together. On the other hand, reusing words between the prose and haiku felt like a limit was placed where there didn't need to be...like the leap of faith was not quite far enough to merit faith. Still, the ability to convey mood and tension with such an economy of words is by all means not easy, and you did it well.
As we can see, these three entries took very different approaches, but with surprisingly similar subject matter. Which one did the best? In the end, I will have to go with Maverick4's submission. He took two seeming incongruous prose and haiku sections and melded them very well, even using verse and enjambment to his advantage in setting up the scene. Well done! He is our merit winner for this round.
Our next theme is much simpler...I've learned my lesson not to do complex form themes. The theme is Bells, in honor of one of my personal favorites, Edgar Allan Poe's The Bells. Bells have appeared in many cultures, and the peal of the bell can evoke many different meanings and emotions, oftentimes conflicting and contradictory. Feel free to explore in this simple theme! The deadline for this prompt will be on Saturday, November 17. Good luck, and happy writing.
Well done! He is our merit winner for this round.
Thanks! But did Gantic allow merits again? Or is this the reemergence of old habits?
Interestingly enough, Poe's 'Bells' came to my mind as soon as I saw the title. Sophomore English, somehow harder than my AP class. :/
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